Anonymous wrote:We all wanted a dog and we finally got one. It was the worse decision of my life. Why do people have dogs as pets? She is very…. Pointless? She just walks around and follows me all the damn time. I have to plan my entire day around her shitting, peeing, etc. I feel like a slave to this animal. I planned on calling off work tomorrow. I need a break! However, the thought of being home with this dog all day, after the weekend, is a no go. The family helps but I am her go to person. She is 9 months. Does it get better? Doggy daycare needed? Longer walks so she leaves me the hell alone after? She isn’t even a hyper dog. She is just always freaking there. I would much rather have 5 more kids to one dog. How do I try to like my dog? It’s been two months and I just view her as annoying. I am ok with you telling me I am a harsh person if I am but please also tell me what I can do to help her and me.

Anonymous wrote:We all wanted a dog and we finally got one. It was the worse decision of my life. Why do people have dogs as pets? She is very…. Pointless? She just walks around and follows me all the damn time. I have to plan my entire day around her shitting, peeing, etc. I feel like a slave to this animal. I planned on calling off work tomorrow. I need a break! However, the thought of being home with this dog all day, after the weekend, is a no go. The family helps but I am her go to person. She is 9 months. Does it get better? Doggy daycare needed? Longer walks so she leaves me the hell alone after? She isn’t even a hyper dog. She is just always freaking there. I would much rather have 5 more kids to one dog. How do I try to like my dog? It’s been two months and I just view her as annoying. I am ok with you telling me I am a harsh person if I am but please also tell me what I can do to help her and me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only is the dog still a puppy but OP is heading toward dog teenager stage which may get more challenging. I agree that lack of warmth may be causing additional bonding issues and making dog more desperate for OPs approval. Dogs love to make their people happy. Fake it until you make it, OP. And work with a trainer. Has the rest of your family fallen in love with the dog?

OP here. I completely respect your perspective and I agree with you, she may sense it. I feel bad about it, I do. I will fake it as you said and will do things to bond with her more. The rest of the family loves her. We all do! Honestly, she is a great dog. i think I have the hardest time because I do the most with her. People have warned me about the teenage years, which is why I am trying to get everything correct now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Animal biologist here. It seems you got a pet without having any interest in learning about the psychology of the species you were taking in. This is necessary if you are planning to live indoors with any other animal, including your own human family.

Peeing indoors is never acceptable, not even for puppies. When she has an accident inside, you raise your voice and do your best to have a very displeased tone. Dogs are very sensitive to tone, but don't have good memories, so you need to catch her in the act, or a few seconds after. That's when she'll make the connection between your anger and her peeing on the floor. You also need to use enzymatic cleaner on all the spots she's peed to get rid of the remaining molecules, otherwise she might believe it's OK to pee there.

The dog should not be so anxious and/or excited when it meets strangers. You need to train her to greet more strangers, outside, and reward her on the spot when she doesn't pee. In the meantime, if someone she doesn't know is planning to visit, they need to meet the dog outside first, to avoid her peeing indoors. You can wait for your guest outside, encourage her to pee before they arrive, then have the meet-and-greet outside before coming in. Reward her every time she meets someone without peeing. If that works (she doesn't pee for about 5-10 meetings in a row), you can give her a potty break before they come, bring her in, then ask that they come in very quietly, and you reward her for a well-behaved greeting. If that's successful, try an indoor meeting without a prior potty break.

As you can see, training a dog means immediate negative feedback when they do wrong, but gradual adjustments to the ultimate correct behavior, with lots of rewards along the way for incremental progress. Your goal is to always put them in a position to succeed, because timely food reinforcement is an extremely powerful tool.

I can't help you with your annoyance that she's always "there" - you can just ignore her, OP. But is there anything else that you think is not normal and that you need help with?

OP here. OMG, can you come to my house? Do you have a company you recommend to help train or learn about her? This has been amazing. I will admit that we do not have her around many other animals or people and I have no clue what her life was like before we got her from the shelter. She does this thing though, which I would love your input about. When she meets other dogs on a walk, she lays down, her ears are back, tail tucked and she just lays on her back. Is she scared? I mean, obviously, but what should I do? If they are not near her, say like across the street, then she growls and barks. I do have the enzyme spray. Your idea about having guests meet her outside is something I never even thought of, so thank you. I guess I feel bad for just ignoring.

