When I sign my kids up for summer swim, I am not signing them up to have adult males staring at, judging, and talking about their crotch in “normal but frustrated” tones of voice whatever the hell that is.

Whether or not this kid might have been trans, the damage to little girls when we decide that adult men are entitled to look at and discuss their private parts is infinitely greater than the damage of coming in 3rd place rather than 2nd in a kickboard race.

This pool needs to do damage control because if I knew that someone engaged in this kind of sexual predatory behavior and was allowed back, I would certainly never swim there again. I assume his poor kids will never have an other play date or birthday in their lives unless maybe there is a divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

What alert do you think was needed? It hasn’t even been established that the kid was a boy. But neither Luis nor the posters on this forum had kids participating in the 8 and under event in question. Do you think they should have hired a sky writer? Or just made sure to alert the most hateful marshal?

It’s a bait and switch if you thought you had your kid signed up for a certain event and then it changed. It’s fine if you sign your kid up for co-ed sports but not ok to arbitrarily decide the sports are co-ed after the fact if that’s not what you paid for.

If someone went to the league after this meet and asked for a refund because they were pulling their kid, I think the response would have been very different. When you don't get what you signed up for, getting your money back is a reasonable remedy. But if a restaurant is out of my preferred food, and I respond by speaking in a heated tone, using profanity, and writing on the menu posted in the window, I should not feel wronged when I am banned.

Luis and his antics aside, just giving you chicken when you ordered fish is not a suitable substitution without letting you know first. Rules shouldn’t be bent on the fly for Luis or anyone. We all know what the rules are and conduct is one of them. Is everyone being held accountable or just Luis?

"At that point I moved off the deck to find the Meet Host and the Woodley Swim Team Representative."

In other words, I left my post as marshal to become a vigilante.

Such a clear dereliction of assigned duties makes me wonder if he volunteered with the intent of making a scene.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

What alert do you think was needed? It hasn’t even been established that the kid was a boy. But neither Luis nor the posters on this forum had kids participating in the 8 and under event in question. Do you think they should have hired a sky writer? Or just made sure to alert the most hateful marshal?

It’s a bait and switch if you thought you had your kid signed up for a certain event and then it changed. It’s fine if you sign your kid up for co-ed sports but not ok to arbitrarily decide the sports are co-ed after the fact if that’s not what you paid for.

If someone went to the league after this meet and asked for a refund because they were pulling their kid, I think the response would have been very different. When you don't get what you signed up for, getting your money back is a reasonable remedy. But if a restaurant is out of my preferred food, and I respond by speaking in a heated tone, using profanity, and writing on the menu posted in the window, I should not feel wronged when I am banned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

Weighing the harm to the child you questioned (whether you were right or wrong about their private parts) versus any potential harms to the kids swimming against that child, no. The meet itself was a mixed-gender event both in terms of participants and spectators; if someone was concerned about being seen in a bathing suit by a member of the opposite sex, they wouldn't have been there. People were not desperately in need of your opinion about the sex of one of the swimmers. An alert is for fire, lightning, improper chemical balance in the pool, someone choking, or other emergencies. "I was staring at a child's crotch and think I saw a bulge" is not an emergency.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were wrong about everything. You had zero authority to do what you did.

- long time swim mom who is against trans girls competing with cis gender girls.

You seem to agree with me on the underlying issue; if so, how can I be wrong about everything?

I address my authority (or lack thereof) to act here: Woodley Suspension>Luis'Account>Speaking to the Offending Team>My Thoughts.

I'd be interested to hear how you've handled similar situations or if you haven't encountered similar situations, how you expect to change the current landscape vis a vis "trans girls competing with cis gender girls". For other readers, I suggest that you can avoid situations like mine by acting now and writing to your pool and league governing boards.

Jeez, you seriously need help.

1. You cursed. You claim it could have happened but don’t think so…and someone else says it did. Their memory stands uncontroverted.

2. You wrote “boy” on the results on the sheet for all to see.

3. You criticized mom and grandma publicly.

4. You took matters into your own hands when you did not like the result of your reporting.

5. There is not even independent confirmation (not from you) as to this kid’s gender.

6. Gave an interview to a right wing website, risking harassment to the staff of the pool.

Has there been harassment to the staff is the pool? Is this why the pool was closed last week for ‘training’

Yes.

So you decided to be a vigilante hero and now don't like that you are facing consequences for your actions?

Your argument holds some merit from a broad perspective—it’s reasonable to suggest that boys might have a biological advantage in certain athletic events. However, when we look at the actual performance data from NVSL 2025 for the 9–10 age group in the 25-meter butterfly, the gap is far smaller than one might assume.

An analysis of the top 100 times for boys and girls reveals that boys’ average time is just 0.0529 seconds faster than girls’. That’s a mere five-hundredths of a second—a difference so small it’s essentially negligible in the context of summer league swimming.

Here’s a detailed breakdown:

| Tier | Girls’ Avg Time | Boys’ Avg Time | Difference (Girls - Boys) |
| ------- | ---------------- | --------------- | -------------------------- |
| Top 25 | 16.53 s | 16.62 s | -0.087 s |
| Top 50 | 17.14 s | 17.21 s | -0.067 s |
| Top 75 | 17.59 s | 17.63 s | -0.040 s |
| Top 100 | 17.95 s | 18.01 s | -0.053 s |

As the data shows, girls and boys are almost evenly matched, even at the very top. The gender-based performance gap becomes even smaller as the sample size increases, demonstrating that, at this age and in this event, any perceived advantage is statistically insignificant.

