Anonymous
Post 03/24/2025 10:39     Subject: Re:Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
I have not read any of the replies, but I don't know what's crazier, that OP has to crowdsource how to [checks notes] eat at a restaurant, or that she's apparently never heard of a book.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2025 10:18     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.


A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.


Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...


This!

I love eating out alone. But I enjoy doing almost anything alone except going dancing…(trying to think of something else). Sometimes I’m chatty, sometimes not. Book/kindle/phone - rarely TV - either one in the restaurant or on my phone.

Now - I DO notice other people eating alone, but it’s not judgy at all.

I was somewhat nervous when I ate dinner alone at a “nice” restaurant when I was in San Francisco as a senior in college (visiting to look at grad schools and had a free day or two). I read (pre smart anything) I remember seeing another woman who looked a bit older than me eating alone and that reassured me/made me feel so much less awkward. And then I ran into her on some tour the next day and we spent the rest of the day doing touristy stuff together!
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2025 10:12     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.


A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.


Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...


Sorry, I'm just fascinated by how to kill time before being served your food. And I guess while eating too. That's why I assume I'd just quickly hoover up my food, because what else can you do to kill time when you're not talking to anyone.


You don't have to "kill time." Just be alone with yourself and your thoughts for some peace. Part of the joy of work travel is that you can do whatever you want for meals, etc. Enjoy the alone time and don't feel compelled to stimulate yourself constantly. Just try enjoying the atmosphere of wherever you are because presumably it's not a place near where you live. If you must, bring a book or sure look at your phone.
Anonymous
Post 03/24/2025 09:50     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are really putting out center-of-the-universe vibes here. There are 8 billion people on the planet. Nobody cares what you do for dinner when you're on business in Peoria. So do what you like, when you like.


NP... I disagree. Why does DCUM need to go to the meanest possible answer and to throw in some dumb, trite overused saying? Maybe she just feels awkward. OP.. I have traveled a lot and eat out alone. I never sit at the bar because I don't drink and I know bartendars depend on drinkers tipping. I never have trouble getting a table. I usually bring a book, magazine or newspaper to read. ( I am not a phone scroller). Take your time, leave a good tip and enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2025 12:03     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you an actual adult?


congrats on being a perfect human. spoiler alert you're not.


Nope. But pretty damn close
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2025 11:56     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:Are you an actual adult?


congrats on being a perfect human. spoiler alert you're not.
Anonymous
Post 03/23/2025 11:50     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:New job requires travel, so I'm going to be frequently eating in my hotel room, however, I'm not entirely opposed to eating out alone. For those of you who do it:

1. You sit at the bar, right? Do you walk in and walk out if the bar has no seats and/or the bar only has one open seat, which means you have to squeeze in tightly between two groups? I think I'd be deeply uncomfortable eating with randoms that close to me on both sides.

2. What do you do if the bar has no TV? I assume with or without TV, you just play on your phone most of the time? And if no TV, you basically play on your phone the entire time? If there's a TV, at least you can look up and let it occupy chunks of your time.

3. Do you tend to eat really quickly when alone? While you're eating, and in-between bites, do you look around or look straight ahead? I don't see any reason to pause, I think I'd just hoover up my food and quickly pay.

4. Sort of related to 3, do you give you credit card when you order to speed up cashing out and your exit?


Or you hope there is a dog in the restaurant because there seems to be one EVERYWHERE so you can stare at the dog occasionally instead of a phone, laptop or tv. Can you order at your hotel instead?
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 12:22     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
OP, you may want to practice in a low-stakes way by eating in a fast-casual place alone (e.g. Panera). That way you can get an idea of what feels comfortable for you — pulling out a book, scrolling on phone, people watching, etc.

I sometimes eat alone and enjoy it, but avoid restaurants’ busy times so it’s less stressful.

Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 11:03     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:Why do you care so much about how others perceive you, OP? No one cares. No, you don't have to sit at the bar. Eating by yourself is fine. People travel for business all the time.



OP has low self-esteem. She is always criticizing herself, so she thinks others criticize her too. This is what a lifetime of low self-esteem looks like.

OP— truthfully, you should not go out to eat alone. You will indeed look as awkward as you think you will look, because you’ve never been able to get past the self-criticism and it’s too late to change now. If you sit at the bar, not only will you feel awkward— you’ll make everyone else feel awkward too because you probably will drop your fork on the floor, spill your drink, etc., because you’ll be too nervous. Order room service and just enjoy yourself in a low stress way.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 10:32     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:I strongly prefer DoorDash or room service, so I can watch garbage TV I would never watch at home.


I can’t stand lukewarm food so I’ve cut down on DoorDash significantly. Unless it’s something I can heat up I’ll pick it up myself. I’m with you on the trashy tv
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 18:39     Subject: Re:Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Thank you. Yes, I'm overthinking! Sorry for a probing question: Do you still read on your iPad after your food has arrived? Like you're eating with dominant hand and swiping and scrolling with the other hand? Or do you put away the reading device when the main course arrives? I guess I still don't get how to pace myself while dining alone. When you're out eating conversation happens between bites. I don't know what you're doing if you pause while solo, which suggests, to me, I'd just eat super quickly.

OP, do you have trouble eating when you are home alone? Do you inhale the food because you don't know what to do between bites?
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 18:38     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:I strongly prefer DoorDash or room service, so I can watch garbage TV I would never watch at home.

After seeing so many videos of door dash food orders, I'd refrain from that.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2025 20:18     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
I strongly prefer DoorDash or room service, so I can watch garbage TV I would never watch at home.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2025 19:55     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just when you think DCUM can’t get any weirder, another steps up to the plate, and sayhold my beer.


Doesn't it feel like A.I. often uses this place to learn about [/b]highly anxious[b] humans to anthropomorphize itself better?


FTFY
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2025 19:39     Subject: Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone
Anonymous wrote:Just when you think DCUM can’t get any weirder, another steps up to the plate, and sayhold my beer.


Doesn't it feel like A.I. often uses this place to learn about humans to anthropomorphize itself better?