Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

I mean, I'll be glad to pay for my grandchildren's education, but if my kids can get FA to bring the price tag down, I won't object. Guess I'm not rich enough.

A living example of “money can’t buy class.”

Only new money spends more for something than they have to. Old money is notoriously frugal. Have fun subsidizing others!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

I mean, I'll be glad to pay for my grandchildren's education, but if my kids can get FA to bring the price tag down, I won't object. Guess I'm not rich enough.

A living example of “money can’t buy class.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the flex of throwing in the diary that she went to the Inn at Little Washington the weekend before. Well played.

Seriously. That's an $800 date night, easy.

She didn't say that. She said she was in Little Washington, the town, and picked up some food (bread?).

Anonymous wrote:This part of the quote is my favorite:

"The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the flex of throwing in the diary that she went to the Inn at Little Washington the weekend before. Well played.

Seriously. That's an $800 date night, easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

I mean, I'll be glad to pay for my grandchildren's education, but if my kids can get FA to bring the price tag down, I won't object. Guess I'm not rich enough.

A living example of “money can’t buy class.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Wow, that's a gross quote. So she's doing the school a favor by being broke on paper but not "actually poor"? Now I want to read all of her comments.

It's gross and it's a mindset that is very common in the DC nonprofit/think tank world where she works. I used to work in that world and was grossed out by many of my coworkers. They are worse than the actual full pay people at privates like biglaw lawyers who had loans actually put in the time and work 80 hour weeks. A lot of these nonprofit people are like her--they are truly entitled as in they feel like they deserve private school while working very little and having inheritances coming to them because they are "intelligent" and uppity. They are also the most opposed to actual poor students being in the school because it takes away from what they feel they are entitled to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

I mean, I'll be glad to pay for my grandchildren's education, but if my kids can get FA to bring the price tag down, I won't object. Guess I'm not rich enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

I mean, I'll be glad to pay for my grandchildren's education, but if my kids can get FA to bring the price tag down, I won't object. Guess I'm not rich enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Wealthy people just pay the bill. When you come from lots of money (even if you are downwardly mobile) you’re not turning your financial data over to whomever in the financial aid office. You tell your parents how much it costs and they put that amount in your savings account or you get it from an educational trust. And if you make lots of money you just pay it yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

I don’t like the term “harpies”, but I was struck by the negativity here vs the comments as well. The article was well-written, and I enjoyed reading details about what life looks for a family of 3 choosing the DC lifestyle they did compared to my DC area lifestyle with a higher HHI but in the suburbs and with 3 kids. I would love to read more of these DC-focused diaries.

Maybe I'm missing some comments but the ones I saw are from younger people saying things like "I hope to have a life like this when I'm your age!" and I think before you get married or have kids reading about someone with a very achievable HHI but a very leisurely life probably sounds nice and potentially an option for your future. But for those of us who live in DC and have kids and pay our own bills what jumps out is how very scaffolded her life is. She and her husband don't save money for anything at all beyond retirement. She didn't save for a downpayment on her house, or her condo, or her car. She doesn't have savings for college. She's kind of skating along spending everything that's not a pre-tax deduction and sure: that's nice work if you can get it, but seeing her cheerfully respond to a 30 year old commenter looking forward to having that lifestyle herself in a decade feels almost meanspirited. This is not a lifestyle you can "achieve," only one you can receive. And if you haven't had it handed to you at 30 it's not coming at 39.

No one receiving tons of parental scaffolding is looking around thinking ‘I’ve created a really nice life for myself and I would be in a much worse place if I was not reliant on family $.’ Instead, they are like ‘I work really hard to have this life.’ They’ve lived in a fantasy land where their parents put them ahead on the board and then kept pushing them ahead their entire life. They may realize when they can’t provide the same scaffolding they received to their child that they were exceptionally lucky to have had what they had.

If you look at her responses to the article comments, she does realize how much parental help she’s gotten and is grateful for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

But this woman and her family really are full pay because the grandparents could pay. She has the income at her disposal to pay. She’s not MC diversity. She’s not the “missing middle” version for private school (my guess is Maret). And what kind of mindset is that we can’t have poors or too poor and only want kids of parents that fit in with the full pay parents. Is there some kind of racial undertone in that? WTAF with her statements. Come on people.

It's DEI for downwardly-mobile white people from "good families" who didn't pick lucrative careers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

But this woman and her family really are full pay because the grandparents could pay. She has the income at her disposal to pay. She’s not MC diversity. She’s not the “missing middle” version for private school (my guess is Maret). And what kind of mindset is that we can’t have poors or too poor and only want kids of parents that fit in with the full pay parents. Is there some kind of racial undertone in that? WTAF with her statements. Come on people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."