Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you can get on a plane and be there for any signficant events your family wants you there for and you won't haunt them when they don't want you...

Grandparents are aging and mine are about to age out of plane travel unfortunately. So, no. You can't always do this

As long as they don't try to be emotionally manipulative, it's fine... but if they're playing the guilt card about it...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

The PP may be a very useful person to have around in times of need. Your MIL is one person. Stop projecting.

If this thread doesn't apply to you—and the title of it makes it pretty clear who it is referring to—it sounds like you shouldn't worry. If, despite the subject line, you still want to insert yourself into this and feel somehow offended by it... you ARE the problem!

Oh dear. You do understand the internet, do you?

yeah... when you describe toxic behavior, it's really easy to out the trolls because they pop up to say that ACTUALLY grandparents are universally loved and should always have first priority when it comes to grandchildren.

if you don't have a problematic relationship with your children and grandkids, why do you care if others discuss how they do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.
I simply said, would you like me to come out and help with the baby and she said yeah can you come out for two weeks when I go back to work?

So I showed up for two weeks when she went back to work. I cleaned the house I made dinner. I helped at night with the baby. I got up in the morning since 6 am there is 9 o’clock here.

New are bizarrely angry at my post.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.

Call your therapist and up your meds.

Are you postpartum because you might have PPD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP where do you live and where do the grandparents live?

I grew up outside of NYC and my grandparents were in Wisconsin. I saw them all the time—one or two trips out there a year, one or two trips out to see us a year, occasional opportunities to see them somewhere inbetween. It's not hard if you care... they were there when it mattered and I never felt less loved—but I sure think of my moments with them as more special than my wife who grew up with her grandparents three houses away and subsequently knew all the horrible details of her grandmother's alcoholism and her grandfather's remarriage to a gold-digger with a sextoy fetish.

Distance makes the heart grow fond... I'd never live near my grandkids.

I lived a mile away from my furthest grandparent and while sure family can be messy, I have such fond memories of my childhood and being aroound my italian family. We had Sunday dinner every week, celebrated birthdays, attended recitals and games etc, etc. I knew all of my great aunts and uncles and I was super close to all of my cousins. I feel like that lifestyle has slipped away but I'm so grateful to have grown up that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you can get on a plane and be there for any signficant events your family wants you there for and you won't haunt them when they don't want you...

Grandparents are aging and mine are about to age out of plane travel unfortunately. So, no. You can't always do this

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP where do you live and where do the grandparents live?

I grew up outside of NYC and my grandparents were in Wisconsin. I saw them all the time—one or two trips out there a year, one or two trips out to see us a year, occasional opportunities to see them somewhere inbetween. It's not hard if you care... they were there when it mattered and I never felt less loved—but I sure think of my moments with them as more special than my wife who grew up with her grandparents three houses away and subsequently knew all the horrible details of her grandmother's alcoholism and her grandfather's remarriage to a gold-digger with a sextoy fetish.

Distance makes the heart grow fond... I'd never live near my grandkids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.
I simply said, would you like me to come out and help with the baby and she said yeah can you come out for two weeks when I go back to work?

So I showed up for two weeks when she went back to work. I cleaned the house I made dinner. I helped at night with the baby. I got up in the morning since 6 am there is 9 o’clock here.

New are bizarrely angry at my post.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.
I simply said, would you like me to come out and help with the baby and she said yeah can you come out for two weeks when I go back to work?

So I showed up for two weeks when she went back to work. I cleaned the house I made dinner. I helped at night with the baby. I got up in the morning since 6 am there is 9 o’clock here.

New are bizarrely angry at my post.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

The PP may be a very useful person to have around in times of need. Your MIL is one person. Stop projecting.

If this thread doesn't apply to you—and the title of it makes it pretty clear who it is referring to—it sounds like you shouldn't worry. If, despite the subject line, you still want to insert yourself into this and feel somehow offended by it... you ARE the problem!

Oh dear. You do understand the internet, do you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

The PP may be a very useful person to have around in times of need. Your MIL is one person. Stop projecting.

If this thread doesn't apply to you—and the title of it makes it pretty clear who it is referring to—it sounds like you shouldn't worry. If, despite the subject line, you still want to insert yourself into this and feel somehow offended by it... you ARE the problem!

Oh dear. You do understand the internet, do you?

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you can get on a plane and be there for any signficant events your family wants you there for and you won't haunt them when they don't want you...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.
I simply said, would you like me to come out and help with the baby and she said yeah can you come out for two weeks when I go back to work?

So I showed up for two weeks when she went back to work. I cleaned the house I made dinner. I helped at night with the baby. I got up in the morning since 6 am there is 9 o’clock here.

New are bizarrely angry at my post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

The PP may be a very useful person to have around in times of need. Your MIL is one person. Stop projecting.

If this thread doesn't apply to you—and the title of it makes it pretty clear who it is referring to—it sounds like you shouldn't worry. If, despite the subject line, you still want to insert yourself into this and feel somehow offended by it... you ARE the problem!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.

if you feel so confident that you're not one of the selfish manipulative overbearing grandparents... why are you here telling us all this? You sound like a real hero—keep up the good work.
I simply said, would you like me to come out and help with the baby and she said yeah can you come out for two weeks when I go back to work?

So I showed up for two weeks when she went back to work. I cleaned the house I made dinner. I helped at night with the baby. I got up in the morning since 6 am there is 9 o’clock here.

New are bizarrely angry at my post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to be at insignificant events too.

So, move near them? Or vent here, if moving isn't an option for you.

I have a condo near them.

I also flew to LA to help my niece with her new baby and I flew to Seattle to help my nephew during spring break since they had no care for that week.

But I’m privileged. I love the insignificant moments.

as someone whose MIL decided to come "help" with the new baby by inserting herself into the delivery room, complaining about having to take care of the other child, rearranged everything in the house to her own liking and then invited herself back to "help" with my wife's surgery, which entailed berating both of us (including my recovering wife) for not doing enough for her... probably not everyone thinks your "love for insignificant moments" is as charming as you do.

Ask if you're needed, accept the answer.