Ha. Thank you, PP. No pet business, I'm a research scientist. Your dog lies down and presents her belly as the ultimate sign of submission, which is on par with the peeing when she meets strange humans at home. You can use a gentle soothing voice and caress her when she lies down like that (no treats). She has a submissive personality, which in itself is fine, but the barking and growling is an aggressive response that also originates from fear. You need to keep an eye on that, because she's still a puppy, and might develop more aggression as she matures into dog teenage-hood. She badly needs to socialize with an older, calm, well-mannered dog, one on one. Ideally, they would go for walks together regularly. Do you know of any? That will work wonders. Right now she sees the entire world as a threat. If you don't take steps now to show her that dogs and humans can be safe, she might grow up to be permanently clingy, develop destructive behaviors when left to her own devices (like bark incessantly or chew up your stuff), or become more aggressive.

I hesitate to recommend a puppy socialization class or doggy daycare, because the classes are full of poorly trained dogs, and the daycare will be entirely overwhelming to her in her current state. No dog parks either. Maybe you could ask around if any dog training operation works with a trained dog as "mentor" to the dog students. If you don't know of friends with really calm dogs, then maybe you could pay someone to borrow their super chill dog regularly.

OP again. Geez, you are amazing. I just signed her up for doggy daycare thinking that will help but I will NOT do it. I do have a family member that has a dog that is so calm but it is a large breed (a doberman). She was terrified or submissive to a small yorkie. Would the doberman be ok? He is very chill and calm. She does seem submissive. I was on the phone and took my eye off of her for one minute and she pooped on the floor. I could not raise my voice because I was on an important call but she knew it was wrong and walked right to her crate. She never willingly goes to her crate. As if she put herself in time out. It was my fault she pooped on the floor, I should have had her near me or had her go to the bathroom before I got on the phone. Would someone coming to the house to train her be ok? I just want her trained for safety reasons, nothing major.

PP you replied to. The size of the dog doesn't matter as much as the signals and the hormones that exude from them. We have difficulty sensing them, but they're obvious to other dogs. So if you're convinced that the Doberman is calm, even on walks when he encounters other dogs, she will benefit from his presence. It will be difficult for her at first: she will display her belly repeatedly (which is fine), or she might pee, back away or growl. The best introduction is always on neutral territory, never one of the dog's houses, and the best activity is a walk in common: have them sniff each other then go for a nice long walk. That way, they have other distractions and don't hyperfocus on each other. Once she starts feeling a little more comfortable with this dog, you can invite the dog into your house, and then, ideally, he could stay for playdates regularly, and be there when someone she doesn't know enters your house. It will be interesting to see whether she pees in that situation or not (sorry, I'm always thinking in terms of experiments).

And if you can think of any other dog she might safely learn manners from, please do the same with them too.

Has she been in a thunderstorm or heard fireworks with you yet? You might want to prepare for a total meltdown when that happens. There are compression jackets for dogs that apparently reassure them when such events happen, but I have firsthand experience. If you know you're going to get a thunderstorm or fireworks near you, please do the potty break before and then keep her inside. Dogs are known to bolt when they panic.

Anonymous wrote:Not only is the dog still a puppy but OP is heading toward dog teenager stage which may get more challenging. I agree that lack of warmth may be causing additional bonding issues and making dog more desperate for OPs approval. Dogs love to make their people happy. Fake it until you make it, OP. And work with a trainer. Has the rest of your family fallen in love with the dog?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Animal biologist here. It seems you got a pet without having any interest in learning about the psychology of the species you were taking in. This is necessary if you are planning to live indoors with any other animal, including your own human family.

Peeing indoors is never acceptable, not even for puppies. When she has an accident inside, you raise your voice and do your best to have a very displeased tone. Dogs are very sensitive to tone, but don't have good memories, so you need to catch her in the act, or a few seconds after. That's when she'll make the connection between your anger and her peeing on the floor. You also need to use enzymatic cleaner on all the spots she's peed to get rid of the remaining molecules, otherwise she might believe it's OK to pee there.

The dog should not be so anxious and/or excited when it meets strangers. You need to train her to greet more strangers, outside, and reward her on the spot when she doesn't pee. In the meantime, if someone she doesn't know is planning to visit, they need to meet the dog outside first, to avoid her peeing indoors. You can wait for your guest outside, encourage her to pee before they arrive, then have the meet-and-greet outside before coming in. Reward her every time she meets someone without peeing. If that works (she doesn't pee for about 5-10 meetings in a row), you can give her a potty break before they come, bring her in, then ask that they come in very quietly, and you reward her for a well-behaved greeting. If that's successful, try an indoor meeting without a prior potty break.

