Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should force you to have sex. Your husband isn’t entitled to your body because he’s nice to you. Parenting his own kids isn’t going above and beyond. He’s a jerk.

Not exactly a jerk. He’s communicating his relational needs like an adult rather than staying silent and resentful, and then eventually getting sex elsewhere.

Like an adult? Uh, no, he sounds like a pimp. But, no, not an adult.

Really?

Tell us: how does it sound when a wife/mother expresses to her husband that her sexual needs are not being met, and the man needs to put out more?

Is she a pimp too?

If a woman came her complaining her husband didn't give her sex 4x a week when he was 3 months out of a major medical incident and saying "I pay for his stuff so he owes me more sex", yes, she'd be raked over the coals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should force you to have sex. Your husband isn’t entitled to your body because he’s nice to you. Parenting his own kids isn’t going above and beyond. He’s a jerk.

Not exactly a jerk. He’s communicating his relational needs like an adult rather than staying silent and resentful, and then eventually getting sex elsewhere.

Like an adult? Uh, no, he sounds like a pimp. But, no, not an adult.

Really?

Tell us: how does it sound when a wife/mother expresses to her husband that her sexual needs are not being met, and the man needs to put out more?

Is she a pimp too?

Are the posters here missing that this woman is 3.5 months out from giving birth? The fact that this guy is getting sex 2x a week already is unusual.

I feel like there are other issues going on here.

I think sex is probably just what you are using to express different needs. He’s unhappy and that’s something easy. He can point too. But something else is going on. I refuse to believe if you were actually having sex 2 to 3 times a week which sounds like you are, and if you up to 4 to 5 or 6 times a week all your marriage problems would clear up.

He’s trying to gain more control in the relationship or he’s having trouble adapting to fatherhood or something but don’t think it’s a matter of just more sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So why aren’t you having sex w your husband?
May want to have a convo with him on what the issues are..

I’m tired and don’t want nightly sex. I feel the max I can have is twice a week. He wants at least 4 times a week. That’s hard for most women.

Most women don't have 24/7 childcare help and spa days

Your kids are young but tha'ts suspicious as you only mentioned it when people were laying into you. Final verdict: troll

I don’t have 24/7 childcare. We had a night nanny 3x a week during the first 3 months. We have a par time nanny come 3x a week for 5 hours a day to help with older child.

The spa day isn’t always. He bought me two spa days so far.

I didn’t think age of kids was super relevant.

Mother of two here -
I think you are super pampered.

SO pampered! A night nanny for 3 months and 15 hours of help every week!

Who cares if op is pampered?

You have a 3.5 month old? Your husband is being a selfish ass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's such a circular argument. He demands, she withholds because he's demanding, he demands more, she withholds more...

Y'all need to learn to compromise. He doesn't get it every day, you pick up an extra shift laying back and thinking of England. It's not that complicated.

I don’t withhold because he asks for sex. I just don’t have sex every time he asks because I don’t want it. We are still having sex twice a week and usually one more that includes service for just him. I think that’s reasonable when you have a 3.5 month old and an almost 2 year old.

Great context. It will pick up again. He next to be patient.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So why aren’t you having sex w your husband?
May want to have a convo with him on what the issues are..

I’m tired and don’t want nightly sex. I feel the max I can have is twice a week. He wants at least 4 times a week. That’s hard for most women.

Most women don't have 24/7 childcare help and spa days

Your kids are young but tha'ts suspicious as you only mentioned it when people were laying into you. Final verdict: troll

I don’t have 24/7 childcare. We had a night nanny 3x a week during the first 3 months. We have a par time nanny come 3x a week for 5 hours a day to help with older child.

The spa day isn’t always. He bought me two spa days so far.

I didn’t think age of kids was super relevant.

Mother of two here -
I think you are super pampered.

SO pampered! A night nanny for 3 months and 15 hours of help every week!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's such a circular argument. He demands, she withholds because he's demanding, he demands more, she withholds more...

Y'all need to learn to compromise. He doesn't get it every day, you pick up an extra shift laying back and thinking of England. It's not that complicated.

I don’t withhold because he asks for sex. I just don’t have sex every time he asks because I don’t want it. We are still having sex twice a week and usually one more that includes service for just him. I think that’s reasonable when you have a 3.5 month old and an almost 2 year old.

Hall pass ? Until things calm down.

Your ok with him breaking his vows to forsake all others?

Anonymous wrote:He’s gonna get it somewhere else…

That would be a gift, I suspect.

He’s gonna get it somewhere else…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I'd have no problem with this.

Nightly sex is a lot for me right now. We are having sex twice a week. He wants it daily or at least 4 times a week.

I have a lot of help but it’s still tiring when you’re a mom to two young active kids.

Why is sex so tiring? It's not like you're being asked to run a 5k or work out. It's 6 minutes of light physical activity on average. Why are you making it sound like such a big deal.

oh wow, I can’t wait for backlash on this one. Don’t confuse us with facts, 6 minutes, does that include foreplay

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's such a circular argument. He demands, she withholds because he's demanding, he demands more, she withholds more...

Y'all need to learn to compromise. He doesn't get it every day, you pick up an extra shift laying back and thinking of England. It's not that complicated.

I don’t withhold because he asks for sex. I just don’t have sex every time he asks because I don’t want it. We are still having sex twice a week and usually one more that includes service for just him. I think that’s reasonable when you have a 3.5 month old and an almost 2 year old.

Hall pass ? Until things calm down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should force you to have sex. Your husband isn’t entitled to your body because he’s nice to you. Parenting his own kids isn’t going above and beyond. He’s a jerk.

Not exactly a jerk. He’s communicating his relational needs like an adult rather than staying silent and resentful, and then eventually getting sex elsewhere.

Like an adult? Uh, no, he sounds like a pimp. But, no, not an adult.

Anonymous wrote:Dh told me he expects sex from me because he gives me a comfortable life.

Best way to ensure he won't be getting any going forward. Oh well. Yeah, he's missed the whole point.