Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Husbands don’t go out to lunch with their guy friends. Nice try though.

Uh yes they do. Does having a penis mean they don't eat lunch?

This.

Anonymous wrote:I don't usually bring my kids to adult catch-up meals but I find the tone of these responses depressing. No one is interested in getting to know their friends' kids?

We recently experienced this - were traveling and could meet up with friends but obviously didn't have childcare. Everyone was asking if we could meet without kids (and they don't know our kids so it's not because they are terribly behaved or something).

I’m not interested in babies and toddlers. When the kids are old enough to have a coherent conversation, that’s different.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 12 months old and in the last couple months I’m finally feeling like I have a handle on getting out of the house and doing things with her. I have been getting lunch with friends (most of whom don’t have kids yet) and typically bring her along. We obviously don’t go to any fancy spots. Is this annoying?

Yes

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Men get so much child-free time as parents, but any woman who wants a few hours with girlfriends are suddenly bad parents

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Husbands don’t go out to lunch with their guy friends. Nice try though.

Uh yes they do. Does having a penis mean they don't eat lunch?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

Then don’t go to lunch. Find another time so it’s not just your friend watching you feed your kid and wipe their nose, unable to get a word in.

You bring things to entertain the kid with. I always bring mine when little, and now friends with younger kids bring theirs. I have no issue with it. Its sad you do. I'm happy to help the kids and entertain them.

I didn't go to lunch with my adult friend to entertain children. Maybe that's the disconnect here, you don't seem to understand that not *everyone* wants to spend all their free time with children.

Agree. I think you need to ask if it’s ok first so that everyone knows that they are signing up for a lunch of peek-a-boo and tic tac toe at the table instead of catching up with adult friends you don’t get to see often. That way people can make an informed decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

How is being invited to lunch "demanding" anything? Is that how you view friendships? No, of course I wouldn't "demand" a friend do anything. But if I'm inviting my friend out to lunch (or brunch or dinner or whatever), it doesnt automatically include children. If you don't want to put effort into maintaining your friendships, your friends will eventually get tired of it and yes, the friendship is over. If you look at every invitation as a "demand" on your time, then yes, the friendship is over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

I don’t think this is necessarily true. When I was a SAHM when our kids were small and I had a rare opportunity to have lunch with one of my friends, I absolutely relished the adult time. I would trade off with other SAHM friends for doctors appointments or lunch outings so we had childcare without hiring babysitters. It wasn’t often that I had plans during the day during the week but for me, it was definitely meant to be adult time.

It’s expensive to get a sitter for just lunch. I have no issue with kids coming even if mine don’t.

Then don’t go to lunch. Find another time so it’s not just your friend watching you feed your kid and wipe their nose, unable to get a word in.

You bring things to entertain the kid with. I always bring mine when little, and now friends with younger kids bring theirs. I have no issue with it. Its sad you do. I'm happy to help the kids and entertain them.

I didn't go to lunch with my adult friend to entertain children. Maybe that's the disconnect here, you don't seem to understand that not *everyone* wants to spend all their free time with children.

Anonymous wrote:
Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

Husbands don’t go out to lunch with their guy friends. Nice try though.

Any husbands have this issue?

They definitely aren't dragging kids to meet up with their friends ..

I don't usually bring my kids to adult catch-up meals but I find the tone of these responses depressing. No one is interested in getting to know their friends' kids?

We recently experienced this - were traveling and could meet up with friends but obviously didn't have childcare. Everyone was asking if we could meet without kids (and they don't know our kids so it's not because they are terribly behaved or something).

Not at all, OP. I'd be delighted to see a mini-you!

But as you can see from this thread, some people aren't very baby-friendly.

I don’t understand the problem.

If you initiate the invite, you just say “hey wanna grab lunch with me and little Suzie?”

If they initiate the invite you bring her if they invite her and don’t if they don’t.

Anonymous wrote:Asking accomplishes nothing. Would anyone ever say it was annoying even if it was the worst thing ever? (I am from the South lol).

I don't say it's annoying but I do say things like "it would be great for us to have some adult time sometime. Maybe the next lunch?"

I love kids, but I miss my friends and it's rare that they're not very distracted when their little kids are present and then the lunch is not at all relaxing.

I'd rather meet them at a playground or for a walk so at least the kid can run free for a bit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't bring her. Even if they say they don't mind, they honestly don't want her there.

Agreed. Also, if your friends that you are meeting are childless, only talk about your daughter for five minutes or so. Hearing about kids is mind-numbing to non-parents. They don’t want to hear about her, they want to hear about what YOU have been up to.

I don't want to hear about your kid for more than 5 minutes and I have kids of my own. Kids aren't that interesting. I'm going out with you to spend time with you to for maybe 45 minutes remember a time before being mom.