As you can see, training a dog means immediate negative feedback when they do wrong, but gradual adjustments to the ultimate correct behavior, with lots of rewards along the way for incremental progress. Your goal is to always put them in a position to succeed, because timely food reinforcement is an extremely powerful tool.

I can't help you with your annoyance that she's always "there" - you can just ignore her, OP. But is there anything else that you think is not normal and that you need help with?

OP here. OMG, can you come to my house? Do you have a company you recommend to help train or learn about her? This has been amazing. I will admit that we do not have her around many other animals or people and I have no clue what her life was like before we got her from the shelter. She does this thing though, which I would love your input about. When she meets other dogs on a walk, she lays down, her ears are back, tail tucked and she just lays on her back. Is she scared? I mean, obviously, but what should I do? If they are not near her, say like across the street, then she growls and barks. I do have the enzyme spray. Your idea about having guests meet her outside is something I never even thought of, so thank you. I guess I feel bad for just ignoring.

Ha. Thank you, PP. No pet business, I'm a research scientist. Your dog lies down and presents her belly as the ultimate sign of submission, which is on par with the peeing when she meets strange humans at home. You can use a gentle soothing voice and caress her when she lies down like that (no treats). She has a submissive personality, which in itself is fine, but the barking and growling is an aggressive response that also originates from fear. You need to keep an eye on that, because she's still a puppy, and might develop more aggression as she matures into dog teenage-hood. She badly needs to socialize with an older, calm, well-mannered dog, one on one. Ideally, they would go for walks together regularly. Do you know of any? That will work wonders. Right now she sees the entire world as a threat. If you don't take steps now to show her that dogs and humans can be safe, she might grow up to be permanently clingy, develop destructive behaviors when left to her own devices (like bark incessantly or chew up your stuff), or become more aggressive.

I hesitate to recommend a puppy socialization class or doggy daycare, because the classes are full of poorly trained dogs, and the daycare will be entirely overwhelming to her in her current state. No dog parks either. Maybe you could ask around if any dog training operation works with a trained dog as "mentor" to the dog students. If you don't know of friends with really calm dogs, then maybe you could pay someone to borrow their super chill dog regularly.

OP again. Geez, you are amazing. I just signed her up for doggy daycare thinking that will help but I will NOT do it. I do have a family member that has a dog that is so calm but it is a large breed (a doberman). She was terrified or submissive to a small yorkie. Would the doberman be ok? He is very chill and calm. She does seem submissive. I was on the phone and took my eye off of her for one minute and she pooped on the floor. I could not raise my voice because I was on an important call but she knew it was wrong and walked right to her crate. She never willingly goes to her crate. As if she put herself in time out. It was my fault she pooped on the floor, I should have had her near me or had her go to the bathroom before I got on the phone. Would someone coming to the house to train her be ok? I just want her trained for safety reasons, nothing major.

I'm not the PP, I'm the one who just recommend Paw Mind Body. Ask the Dobies owner what he/she thinks. They know their dog. Mine are Rotties and they are actually very good with other dogs. I've had friends bring puppies over to socialize with them, even much smaller dogs. They tend to know how to behave and one-on-one with a calm dog would be much better. Off leash in a neutral area is best if possible.

NEVER a dog park. It's the worst place to take your dog, especially a fearful one.

OP here. Got it, thank you! I will ask. No dog park either. I figured a neutral area is best so neither one feels territorial.

Exactly. That's why off leash is often better too, nobody feels like they need to protect "mom". Mine are in a very different mode when they're on leash vs off leash, the Dobie might be the same.

OP here. Thank you! Any signs I should look for in her when they do meet in which I need to look out for? Like when should I interfere and say this is not working right now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Animal biologist here. It seems you got a pet without having any interest in learning about the psychology of the species you were taking in. This is necessary if you are planning to live indoors with any other animal, including your own human family.

Peeing indoors is never acceptable, not even for puppies. When she has an accident inside, you raise your voice and do your best to have a very displeased tone. Dogs are very sensitive to tone, but don't have good memories, so you need to catch her in the act, or a few seconds after. That's when she'll make the connection between your anger and her peeing on the floor. You also need to use enzymatic cleaner on all the spots she's peed to get rid of the remaining molecules, otherwise she might believe it's OK to pee there.

