Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:29     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
I was surprised at just how skewed the gender ratios have become on many campuses. Most of the places my kid visited were majority female.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:29     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
I was surprised at how accurate our school’s Scoir scatter grams turned out.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:28     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Maybe this is twee, but honestly I was surprised by what a growth experience the process was, and how much opportunity it created for self-reflection and connection. I had dreaded the process, as did DD. But every school visit turned out to be a chance for DD to get to know herself a little bit better — to see what resonated, and what didn’t, and to reflect on why. She grew up so much simply by going through the process. Even those infernal essays were valuable in their own way.

Yes, it was stressful at times, and no she didn’t get in everywhere. But all of that became an opportunity too. I’m relieved it’s largely over, but part of me is sad, too.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:28     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how mean and judgmental people can be about other people’s kids. Adult snark is one thing, mocking teenagers quite another. Regardless of the anonymous nature of this forum, I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to belittle a high schooler’s character, intellect, or choice of ECs, college, major, etc.


I admit anonymously to being overly harsh about a few kids who appear to have waltzed into tippy top schools to play sports but have not done anything close to the academic work my kid and friends have done (many of whom are still waiting for decisions).




Hi there, I appreciate you admitting that you’ve been overly harsh. My kid isn’t an athlete, but I can only imagine the time and effort athletes have invested in their sport in order to be recruitable. Reasonable people can respectfully disagree about institutional priorities, but at the end of the day the colleges decide whom to admit, not the kids. In other words, please consider hating the game rather than the player. I truly wish all the best to your DC and their friends!
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:28     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
That there's a different "standard" at public high schools compared to private high schools.

That feeder high schools exist where 25-50% of the class is admitted to T25/30 (that "levels" post was one of the most eye-opening posts I've seen on this board in 2 years).
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:21     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hooks matter more than anything else at the top 20 schools, and especially the Ivies. A kid at the top of the class, with perfect grades and scores and impressive, unique ECs, will almost always lose out to a kid without those things who has a hook. I heard this so many times but did not fully absorb it without personal experience.


Is there really a difference between the 4.0 and 3.96? No. The kids getting are also at the top of the class for the most part. They just bring something else as well.


Maybe not, but there is a difference between 4.0 and 3.8
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:19     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pleasantly surprised that there are plenty of T50 schools that accept strong, well rounded applicants. DD got in everywhere she applied with a good GPA, solid (but not exceptional) SAT scores, varsity sports, leadership and service.


Because she is a female. C'mon, your should know that.



Nope. Being a female hurts these days, since they are over-represented at nearly every college. Male applicants have a small advantage now.


Depends on the school. DS's college explicitly favors women.


Certainly the case at MIT!
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:19     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hooks matter more than anything else at the top 20 schools, and especially the Ivies. A kid at the top of the class, with perfect grades and scores and impressive, unique ECs, will almost always lose out to a kid without those things who has a hook. I heard this so many times but did not fully absorb it without personal experience.


Is being URM (like Hispanic or black) still considered a hook?



Yes. The student simply needs to communicate this in an "identity" essay or via extracurriculars. Colleges want and should be able to build diverse classes (diverse in every way). Holistic admissions is not going anywhere, but reinstating test scores ensures there's a merit threshold.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:17     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pleasantly surprised that there are plenty of T50 schools that accept strong, well rounded applicants. DD got in everywhere she applied with a good GPA, solid (but not exceptional) SAT scores, varsity sports, leadership and service.


Because she is a female. C'mon, your should know that.



Nope. Being a female hurts these days, since they are over-represented at nearly every college. Male applicants have a small advantage now.


Depends on the school. DS's college explicitly favors women.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:17     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:DS is already in college but I want to post my thoughts for mainly Asian-American parents who will go through this process. For us, frankly, there were no surprises. We were very clear about what we wanted and what we were against. We knew quite early that the entire system is biased against Asian-American (especially males), and we prepared accordingly throughout his academic career. In fact, our entire planning was to make up for the various bamboo ceilings that he would encounter, and give him any edge regarding academics, ECs, health, support system, socialization, finances that we could.

- Financially - we saved for college and decided that our kids will never have student debt, even if we were subsisting on rice and beans.
- Prestige - we concentrated on the major/research/course offering and not the college. Eventually, he did not get into his top choice (MIT) but got into second choice (UMD) that he chose over other strong STEM schools like UMich and GTech.
- Academics - kid was in STEM magnet, had 4.0 GPA, 4.8 wGPA, 1590 SAT, NMS finalist, Foreign language for 5 years culminating in AP FL- from MS till HS, 12 APs with 5s. Strong ECs, scientific competitions, volunteer work and co-author on published paper after research internship. There were no faults in his resume and achievements.

What is important is not getting into a college, but, being able to thrive in college - academically, socially and mentally. They need to get a holistic education, they need to develop as an individual, they need to be able to strategize and plan for their future.

Even in college, with such a bleak job market they need to be able to - do well academically, have hobbies and skills, form close friendships, embrace new experiences and interests, get internships/jobs to get experience, network, develop skills, prioritize their physical, mental and emotional health - for future.

Getting into college is not the end-all. There is a whole lot more adulting needed once they go to college.








I respect your lived experience, and it’s clear your DS is very accomplished and will continue to do you proud! Just to provide a counterpoint, my family is Asian American, and our DS does not appear to have encountered a bamboo ceiling in college admissions - he got into his top choice HYPSM early. So many T5 applicants have stellar achievements that we consider his admittance to be luck, and would not have considered a denial to be due to bias.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:16     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how mean and judgmental people can be about other people’s kids. Adult snark is one thing, mocking teenagers quite another. Regardless of the anonymous nature of this forum, I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to belittle a high schooler’s character, intellect, or choice of ECs, college, major, etc.


I admit anonymously to being overly harsh about a few kids who appear to have waltzed into tippy top schools to play sports but have not done anything close to the academic work my kid and friends have done (many of whom are still waiting for decisions).


Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:16     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try not to be a stem major


Is math (pure or applied) considered a stem major? In most of the universities, math seems to be in the College rather than the Engr schools.

It's a STEM liberal art. There's some schools that put Bio/Chem/Physics in College of Arts and Sciences.


+1.

T & E aren't liberal arts, but S & M are.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:15     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pleasantly surprised that there are plenty of T50 schools that accept strong, well rounded applicants. DD got in everywhere she applied with a good GPA, solid (but not exceptional) SAT scores, varsity sports, leadership and service.


Because she is a female. C'mon, your should know that.



Nope. Being a female hurts these days, since they are over-represented at nearly every college. Male applicants have a small advantage now.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:12     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What has surprised you - that you were clueless about?


Fake virtue signaling and faux activism are highly valued in the process by the liberal arts majors that are the AOs at these schools. Tough road for great, but not elite, scholar-athletes and brilliant, but introverted kids.


T20 AO want kids who will get out of their dorms and be active on campus. Contribute. Be both joiners and leaders. In a wide variety of activities - not just robotics.
After you meet the baseline for stats, they then need to be able to imagine what you will do on campus. How exactly are you contributing? How productive are you in the day-to-day life of the campus? The best indicator of what you will do on a college campus will come from your ECs and your LORs.
LOR are a stealth area of "points" in this process.
Make sure you understand the AO scoring process for the reach schools. Review your application with that rubric in mind.
Anonymous
Post 03/13/2025 14:11     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try not to be a stem major


Is math (pure or applied) considered a stem major? In most of the universities, math seems to be in the College rather than the Engr schools.

It's a STEM liberal art. There's some schools that put Bio/Chem/Physics in College of Arts and Sciences.