Anonymous
08/05/2025 17:48
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Your bills must pay themselves.
How would you feel if one day your employer asked you to work 40% more hours for the same pay? because that is exactly what is going on here.
If you have 3 jobs offers, def pick the fully remote 200% pay bump one.
If not, then beggars can’t be choosers.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 17:21
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
So parents who work outside the home are zombies? Plenty of people commute to and from work every day. My commute is an hour each way. My DH is maybe 55 minutes each way. That’s about average for parents I know. I think you are overreacting.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 15:48
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Your bills must pay themselves.
How would you feel if one day your employer asked you to work 40% more hours for the same pay? because that is exactly what is going on here.
Commuting is not working. That is a choice. I had a long commute once. 10 hours roundtrip. So I rented a small pied a tier across street from office for during the week. They I relocated 15 minutes from office after a few months.
Can you perhaps understand that most people can’t do this? Schools, spouse’s job, low rate mortgage etc.
If you say so what, find a new job, well you’re going to need to accept an employer losing a large number of employees for inflexibility. Most people can’t live a life like you have, and most employees would find a new job instead of relocating to 15 minutes from the office. The disruption and impact to morale is a huge problem for a company.
Many higher ups have your mentality until they see the effects of losing 10% more of their workforce and primarily the stronger performers who can find another job offering flexibility.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:58
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope time for you lazy feds to get back to work.
This is why you don’t want boomers in charge, literally going backwards. They can’t fathom people working remotely.
Once they all retire, move on, as long as we don’t keep electing the elderly, things will go back to normal, common sense wins out typically.
It was proven you all weren't "working" from home. Sorry you need a baby sitter. Maybe if you dislike your job so much look for a new one or start your own business that lets you "work from home" or even retire. Personally, I married well and have not worked in 20 some years.
Sorry to ping on this again. We’re still waiting for the proof you mentioned. Can you please share before COB today?
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:48
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In Manhattan NYC pretty much everyone commutes one hour 15 minute one way every day from suburbs and do it for 30-40 years. It is not a big deal.
Yes I’ve done it but now have physical and family circumstances where that will not work.
- OP
Then I guess you are SOL.
OP again and just to remind people - I am NOT SOL. I am considering 3 jobs, one of which is a federal job. If it was my only option, of course I’d have to take it - request an RA, or somehow make it work. But that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking as I consider the pros and cons whether people think RTO will change. I know nobody knows, but I thought maybe people have heard rumblings or have opinions on whether it is working.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:45
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Your bills must pay themselves.
How would you feel if one day your employer asked you to work 40% more hours for the same pay? because that is exactly what is going on here.
Commuting is not working. That is a choice. I had a long commute once. 10 hours roundtrip. So I rented a small pied a tier across street from office for during the week. They I relocated 15 minutes from office after a few months.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:36
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
If you switch agencies, won't that put you on a probationary status and then they could let you go with no RIF benefits like you might be eligible for now?
Check out Reddit fednews and feddiscussion. Last I read there, it was difficult to get RA and you needed to be careful how your requested it. If you implied you can't do the job unless you get it, that might be cause for firing. They were saying RA requests were just languishing or being rejected immediately.
Even if they granted it, it could be reversed at any minute on a political whim. Either plan for a long commute for 10 years, or find something closer.
It's hard to make a wise decision now, since everything can change so quickly.
Check out Reddit fednews and feddiscussion. Last I read there, it was difficult to get RA and you needed to be careful how your requested it. If you implied you can't do the job unless you get it, that might be cause for firing. They were saying RA requests were just languishing or being rejected immediately.
Even if they granted it, it could be reversed at any minute on a political whim. Either plan for a long commute for 10 years, or find something closer.
It's hard to make a wise decision now, since everything can change so quickly.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:36
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Your bills must pay themselves.
How would you feel if one day your employer asked you to work 40% more hours for the same pay? because that is exactly what is going on here.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 14:00
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Cool sorry bro
Anonymous
08/05/2025 13:55
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Pre 2020 I worked in downtown Bethesda right by Metro. Even then nuts wanted remote, WFH and Flex Time.
I say nuts as I had coworkers such as crazy lady from Ashburn three young kids who lived in a gigantic ugly huge McMansion who complained about traffic daily and her husband worked in DC. She would use every excuse to wfh, come on late, leave early.
