Anonymous
05/29/2025 15:27
Subject: Three private school rejections
I was 16:45 thanks for the genuine answers to my question.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 11:44
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
Same.
Maybe you should listen to what people have posted here repeatedly. trust us, many of us here would LOVED to have been able to just thrown money at the problem and enrolled our kid in a great private school …
Anonymous
05/29/2025 11:36
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
Same.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 11:20
Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Have three neurodivergent kids at a mainstream private. Agree that they will take kids in younger years with ASD if they are a sibling or it’s undiagnosed (because of age).
My oldest has anxiety, ADHD, mild dyslexia, and likely ASD (therapist thinks they have it but we haven’t done a neuropsych). DC is in middle school and I know of at least one other child with ASD diagnosis, and at least 1/3 of kids get extra time on testing (for various reasons). My DC accepted in K when problems were much less clear, and their school has a strong sibling preference so my other kids accepted (the youngest with a diagnosis which needs a fair amount of support). To be clear, the expectation is that the school only provides scaffolding for social situations for my child - we are expected (and do) enroll and pay for all skills building/therapy outside of school. Right now DC is having small meltdowns regularly at school, and they get a quiet place to sit to calm themselves and teachers who care and check in with them. It’s worth it to us to pay for school because the adults do step in when DC gets overly upset and helps smooth things over with classmates, and DC is generally very try happy. But I talked with DC’s teacher recently and they see DC’s behaviors as extreme compared with their peers.
My experience is my kids’ private school does a pretty good job with HFA kids and supporting them (as well as other diagnoses) but in the older grades admissions is likely looking at the kids who are already there and judging the school’s capacity to support more kids. It’s totally reasonable (if not fair) to not admit kids when they are already at capacity with existing students.
FWIW, I have only seen two kids get counseled out. In one case it was after a disastrous K year - even at the end of the year the child was having daily meltdowns and couldn’t participate in the class. In the other it took four years of poor behavior, including almost daily screaming at teachers and classmates. The school gives kids a good chance to try to make things work.
Can you share the name of the school please?
Anonymous
05/29/2025 10:55
Subject: Three private school rejections
Run from Field. They have underqualified counselors and complete ignorance regarding autism. Didn't even know what stimming was when we had an issue with it there..
Anonymous
05/29/2025 09:03
Subject: Re:Three private school rejections
Have three neurodivergent kids at a mainstream private. Agree that they will take kids in younger years with ASD if they are a sibling or it’s undiagnosed (because of age).
My oldest has anxiety, ADHD, mild dyslexia, and likely ASD (therapist thinks they have it but we haven’t done a neuropsych). DC is in middle school and I know of at least one other child with ASD diagnosis, and at least 1/3 of kids get extra time on testing (for various reasons). My DC accepted in K when problems were much less clear, and their school has a strong sibling preference so my other kids accepted (the youngest with a diagnosis which needs a fair amount of support). To be clear, the expectation is that the school only provides scaffolding for social situations for my child - we are expected (and do) enroll and pay for all skills building/therapy outside of school. Right now DC is having small meltdowns regularly at school, and they get a quiet place to sit to calm themselves and teachers who care and check in with them. It’s worth it to us to pay for school because the adults do step in when DC gets overly upset and helps smooth things over with classmates, and DC is generally very try happy. But I talked with DC’s teacher recently and they see DC’s behaviors as extreme compared with their peers.
My experience is my kids’ private school does a pretty good job with HFA kids and supporting them (as well as other diagnoses) but in the older grades admissions is likely looking at the kids who are already there and judging the school’s capacity to support more kids. It’s totally reasonable (if not fair) to not admit kids when they are already at capacity with existing students.
FWIW, I have only seen two kids get counseled out. In one case it was after a disastrous K year - even at the end of the year the child was having daily meltdowns and couldn’t participate in the class. In the other it took four years of poor behavior, including almost daily screaming at teachers and classmates. The school gives kids a good chance to try to make things work.
