Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my case, it's because I'm getting divorced for the second time and I have a kid with a baby momma as well as two with my second wife. Therapies for the kids, child support, multiple houses. The money just flies out the door. And I bring in $450K gross.

You know what they say about sticking it in crazy!

Anonymous wrote:In my case, it's because I'm getting divorced for the second time and I have a kid with a baby momma as well as two with my second wife. Therapies for the kids, child support, multiple houses. The money just flies out the door. And I bring in $450K gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is always talking about how expensive everything is. But, even when both our families does the same thing, her costs are always really high, because she likes luxury.

We both did 4 day Disney trip with 2 kids each. We went separately. She took off one day, so that they could travel and reach in a leisurely manner, and then once in the hotel, they could rest up the next day. DH and I, made that drive in one day, did not take time off from work, did not stop anywhere and reached the hotel late at night.

She booked the hotel inside disney. Ours was a residence inn outside disney. We ate breakfast at the hotel, packed our snacks and lunch, came back for dinner at the hotel and a nap, went back again for fireworks. Their family ate every meal at disney. And sorry, but not sorry, meals at Disney is super duper expensive and extremely basic.

They bought every little disney momento that they could. I had already bought disney toys from other sources that I gave to the kids. She was spending hundreds of dollars more each day than what we were spending.

I don't have issues with spending money on a vacation and the finer things of life - but only if you can afford it. If you are not saving for the big expenditures that will come later in life, then you have to rein in your spending. DH and I, have a target of how much we have to save for retirement, college, kids weddings etc. We first pay in those accounts.

But can you friend afford to blow money? Good on you for your frugaling.

Well, they make what is good money, but then they also have major lifestyle creep (Disney is one small example). What they think is wealthy is just normal DMV UMC. We make the same amount but we will look at cutting costs wherever we can. For example, we have decent cars that we keep for many years, they lease their cars and change it every 3 years. They live in a house that costs 3x what it costs for our SFH. They spend enormous amounts for multiple vacations going to luxury resorts etc. If they earn 300k, they spend 290k. They are generous and they give to others too, but it is just that they will supersize everything. If they go to starbucks, they do not stop at one coffee, they want to have an assortment of baked goods, just because.

i think they feel very happy when they treat themselves. they do not like the concept of saving because this may make them feel poor - like they are being careful with their money. They think that rich and happy people live lavishly, so they too do that. But the money stress is constant with them. A sudden expense of a few hundred will get them very bothered.

Why are you friends with this person? It doesn’t sound like you respect her very much and the only thing you get from the relationship is looking down your nose at her lifestyle choices in order to feel better about your own.

Anonymous wrote:Mmm we are just fine. My husband saved over 5 million by the time he was 30...twenty years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:( 950) gas, electric, water, cable, cell phone

DP. I thought this might be a bit high too. Is this amount constant or high due to summer cooling bills? Also, how much is “cable”?

Are you kidding? Mine is $1400 for all this. She has 3 pre/teen kids that shower, have cell phones and exist. More expensive than the baby phase

Wut? I live in 2800 sf house with 2 teens who play sports and are constantly showering.
Gas, electric, water, trash, internet, and cell phones come out to $600 per month. Cell phones are already paid for though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is always talking about how expensive everything is. But, even when both our families does the same thing, her costs are always really high, because she likes luxury.

We both did 4 day Disney trip with 2 kids each. We went separately. She took off one day, so that they could travel and reach in a leisurely manner, and then once in the hotel, they could rest up the next day. DH and I, made that drive in one day, did not take time off from work, did not stop anywhere and reached the hotel late at night.

She booked the hotel inside disney. Ours was a residence inn outside disney. We ate breakfast at the hotel, packed our snacks and lunch, came back for dinner at the hotel and a nap, went back again for fireworks. Their family ate every meal at disney. And sorry, but not sorry, meals at Disney is super duper expensive and extremely basic.

They bought every little disney momento that they could. I had already bought disney toys from other sources that I gave to the kids. She was spending hundreds of dollars more each day than what we were spending.

I don't have issues with spending money on a vacation and the finer things of life - but only if you can afford it. If you are not saving for the big expenditures that will come later in life, then you have to rein in your spending. DH and I, have a target of how much we have to save for retirement, college, kids weddings etc. We first pay in those accounts.

But can you friend afford to blow money? Good on you for your frugaling.

Well, they make what is good money, but then they also have major lifestyle creep (Disney is one small example). What they think is wealthy is just normal DMV UMC. We make the same amount but we will look at cutting costs wherever we can. For example, we have decent cars that we keep for many years, they lease their cars and change it every 3 years. They live in a house that costs 3x what it costs for our SFH. They spend enormous amounts for multiple vacations going to luxury resorts etc. If they earn 300k, they spend 290k. They are generous and they give to others too, but it is just that they will supersize everything. If they go to starbucks, they do not stop at one coffee, they want to have an assortment of baked goods, just because.

i think they feel very happy when they treat themselves. they do not like the concept of saving because this may make them feel poor - like they are being careful with their money. They think that rich and happy people live lavishly, so they too do that. But the money stress is constant with them. A sudden expense of a few hundred will get them very bothered.

Why are you friends with this person? It doesn’t sound like you respect her very much and the only thing you get from the relationship is looking down your nose at her lifestyle choices in order to feel better about your own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:( 950) gas, electric, water, cable, cell phone

DP. I thought this might be a bit high too. Is this amount constant or high due to summer cooling bills? Also, how much is “cable”?

Are you kidding? Mine is $1400 for all this. She has 3 pre/teen kids that shower, have cell phones and exist. More expensive than the baby phase

+1 I’m a single mom and my water/gas/electric bill is $280 a month; kid has no cell phone until 15, and a phone with parental controls after that only texts and calls; and we haven’t had cable for 15 years or a landline for 20+ years. We have one streaming service (Netflix with ads for $8/month) and Spotify, plus library cards and two 8 year old kindles.

Well, we make much more than that and don’t have cable, and our kids don’t have phones until they are 15. We also would never have a $700 car payment. Your friend sucks at managing her money, don’t pretend like this is OK. She might be living paycheck to paycheck but that is on her.