Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 20:46     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:You knew you got the loan. You know mom is bad with finances. You knew she got a divorce. You never bothered to ask to see the loan/ balance?
Where did the two kids come from suddenly? Why wasn't mot of the debt under control before adding daycare? You are a mess.
Why didn't you work and pay as you go? Most foreign students do that.


I didn’t know anything about my parents finances at 18, other than that they paid for college. It’s not on OP that her parents divorced.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 20:35     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
You knew you got the loan. You know mom is bad with finances. You knew she got a divorce. You never bothered to ask to see the loan/ balance?
Where did the two kids come from suddenly? Why wasn't mot of the debt under control before adding daycare? You are a mess.
Why didn't you work and pay as you go? Most foreign students do that.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 20:29     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:It’s a loan under her name. Paying 1000k monthly while I have other student loans plus my husbands loans + daycare is a lot. I’m mad because of the way she handled it. She could have sit down with us and explained the situation- instead I get a random text with the log in for the loan telling me to pay next month.


Yes, she could have handled it better. But you also could have said, "Hey mom, I know you're in a financial crisis now because of the divorce. I bet paying for that loan is really hard for you. Would you like to split it with me going forward?" Each of you could have done better, but here we are. Hers is a reasonable ask, considering her financial situation.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 20:25     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Instead of you assuming the loan you’re probably better off sending her the money every month, and trying to keep it under the gift tax amount each year (which used to be 10K—not sure what it is now). That is a big expense though and I’m sorry you didn’t budget for it — it’s not cool to spring it on you. If there’s still a lot on it. Bankruptcy might not be a bad idea. Or to think about refinancing it to spread the payments out more — that might be an options.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 16:51     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans.


That's your loan. Period.


Wrong. If op didn’t sign for it, it’s not their loan.


Contractually isn’t but don’t be silly, was got DD to go to college. It’s DD’s.


Nope. This is not OP's loan. OP's parents were at fault for having kids they could not afford. Kid did not ask to be born.

They could have sent OP to a cheaper college or had a very clear plan with OP about how the loan will be repayed. All of things evidently did not happen.

Usually, no child pays back their parents for their schooling, college etc.


I’m not sure what universe you live in, but this is the opposite of what usually happens. The OP benefited from this loan, and the mother has been a saint to pay the payments as a gift for this long. OP needs to be grateful and start paying in full, and consider paying her mother back for the money spent.



The parents dropped the ball on communication.

All of this nonsense could have been avoided if they had been upfront with OP from the moment she went to college.

There are people of different means on this board. Some people's kids will have to pay for the loans their parents took. But that should be communicated up front.

Sou ds like your parents had good intentions but bad follow through and bad financial know how.

Reset his as your mom approachs retirement and plan accordingly


DP, in theory I agree with you, but at this point, it’s insane for the mother to continue to pay for a loan that benefited OPs education directly. And the fact that she and her husband have no problem paying his student loan off.


Presumably her husbands loans are in his name and he signed the paperwork with the agreement that they were his responsibility. OP did none of those things. Her mother can try to discharge this loan in bankruptcy or work with her ex-husband who presumably also has his name on the loan. This is only OPs problem if she allows it to be.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 16:49     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine a world where my child expects me as parent to pay for their college loan. This is insane.


And I can imagine a world where I’d ask my 18 year old to take on huge debt. I think you're a horrible parent.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 16:23     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
OP get details of the loan. When? For how much?
Do you think it went for your tuition? What was your understanding of how your college was paid for at the time?

If your name is not there as a borrower be careful. You don't want to assume liability for it.


Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 16:12     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
OP, did your mom actually spend the money from the parental loan on your college education? I would want to see documentation of that.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 16:00     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans.


That's your loan. Period.


Wrong. If op didn’t sign for it, it’s not their loan.


Contractually isn’t but don’t be silly, was got DD to go to college. It’s DD’s.


Nope. This is not OP's loan. OP's parents were at fault for having kids they could not afford. Kid did not ask to be born.