My oldest has anxiety, ADHD, mild dyslexia, and likely ASD (therapist thinks they have it but we haven’t done a neuropsych). DC is in middle school and I know of at least one other child with ASD diagnosis, and at least 1/3 of kids get extra time on testing (for various reasons). My DC accepted in K when problems were much less clear, and their school has a strong sibling preference so my other kids accepted (the youngest with a diagnosis which needs a fair amount of support). To be clear, the expectation is that the school only provides scaffolding for social situations for my child - we are expected (and do) enroll and pay for all skills building/therapy outside of school. Right now DC is having small meltdowns regularly at school, and they get a quiet place to sit to calm themselves and teachers who care and check in with them. It’s worth it to us to pay for school because the adults do step in when DC gets overly upset and helps smooth things over with classmates, and DC is generally very try happy. But I talked with DC’s teacher recently and they see DC’s behaviors as extreme compared with their peers.
My experience is my kids’ private school does a pretty good job with HFA kids and supporting them (as well as other diagnoses) but in the older grades admissions is likely looking at the kids who are already there and judging the school’s capacity to support more kids. It’s totally reasonable (if not fair) to not admit kids when they are already at capacity with existing students.
FWIW, I have only seen two kids get counseled out. In one case it was after a disastrous K year - even at the end of the year the child was having daily meltdowns and couldn’t participate in the class. In the other it took four years of poor behavior, including almost daily screaming at teachers and classmates. The school gives kids a good chance to try to make things work.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 08:31
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
Because they got in before they were diagnosed and then were deemed not to be too problematic. Otherwise they would have been counseled out. I say this as a parent of an ASD kid who has also worked in multiple independent schools that have some ASD children. It is a completely different thing to get a diagnosis AFTER you’re already part of a school community, rather than to go through the admissions process with that diagnosis.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 07:40
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
You are either very thick or a troll. That’s probably why you don’t get it?
Not a troll I’ve really seen it.
As someone who’s also seen it, those kids are very HFA more than likely that’s why it’s uncommon. They’re the exception not the rule, hope that answers your question.
Even my kid with very HFA likely would not get into any mainstream private except perhaps the very most progressive (which I would not want him to attend anyway). He has had behavior issues at school in the past (gone now) and presents as autistic (stims, monotone). They do not accept kids like that even when, as for my kid, they can do the academic work and even participate socially well.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 07:37
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
Because they have minimal ASD or “ASD.”
Anonymous
05/29/2025 07:36
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
You mean mainstream privates? most kids with autism won’t even get accepted. The SN privates also reject kids with autism and sometimes even have policies against accepting them.
Anonymous
05/29/2025 07:35
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Progressive schools can be a terrible option for autistic kids because oftimes e.g. the rules are unstated, and this... does not mix well with how they usually process information, there's typically more group work, a tendency for more chaotically run classrooms (workshop model vs lecture or even Socratic results in multiple things going on), less likely to have rituals, etc. Count your blessings, and find something more traditional.
+1. our public elementary operated in a progressive way and attracted “progressive” teachers and was often a disaster. transition to a DCPS middle school was a huge improvement albeit not without bumps. Much better to have structured classrooms with teachers and admins who believe their role includes keeping order. I will say though that the group work has been good for my kiddo because it gives a structured opportunity to socialize- but it tends to be structured and with clear goals.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 22:31
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
You are either very thick or a troll. That’s probably why you don’t get it?
Not a troll I’ve really seen it.
As someone who’s also seen it, those kids are very HFA more than likely that’s why it’s uncommon. They’re the exception not the rule, hope that answers your question.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 22:28
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
You are either very thick or a troll. That’s probably why you don’t get it?
Not a troll I’ve really seen it.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 22:07
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.
The reality is that very few children with ASD thrive in a mainstream private setting with little or no support.
Private schools promise a lot and deliver very little. They accept students knowing they have ASD only to counsel them out and as soon as they show autistic symptoms.
If a child with asd could be symptoms free all the time they wouldn’t be autistic to begin with.
Can you understand now why we are so angry?
Then why do I know people with asd kids in the dc area, and outside of it, who have had kids go to private schools k-12? Again really wondering.
You are either very thick or a troll. That’s probably why you don’t get it?
Anonymous
05/28/2025 20:34
Subject: Three private school rejections
Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your resistance to public? IT seems like multiple people are telling you how the privates may not be ideal.
OP here. As I stated above, we are now focused on the transition to Deal and would even consider MCPS. So no resistance per se. We are just doing our due diligence because we are concerned with the size of the school and bullying.