I finally said you do know the schools are higher rated in Bethesda than Ashburn, you could buy a house walking distance office, have kids in school up the block plus husband could walk to metro and be at work way quicker.
She was highly insulted!! I live in a 8,000 sf house is Asburn you expect me to downsize to 3,000 sf!!!
Well she got fired a few weeks later.
I don’t think it is companies job to subsidize your mansion
I say nuts as I had coworkers such as crazy lady from Ashburn three young kids who lived in a gigantic ugly huge McMansion who complained about traffic daily and her husband worked in DC. She would use every excuse to wfh, come on late, leave early.
I finally said you do know the schools are higher rated in Bethesda than Ashburn, you could buy a house walking distance office, have kids in school up the block plus husband could walk to metro and be at work way quicker.
She was highly insulted!! I live in a 8,000 sf house is Asburn you expect me to downsize to 3,000 sf!!!
Well she got fired a few weeks later.
I don’t think it is companies job to subsidize your mansion
Anonymous
08/05/2025 13:31
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Your bills must pay themselves.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 13:24
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
It's not worth uprooting yourself for a federal job at this stage, who knows when a crazy person will go on a random RiFing binge again.
My dh's agency has decided to allow some limited weekly WFH as so many people were resigning for higher paying remote (or hybrid) positions in private industry that the agency couldn't meet deadlines.
My dh's agency has decided to allow some limited weekly WFH as so many people were resigning for higher paying remote (or hybrid) positions in private industry that the agency couldn't meet deadlines.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:48
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:You hire help. It’s called childcare. Or, you live closer to your job.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s hard OP. RTO for me meant a 90 minutes each way commute to a place I’d never worked before and turned my family’s life upside down.
It is very, very tough. While on one hand, yes I am physically able to get to the office and “work” each day, it is destroying my productivity and physical and mental health, affecting my relationships with my kids and family, and just making life absolutely miserable. But the people in charge now do not care about those things. They want us to be miserable and quit. Many of us are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My kids are teens; it would be devastating for them to have to pick up and move to a new area, and near impossible to find a good enough paying other job in this market.
So I do like many women have for thousands of years: put up with it, put my own physical and mental needs behind those of others, and just hope it will get better before I drop dead.
I’m also not sure it is worth it to stay in the fed workforce just because of the pension.
If I could, I would quit, move far away to lower COL area, and just start over in a new job, but that would really hurt my kids.
You think it doesn't impact men too? I don't get why women make it just about women.
Ok, so this is a parenting forum, and I am a mother. RTO impacts mothers especially. Remote work (zero commute) was the first time I ever had enough time and energy to give 100% at work and also be 100% of the mother I wanted to be and also had time to take care of myself. And I experienced much less anxiety while WFH and was able to really advance in my career, for the first time in my life.
I know there are exceptions but I am not seeing a lot of fathers who are as emotionally as devastated as mothers who had to RTO. I don’t even have little kids. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a parent of an infant with a 3 hour commute.
Remember this is not simply a return to the way things were before.
My kids are teenagers. They don’t need childcare, but they do need a parent or adult in their life who is present and not a zombie. And I am not up rooting my teenagers and ruining their lives for some job that might fire me anyway. You can go right to hell.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:32
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope time for you lazy feds to get back to work.
This is why you don’t want boomers in charge, literally going backwards. They can’t fathom people working remotely.
Once they all retire, move on, as long as we don’t keep electing the elderly, things will go back to normal, common sense wins out typically.
It was proven you all weren't "working" from home. Sorry you need a baby sitter. Maybe if you dislike your job so much look for a new one or start your own business that lets you "work from home" or even retire. Personally, I married well and have not worked in 20 some years.
Personally, I married well and have multiple babysitters. I still work because I enjoy it and I would still really like to telework for a number of reasons that I don’t need to justify to someone who hadn’t worked in 20 years.
Anonymous
08/05/2025 12:05
Subject: Will RTO be relaxed ever?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Nope time for you lazy feds to get back to work.
This is why you don’t want boomers in charge, literally going backwards. They can’t fathom people working remotely.
Once they all retire, move on, as long as we don’t keep electing the elderly, things will go back to normal, common sense wins out typically.
It was proven you all weren't "working" from home. Sorry you need a baby sitter. Maybe if you dislike your job so much look for a new one or start your own business that lets you "work from home" or even retire. Personally, I married well and have not worked in 20 some years.
Hi again! Can you please share the proof? We’re still waiting to see it.