Commentary on Your Conduct at the Meet

Regarding how this issue was raised, your behavior, as described in your post, was entirely inappropriate—particularly at a Mini Meet designed to prioritize fun, inclusion, and growth. As a Marshal, your responsibility is to ensure safety and order, not to confront families or unilaterally enforce gender classifications.

Publicly confronting a child’s family, making baseless accusations, and later annotating meet result sheets with the word “boy” showed poor judgment and a serious lack of professionalism. That this occurred in a low-stakes developmental meet only underscores how disproportionate your actions were.

The Board’s decision to suspend your membership is understandable. Frankly, you should consider issuing a formal apology—not only to the participating teams but also to the child and family you targeted. There are respectful and appropriate ways to address concerns, but your approach was neither. Take this as a learning opportunity to reflect and grow from this mistake.

Anonymous wrote:Op - the underlying issue is the way you reacted to the situation. Others in this thread have mentioned it: you talked to the ref and that should've been enough. If you have a problem with the way these types of situations are handled in NVSL, be an adult and have a conversation with the league about it. You could have also mentioned it to the child's team after the meet. Don't go after the kid, his team, the results sheet (which I think is such a horrible action, it's laughable). I'm applaud Woodley's board for holding you accountable.

+1. You were completely out of line in how you handled this OP. I think you are a self righteous creep - not because of your belief about trans kids in sports, you are entitled to that - but because of how you acted and continued to act. You are not a good person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

What alert do you think was needed? It hasn’t even been established that the kid was a boy. But neither Luis nor the posters on this forum had kids participating in the 8 and under event in question. Do you think they should have hired a sky writer? Or just made sure to alert the most hateful marshal?

It’s a bait and switch if you thought you had your kid signed up for a certain event and then it changed. It’s fine if you sign your kid up for co-ed sports but not ok to arbitrarily decide the sports are co-ed after the fact if that’s not what you paid for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I encourage everyone on this thread to dedicate time to watching this from John Oliver. I leaned hard toward not wanting trans kids in girls sports, but watching this made me question my beliefs and become much less worked up about it

NP. Most of this is wrong or at best cherry-picked and misleading. It’s been torn apart by sports analysts.

+1 I wouldn’t hold up John Oliver as the standard on this issue just like I wouldn’t hold up Riley Gaines as the standard. The discussion is more nuanced than either will allow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

What alert do you think was needed? It hasn’t even been established that the kid was a boy. But neither Luis nor the posters on this forum had kids participating in the 8 and under event in question. Do you think they should have hired a sky writer? Or just made sure to alert the most hateful marshal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Doesn’t sound like they gave an alert to the participants that it was now a mixed gender event. Shouldn’t the participants know what kind of event they are participating in when they thought they signed up for segregated sex?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so horribly for the family of the swimmer at the center of this ridiculous fiasco. Have you ever even considered putting yourself in their shoes?

They have a child who is likely struggling with their identity but also wants to swim. I bet they just want the best for their kid and to help their child grow into a confident happy human who spends their time participating in activities that make them happy and grow their confidence at a time when they may be doubting an awful lot about themselves.

And then comes along a self-righteous, bigoted garbage human who feels that it is his right to publicly tear it all down.

You sir, are the worst kind of a$$hole there is.

Then they should have taken that up with the powers that be to make sure it was ok to bend the rules in a sex segregated event where times mattered. It’s not a free for all based on the whims of a kid to decide who they are on a given day.

Who are you to know whether they did?? It was the opposing team. They very well may have had a discussion with that teams coaches, that seems really likely. That is why self righteous egotistical jerks without all the information don’t need to come in, “scan” children’s bodies, make assumptions, and embarrass children in a mini meet that isn’t even a real competition. That is about pride and politics and nothing else. It was cruel and self centered. As others have said intersex is a medical condition. God forbid this child has that. And if gender dysphoria is what they are struggling with they deserve to be treated like a child and not shamed as well. It is not your place.

I am a new poster and like others Luis, I completely and unequivocally disagree with how you approached this. Under NO circumstances was this an appropriate response in front of a child. If you have an issue or a question of policy bring it up with the adults after the event.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were wrong about everything. You had zero authority to do what you did.

- long time swim mom who is against trans girls competing with cis gender girls.

You seem to agree with me on the underlying issue; if so, how can I be wrong about everything?

I address my authority (or lack thereof) to act here: Woodley Suspension>Luis'Account>Speaking to the Offending Team>My Thoughts.

I'd be interested to hear how you've handled similar situations or if you haven't encountered similar situations, how you expect to change the current landscape vis a vis "trans girls competing with cis gender girls". For other readers, I suggest that you can avoid situations like mine by acting now and writing to your pool and league governing boards.

Jeez, you seriously need help.

1. You cursed. You claim it could have happened but don’t think so…and someone else says it did. Their memory stands uncontroverted.

2. You wrote “boy” on the results on the sheet for all to see.

3. You criticized mom and grandma publicly.

4. You took matters into your own hands when you did not like the result of your reporting.

5. There is not even independent confirmation (not from you) as to this kid’s gender.

6. Gave an interview to a right wing website, risking harassment to the staff of the pool.

Has there been harassment to the staff is the pool? Is this why the pool was closed last week for ‘training’