Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love everyone’s ideas! Just to be clear, I fully appreciate that folks are thinking about philanthropy - I actually happen to work in nonprofit and am also a donor (of my own funds) to various causes - but my relative did not wish for this particular inheritance to be used for such (he left a *lot* to his favorite philanthropies for those purposes). For the 5K/month to me (and yes, it’s indefinite), he truly just wanted me to spoil myself a little.

Again, I’m not looking for loopholes; however, I do think treating friends and family to some nice gifts/experiences is totally within the spirit of the bequest and so I have and will continue to do so.

I’m sure it was a well meaning sentiment but this is so wasteful and unrealistic. Sure the first few months would be fun but wasting 60K a year on things and stuff you neither really desire nor need is ridiculous.

That is your opinion. I wouldn't call spending $5K/month on self care "wasteful", especially since the OP said they can use it to treat friends/family as well.

Who wouldn't benefit from a massage every 1-2 weeks, same for their spouse, and being able to have a personal trainer or private pilates sessions weekly? Or increasing your personal house cleaning to every week (or more frequently than you currently have)? A dinner out with your family of 4 or with a few friends can easily run $300-500, so do that 2-3 times per month.

Self care is not "waste". The relative obviously wants the OP to treat themselves (which likely means they have spent most of their life focused on others and hasn't been treating themselves).

Buy Soccer Mommy cds and pay someone to give them away at grocery stores.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Handbags
Jewelry
A new car
Cosmetic procedures
Renovating my house

I could spend the first year's income in 20 minutes if you let me.

Unfortunately it’s just 5K to use or lose each month. Can’t aggregate for larger purchases, but something like a car lease (monthly payments) would work!

OK, DP, but I'm adding personal chef for daily meals & personal masseuse for weekly + massages and probably a trainer, too.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty specific hypothetical: you have an extra 5K/month that cannot be saved/invested/donated/etc., only spent on unnecessary indulgences for yourself. Travel aside, what do you buy simply for the joy of it?

JEWELRY!!!

Or, donations to animal shelters and/or the many other causes desperately in need.

Anonymous wrote:I might find some young stud and park him in a nice rental and use him at my convenience.

❤️

5 K is not much but I would use it for travel,
personal chef,
(already have a weekly maid),
gold jewellery,
massages,
eating out,
buy more organic foods,
gardener to take care of my food forest,
pay a professional organizer to declutter & minimize my stuff,
home improvements,

Treat family and friends to good food, theatre and concerts, spa days, travels and small luxuries.

Give my college going niece and nephew nice useful gifts every month.

donations in this situation. Even looking at it purely selfishly as seems the intent, donations often make the giver feel good!

Minor house renovations and upgrades
Yard and garden stuff
Vacations
Better wine
Dermatologist

Probably on health and fitness- Pilates studio classes, regular massage or facials, IV therapy, etc

Join a country club, take up art collecting, or travel to Europe and Asia for pop concerts. Concert tickets get expensive.

I'd collect. Something very specific. Like Gorham mixed metal silver.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP: I don't think you are a troll and I also don't think you are really getting 5K a month. I think you are a smutty book writer trying to plot fill. Amirite?

Truth is wilder than fiction. I’m not a writer, just a nonprofit exec whose family has money but who personally does not (relatively speaking). As mentioned previously, I’m very fortunate in that all my normal living expenses are covered, so this extra 5K/month is really just that - extra!

I think this is theoretically possible, like someone could set up a trust where distributions were only for this.

But I mean, realistically, who is going to agree to be the trustee of this? And even if this relative got a friend to do this, they’d probably just make OP read the trust agreement and say it’s for handbags or whatever and then just cut the checks.

OP if you’re the only beneficiary of this weird trust, and the trustee is not strangely and zealously invested in the terms, no one is ever going to look hard at this.

Who has the power to appoint the trustee?

You’re right, of course - no one is looking hard at my spend beyond the obvious (e.g. I’m not depositing it in a savings/ investment account or directly donating it, etc.). Honoring the spirit of my relative’s eccentric bequest is important to *me*.

I really don’t believe anyone is even looking at that. Because if the trustee is friends or family or you, who would care to enforce something like that. And I don’t think a professional trustee would take the job.

Is this a situation where the relative didn’t want a HEMS standard so they wrote in some extra stuff?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP: I don't think you are a troll and I also don't think you are really getting 5K a month. I think you are a smutty book writer trying to plot fill. Amirite?

Truth is wilder than fiction. I’m not a writer, just a nonprofit exec whose family has money but who personally does not (relatively speaking). As mentioned previously, I’m very fortunate in that all my normal living expenses are covered, so this extra 5K/month is really just that - extra!

I think this is theoretically possible, like someone could set up a trust where distributions were only for this.

But I mean, realistically, who is going to agree to be the trustee of this? And even if this relative got a friend to do this, they’d probably just make OP read the trust agreement and say it’s for handbags or whatever and then just cut the checks.

OP if you’re the only beneficiary of this weird trust, and the trustee is not strangely and zealously invested in the terms, no one is ever going to look hard at this.

Who has the power to appoint the trustee?

You’re right, of course - no one is looking hard at my spend beyond the obvious (e.g. I’m not depositing it in a savings/ investment account or directly donating it, etc.). Honoring the spirit of my relative’s eccentric bequest is important to *me*.

Spay/neuter charity where I pay people $50 to get their animals fixed. Ideally enough money to have it open more or less on demand.

And/or more help around the house and yard: weekly cleaning and yard tidying, monthly standing appointment for small home repairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP: I don't think you are a troll and I also don't think you are really getting 5K a month. I think you are a smutty book writer trying to plot fill. Amirite?

Truth is wilder than fiction. I’m not a writer, just a nonprofit exec whose family has money but who personally does not (relatively speaking). As mentioned previously, I’m very fortunate in that all my normal living expenses are covered, so this extra 5K/month is really just that - extra!

I think this is theoretically possible, like someone could set up a trust where distributions were only for this.

But I mean, realistically, who is going to agree to be the trustee of this? And even if this relative got a friend to do this, they’d probably just make OP read the trust agreement and say it’s for handbags or whatever and then just cut the checks.

OP if you’re the only beneficiary of this weird trust, and the trustee is not strangely and zealously invested in the terms, no one is ever going to look hard at this.

Who has the power to appoint the trustee?