The dog should not be so anxious and/or excited when it meets strangers. You need to train her to greet more strangers, outside, and reward her on the spot when she doesn't pee. In the meantime, if someone she doesn't know is planning to visit, they need to meet the dog outside first, to avoid her peeing indoors. You can wait for your guest outside, encourage her to pee before they arrive, then have the meet-and-greet outside before coming in. Reward her every time she meets someone without peeing. If that works (she doesn't pee for about 5-10 meetings in a row), you can give her a potty break before they come, bring her in, then ask that they come in very quietly, and you reward her for a well-behaved greeting. If that's successful, try an indoor meeting without a prior potty break.

As you can see, training a dog means immediate negative feedback when they do wrong, but gradual adjustments to the ultimate correct behavior, with lots of rewards along the way for incremental progress. Your goal is to always put them in a position to succeed, because timely food reinforcement is an extremely powerful tool.

I can't help you with your annoyance that she's always "there" - you can just ignore her, OP. But is there anything else that you think is not normal and that you need help with?

OP here. OMG, can you come to my house? Do you have a company you recommend to help train or learn about her? This has been amazing. I will admit that we do not have her around many other animals or people and I have no clue what her life was like before we got her from the shelter. She does this thing though, which I would love your input about. When she meets other dogs on a walk, she lays down, her ears are back, tail tucked and she just lays on her back. Is she scared? I mean, obviously, but what should I do? If they are not near her, say like across the street, then she growls and barks. I do have the enzyme spray. Your idea about having guests meet her outside is something I never even thought of, so thank you. I guess I feel bad for just ignoring.

Ha. Thank you, PP. No pet business, I'm a research scientist. Your dog lies down and presents her belly as the ultimate sign of submission, which is on par with the peeing when she meets strange humans at home. You can use a gentle soothing voice and caress her when she lies down like that (no treats). She has a submissive personality, which in itself is fine, but the barking and growling is an aggressive response that also originates from fear. You need to keep an eye on that, because she's still a puppy, and might develop more aggression as she matures into dog teenage-hood. She badly needs to socialize with an older, calm, well-mannered dog, one on one. Ideally, they would go for walks together regularly. Do you know of any? That will work wonders. Right now she sees the entire world as a threat. If you don't take steps now to show her that dogs and humans can be safe, she might grow up to be permanently clingy, develop destructive behaviors when left to her own devices (like bark incessantly or chew up your stuff), or become more aggressive.

I hesitate to recommend a puppy socialization class or doggy daycare, because the classes are full of poorly trained dogs, and the daycare will be entirely overwhelming to her in her current state. No dog parks either. Maybe you could ask around if any dog training operation works with a trained dog as "mentor" to the dog students. If you don't know of friends with really calm dogs, then maybe you could pay someone to borrow their super chill dog regularly.

OP again. Geez, you are amazing. I just signed her up for doggy daycare thinking that will help but I will NOT do it. I do have a family member that has a dog that is so calm but it is a large breed (a doberman). She was terrified or submissive to a small yorkie. Would the doberman be ok? He is very chill and calm. She does seem submissive. I was on the phone and took my eye off of her for one minute and she pooped on the floor. I could not raise my voice because I was on an important call but she knew it was wrong and walked right to her crate. She never willingly goes to her crate. As if she put herself in time out. It was my fault she pooped on the floor, I should have had her near me or had her go to the bathroom before I got on the phone. Would someone coming to the house to train her be ok? I just want her trained for safety reasons, nothing major.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Animal biologist here. It seems you got a pet without having any interest in learning about the psychology of the species you were taking in. This is necessary if you are planning to live indoors with any other animal, including your own human family.

Peeing indoors is never acceptable, not even for puppies. When she has an accident inside, you raise your voice and do your best to have a very displeased tone. Dogs are very sensitive to tone, but don't have good memories, so you need to catch her in the act, or a few seconds after. That's when she'll make the connection between your anger and her peeing on the floor. You also need to use enzymatic cleaner on all the spots she's peed to get rid of the remaining molecules, otherwise she might believe it's OK to pee there.

