Anonymous wrote:My DH has been sober for 15+ years. He filled his free time with exercise so is now really fit, too. He also reads voraciously - more than a book a week. He is generous, loyal and loving. He is an excellent partner, because he understands flaws and can forgive them. He has worked hard to become the person he is, and I don’t worry at all about him relapsing at this point. We check in on it occasionally, and he says he doesn’t miss the person he was.

So yeah, I’d date that guy.

Sounds like a gem! A lot of people have a past. A few of them have done the work to unpack it, learn from it, and grow into better people. Not all addicts/alcoholics get there, but those who do have a great lens on relationships and humanity in general.

Anonymous wrote:My DH has been sober for 15+ years. He filled his free time with exercise so is now really fit, too. He also reads voraciously - more than a book a week. He is generous, loyal and loving. He is an excellent partner, because he understands flaws and can forgive them. He has worked hard to become the person he is, and I don’t worry at all about him relapsing at this point. We check in on it occasionally, and he says he doesn’t miss the person he was.

So yeah, I’d date that guy.

🧡

A divorced friend with two small kids married a recovered alcoholic when he was 15 years sober at 40 years old. He has been a wonderful father to their children. Has a very successful career and is a great member of the community. Everyone is different but I also echo what others who have had positive things to say have pointed out. Many recovered alcoholics are very disciplined and ambitious people who have also done the work to be in touch with their emotions and admit their faults and failings. If you’re lucky to meet someone like that you could be very happy with that person. But yes, always a gamble when you bring anyone into your life.