They could have sent OP to a cheaper college or had a very clear plan with OP about how the loan will be repayed. All of things evidently did not happen.

Usually, no child pays back their parents for their schooling, college etc.


I’m not sure what universe you live in, but this is the opposite of what usually happens. The OP benefited from this loan, and the mother has been a saint to pay the payments as a gift for this long. OP needs to be grateful and start paying in full, and consider paying her mother back for the money spent.



The parents dropped the ball on communication.

All of this nonsense could have been avoided if they had been upfront with OP from the moment she went to college.

There are people of different means on this board. Some people's kids will have to pay for the loans their parents took. But that should be communicated up front.

Sou ds like your parents had good intentions but bad follow through and bad financial know how.

Reset his as your mom approachs retirement and plan accordingly


DP, in theory I agree with you, but at this point, it’s insane for the mother to continue to pay for a loan that benefited OPs education directly. And the fact that she and her husband have no problem paying his student loan off.


OP has said she will pay the loan, but she has no clairvoyance to know that her mother took this loan and had been paying it all these years. If mom wanted to offload the loan, there were multiple spots she could have done this. OP graduating, getting married, etc.

She probably wanted to be the parent who "provided" for her kids, and struggled along until she couldn't any more.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 14:14     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:OMFG yes you pay for that.

My IL’s took out parent plus loans and he paid them back. I’ve also been present when one of his friends mentioned doing the same with their parents PP loans. You are the one that has benefitted from your education. Morally you should pay them back. But I would assume legally you don’t have to?
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 13:43     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:OP what if this wasn’t your school loan but your mother needed 1000 a month for medical bills? What would you do then?

Np. If this were the case, the mother should file for bankruptcy. I don’t know if that’s an option for Parent Plus loans, but OP should consider that. She should not take over payments for the loan her mother took out.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 13:42     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got a text from my mom out of the blue with the information to pay the remaining balance off of a loan she took out for my undergraduate education. Due to a divorce and bad financial decisions, she says that she can no longer pay it and now expects me to pay it since I’m starting a new job. I’m happy to help contribute but she expects me to pay starting next month and since she hasn’t made payments in a year - she’s not sure the full balance and says vaguely that she paid 1000k monthly at one point. I’m super upset that she sprung this up on me and she claims it’s always been the plan. Does anyone else think this is unreasonable? We have a decent HHI but two kids in daycare and my husband’s student loans.


That's your loan. Period.


Wrong. If op didn’t sign for it, it’s not their loan.


Contractually isn’t but don’t be silly, was got DD to go to college. It’s DD’s.


Nope. This is not OP's loan. OP's parents were at fault for having kids they could not afford. Kid did not ask to be born.

They could have sent OP to a cheaper college or had a very clear plan with OP about how the loan will be repayed. All of things evidently did not happen.

Usually, no child pays back their parents for their schooling, college etc.


I’m not sure what universe you live in, but this is the opposite of what usually happens. The OP benefited from this loan, and the mother has been a saint to pay the payments as a gift for this long. OP needs to be grateful and start paying in full, and consider paying her mother back for the money spent.



The parents dropped the ball on communication.

All of this nonsense could have been avoided if they had been upfront with OP from the moment she went to college.

There are people of different means on this board. Some people's kids will have to pay for the loans their parents took. But that should be communicated up front.

Sou ds like your parents had good intentions but bad follow through and bad financial know how.

Reset his as your mom approachs retirement and plan accordingly


DP, in theory I agree with you, but at this point, it’s insane for the mother to continue to pay for a loan that benefited OPs education directly. And the fact that she and her husband have no problem paying his student loan off.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 13:40     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
OP what if this wasn’t your school loan but your mother needed 1000 a month for medical bills? What would you do then?
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 13:21     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
* sorry cut off but I’m worried this is a sign of more to come.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2025 13:20     Subject: Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan
We paid off our PLUS loans without parent help and it meant that we couldn't afford to buy a home until our late 30s. You should meet with a financial advisor and figure out how to pay off your loan.