The dog should not be so anxious and/or excited when it meets strangers. You need to train her to greet more strangers, outside, and reward her on the spot when she doesn't pee. In the meantime, if someone she doesn't know is planning to visit, they need to meet the dog outside first, to avoid her peeing indoors. You can wait for your guest outside, encourage her to pee before they arrive, then have the meet-and-greet outside before coming in. Reward her every time she meets someone without peeing. If that works (she doesn't pee for about 5-10 meetings in a row), you can give her a potty break before they come, bring her in, then ask that they come in very quietly, and you reward her for a well-behaved greeting. If that's successful, try an indoor meeting without a prior potty break.

As you can see, training a dog means immediate negative feedback when they do wrong, but gradual adjustments to the ultimate correct behavior, with lots of rewards along the way for incremental progress. Your goal is to always put them in a position to succeed, because timely food reinforcement is an extremely powerful tool.

I can't help you with your annoyance that she's always "there" - you can just ignore her, OP. But is there anything else that you think is not normal and that you need help with?

OP here. OMG, can you come to my house? Do you have a company you recommend to help train or learn about her? This has been amazing. I will admit that we do not have her around many other animals or people and I have no clue what her life was like before we got her from the shelter. She does this thing though, which I would love your input about. When she meets other dogs on a walk, she lays down, her ears are back, tail tucked and she just lays on her back. Is she scared? I mean, obviously, but what should I do? If they are not near her, say like across the street, then she growls and barks. I do have the enzyme spray. Your idea about having guests meet her outside is something I never even thought of, so thank you. I guess I feel bad for just ignoring.

Ha. Thank you, PP. No pet business, I'm a research scientist. Your dog lies down and presents her belly as the ultimate sign of submission, which is on par with the peeing when she meets strange humans at home. You can use a gentle soothing voice and caress her when she lies down like that (no treats). She has a submissive personality, which in itself is fine, but the barking and growling is an aggressive response that also originates from fear. You need to keep an eye on that, because she's still a puppy, and might develop more aggression as she matures into dog teenage-hood. She badly needs to socialize with an older, calm, well-mannered dog, one on one. Ideally, they would go for walks together regularly. Do you know of any? That will work wonders. Right now she sees the entire world as a threat. If you don't take steps now to show her that dogs and humans can be safe, she might grow up to be permanently clingy, develop destructive behaviors when left to her own devices (like bark incessantly or chew up your stuff), or become more aggressive.

I hesitate to recommend a puppy socialization class or doggy daycare, because the classes are full of poorly trained dogs, and the daycare will be entirely overwhelming to her in her current state. No dog parks either. Maybe you could ask around if any dog training operation works with a trained dog as "mentor" to the dog students. If you don't know of friends with really calm dogs, then maybe you could pay someone to borrow their super chill dog regularly.

OP again. Geez, you are amazing. I just signed her up for doggy daycare thinking that will help but I will NOT do it. I do have a family member that has a dog that is so calm but it is a large breed (a doberman). She was terrified or submissive to a small yorkie. Would the doberman be ok? He is very chill and calm. She does seem submissive. I was on the phone and took my eye off of her for one minute and she pooped on the floor. I could not raise my voice because I was on an important call but she knew it was wrong and walked right to her crate. She never willingly goes to her crate. As if she put herself in time out. It was my fault she pooped on the floor, I should have had her near me or had her go to the bathroom before I got on the phone. Would someone coming to the house to train her be ok? I just want her trained for safety reasons, nothing major.

Anonymous wrote:PP here- the mixed breed (hybrid vigor) + the fresh food = no vet bills (just the annual check up to get the tick meds b/c he did get lime once)

Anonymous wrote:Also, GL. It will get better. You might never come to enjoy dogs the way some of us do, and that's ok too. You'll learn more about dogs and how to train them and what to expect, and that will make things easier and more enjoyable.

Not everyone wants 200+ lbs of dog within 3ft of them all day long.


(That's why they're trained to stay downstairs. To get away!) On a more serious note, maybe that would work for you as well. Start teaching your dog what's off limits, and if you have multiple levels in your house, maybe you want the top floor to be your dog-free zone. Then you only have to deal with them dog sitting at the bottom of the steps waiting for your return.

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to research breeds before choosing one. Many breeds follow you around like shadows and others are more independent and will leave you alone. I personally like the ones who are with me nonstop. I have a 9lb dog who follows me everywhere.

sorry OP. I think if you could get the dog to attach more to your kids or spouse it would get easier.