Anonymous wrote:My family has farmed eight generations. In that community, it's a rude question. Answer will be "we have enough for us" In reality it's all public record and only new comers would ask.

I don’t believe you. I have never, ever heard someone say this about their farm (and never, ever seen anyone bother to confirm numbers through public records). But what do I know, I just like chatting with fellow farmers at extension agent meetings and county fairs. Your family of farmers are obviously the high class ones who farmed the deck of the Mayflower back in the day, impressive!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is BK? Is this Bethesda or some other striver neighborhood?

In my normal neighborhood, when someone compliments your outfit we’re quick to reply it’s from Amazon, it’s on sale, and oh here’s the link, go snatch one up!

op - brooklyn.

I'm manhattan where it's normal to compliment and then share where you got something. It was SO odd.

If you are in Manhattan and were in party in Brooklyn, why are you posting on a site meant for ppl living in DC and its suburbs? And why on earth would you expect anyone to understand what BK means? You sound annoying. Who uses an acronym that no one would understand?

Perhaps because many MANY people know Brooklyn as BK, the Boogie Down BK, BK to the fullest

I doubt it's that they don't want you to copy them and more that they don't want you to know what they paid for it. Personally, a dress I am wearing is more likely to be an anthro dress I thrifted, and I don't have an issue sharing that. I got a NWT Dress the Population gown for $25 from Poshmark that I wore to a gala (I had to have it tailored but new it would have cost $300-$400 plus tailoring, so I saved a bunch) and Poshmark likely got many a new click because of it.

I have had bad experiences with women in my social circle who ask these questions a lot and then will go out and buy the EXACT same items, and it is awkward. Especially if it's a dress I might wear to a party. If it's just a pair of jeans or a t-shirt, who cares. But if it's a dress with a somewhat memorable pattern or style, it is genuinely annoying to have someone in the same social circle who owns the same one.

There was a woman in my orbit some years ago who would basically just buy all my clothes. It started with workout clothes because we took exercise classes together (along with lots of other women in our social circle). If she saw me wearing anything even a little bit recognizable -- leggings with a unique pattern, specific sneakers, etc. -- she would go buy identical ones. The first one or two times it happened it was like "oh haha twins!" But it got weird. Then she started doing it with other things -- at one point she had the exact same pair of tall block heel boots, in the same camel leather, several dresses, and a winter coat identical to mine.

I don't have amazing style or anything. Also this woman didn't have the same body type as me and it seemed odd I would be her style guide. But mostly it was just weird. People started assuming we were best friends because she dressed so much like me, but I barely knew her. It just felt creepy and sad and I found myself avoiding wearing the items she'd copied just to avoid comments or questions (or risk matching) which sucked.

So I guess now I can be cagey about it. I'm not trying to gatekeeper, but I feel weird about it. If some people weren't obsessively copycat in this way, I don't think I'd care. But at this point I do wonder, if someone asks, if they are just going to go buy the same thing and then it's weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is BK? Is this Bethesda or some other striver neighborhood?

In my normal neighborhood, when someone compliments your outfit we’re quick to reply it’s from Amazon, it’s on sale, and oh here’s the link, go snatch one up!

op - brooklyn.

I'm manhattan where it's normal to compliment and then share where you got something. It was SO odd.

If you are in Manhattan and were in party in Brooklyn, why are you posting on a site meant for ppl living in DC and its suburbs? And why on earth would you expect anyone to understand what BK means? You sound annoying. Who uses an acronym that no one would understand?

My first thoughts were Burger King and Bangkok!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a big deal to share where you bought your clothes? If someone asks I always say the brand, but I buy most of my casual clothes on EBay or Poshmark so they’re not what’s latest in the stores.

Why do you need to know? What is the point in asking?

What’s the point in pretending your clothes are a state secret?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is BK? Is this Bethesda or some other striver neighborhood?

In my normal neighborhood, when someone compliments your outfit we’re quick to reply it’s from Amazon, it’s on sale, and oh here’s the link, go snatch one up!

op - brooklyn.

I'm manhattan where it's normal to compliment and then share where you got something. It was SO odd.

If you are in Manhattan and were in party in Brooklyn, why are you posting on a site meant for ppl living in DC and its suburbs? And why on earth would you expect anyone to understand what BK means? You sound annoying. Who uses an acronym that no one would understand?

I sometimes obfuscate. I wasn't raised talking about how much something costs or where it's from. I've tried to change this, but then it felt really weird when someone complimented me on an outfit and I'd say "thank you! It's from Nordstrom Rack." I have had many friends text me later asking me where my black pants were from and I'll send them all the details.

That being said, I spend too much money on clothes and don't want others to know it. I will often downplay where things came from.

If I really love the design I’ll look it up, not to see the price but to find the designer. I like discovering new stores and unique designs, that’s all. But I won’t ever ask a stranger or acquaintance.

My family has farmed eight generations. In that community, it's a rude question. Answer will be "we have enough for us" In reality it's all public record and only new comers would ask.

Anonymous wrote:The people who ask you where you got something when you don’t know them are the same people who will judge you so hard, sometimes right to your face. Especially if it was expensive.

If I say “Zimmerman” or whatever that woman is going to be like “oh my god, I could never spend that much on a dress” or like “I think they have the same thing at tj maxx.”

Asking where a dress is from is the same thing as asking how much it cost and that’s an invasive question so people dodge it.

Oh please. Everyone knows it's easy to buy them for $200-$300 since they don't sell all that well. Just another self impressed twit.

Anonymous wrote:It’s rude to ask someone where they bought something. It’s also rude to ask someone how makes their dress or bag, how much their house cost, whether their art work/boobs/diamond/designer purse is “real,” to ask landowner how many acres she owns, how much they spend on tuition, etc. I don’t understand how few people seem to understand this, as it’s basic manners. It’s fine to compliment something and fine if the person volunteers where they bought it but asking is intrusive and downright rude.

I had a coworker pester me about my bag. Every day she’d ask “Is it Tory Burch” “It is Marc Jacob?” It was a limited edition Louis Vuitton (not monogrammed so not obvious). We were baby lawyers at the time, making the same salary and often with colleagues complaining about law school loans. If I told her where I got my bag, she’d either assume I was an over spender or figure out I had family money. Neither are any of her business. I just kept responding that I didn’t know but she was relentless about it. So rude!

Hahaha, she liked pushing your buttons obviously.

Anyway, no farmer has ever been offended talking about how much land they have, so strikes that off the list. The only thing that makes us happier is talking about things like soil testing, cattle prices and buying semen from high quality sires from the Internet auctions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Pretend you don't look up what your friends clothes cost. Like you don't look up their cars or homes.

Gross people are always convinced everyone is just as vile

IKR!? I have never looked up anyone’s house, car, or clothes. Especially cars, who even cares? I don’t know one car from another to google.

Anyway, I got a compliment the other day and was thrilled to share I got my dress on TEMU. Congrats to be for finding something pretty for $11!

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a big deal to share where you bought your clothes? If someone asks I always say the brand, but I buy most of my casual clothes on EBay or Poshmark so they’re not what’s latest in the stores.

Why do you need to know? What is the point in asking?

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Pretend you don't look up what your friends clothes cost. Like you don't look up their cars or homes.

Gross people are always convinced everyone is just as vile