Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

I think you are coming to the wrong conclusion.

Harvard did a study on their student-athletes and I believe 25% of all athletes stopped playing for the Varsity team...with certain sports like XCountry and crew seeing higher quit rates.

It's not because they were failing. It's because the kids realized that there was nothing beyond Harvard in their sport...other than continuing to do it to keep in shape, but nobody was planning to go to the Olympics or otherwise pursue the sport professionally.

So, they were practicing like crazy and physically wiped most days. They weren't having the "fun" experience of most college students and just decided by sophomore or junior year that they wanted to have a traditional college experience before it was over.

Basketball and field hockey (that one seems odd) had the highest retention rates of all sports.

In high school, those sports have a secondary purpose...getting you into your desired school like Harvard. Once at Harvard, there is no other purpose. You have to love the sport and your team which many kids decide they don't at the level required from D1.

Totally agree. Lots of college athletes drop out of their sport after freshman year b/c it’s not as interesting as it was in hs. IN HS, participating in a sport gives you lots of benefits: you’re playing with friends that you’ve known your whole life; You’re a minor celebrity in your school; It gives you some freedom from your parents (my kids loved the road trips they did with their HS & Club teams); Etc.

Several of my friends with kids playing college sports have told me their kids have dropped out after freshman year. They want to use the time they would’ve been training and playing to get internships meet girls go to parties.

It’s a real wake up call for those of us who have been supporting these athletes for the last decade.

DP. I think what I find unappealing about your post and similar other ones - aside from the implication that athletes are dumb and can’t keep up at ‘elite’ schools- is that there’s this judgmental air about the value (or lack there of) of playing a sport, particularly if it’s for more than just to gain an admission edge and only then for a school the kid is ‘smart enough’ (as determined solely by their SAT and GPA, I guess) to attend. Sure, some kids will move on, and decide to focus on other things, but so what? Does that make their efforts any less important? I don’t think so. The experience of being dedicated and disciplined, working on a team, etc, was so valuable.

Although by your tone and attitude, I suspect your cohort might lean towards the parent groups who push kids towards sports primarily as a hook for college, and so yeah, it makes sense more of those kids would drop out early.

Not sure the point you are trying to make.

I was PP that commented that Harvard actually did a study and 25% of all their varsity athletes stop playing the sport...and the quit rate is 50%+ in sports like crew and lower in basketball and field hockey.

Again, this wasn't because they were struggling with their grades, but rather they were missing out on the college experience and perhaps didn't appreciate how time-intensive the sport was at a D1 program..even Harvard...and how much they were missing out on the entire experience.

There is no implication that anyone is dumb, nor were they only playing the sport to get recruited to Harvard. It's just that the secondary motivation for the sport was very powerful in addition to enjoying playing in high school.

It's different when you get to college in a sport where 98% of the student body could care less about how well the college performs in the sport (or that they even have the sport), and very few will ever attend any of the games/matches/meets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

I think you are coming to the wrong conclusion.

Harvard did a study on their student-athletes and I believe 25% of all athletes stopped playing for the Varsity team...with certain sports like XCountry and crew seeing higher quit rates.

It's not because they were failing. It's because the kids realized that there was nothing beyond Harvard in their sport...other than continuing to do it to keep in shape, but nobody was planning to go to the Olympics or otherwise pursue the sport professionally.

So, they were practicing like crazy and physically wiped most days. They weren't having the "fun" experience of most college students and just decided by sophomore or junior year that they wanted to have a traditional college experience before it was over.

Basketball and field hockey (that one seems odd) had the highest retention rates of all sports.

In high school, those sports have a secondary purpose...getting you into your desired school like Harvard. Once at Harvard, there is no other purpose. You have to love the sport and your team which many kids decide they don't at the level required from D1.

Totally agree. Lots of college athletes drop out of their sport after freshman year b/c it’s not as interesting as it was in hs. IN HS, participating in a sport gives you lots of benefits: you’re playing with friends that you’ve known your whole life; You’re a minor celebrity in your school; It gives you some freedom from your parents (my kids loved the road trips they did with their HS & Club teams); Etc.

Several of my friends with kids playing college sports have told me their kids have dropped out after freshman year. They want to use the time they would’ve been training and playing to get internships meet girls go to parties.

It’s a real wake up call for those of us who have been supporting these athletes for the last decade.

DP. I think what I find unappealing about your post and similar other ones - aside from the implication that athletes are dumb and can’t keep up at ‘elite’ schools- is that there’s this judgmental air about the value (or lack there of) of playing a sport, particularly if it’s for more than just to gain an admission edge and only then for a school the kid is ‘smart enough’ (as determined solely by their SAT and GPA, I guess) to attend. Sure, some kids will move on, and decide to focus on other things, but so what? Does that make their efforts any less important? I don’t think so. The experience of being dedicated and disciplined, working on a team, etc, was so valuable.

Although by your tone and attitude, I suspect your cohort might lean towards the parent groups who push kids towards sports primarily as a hook for college, and so yeah, it makes sense more of those kids would drop out early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

I think you are coming to the wrong conclusion.

Harvard did a study on their student-athletes and I believe 25% of all athletes stopped playing for the Varsity team...with certain sports like XCountry and crew seeing higher quit rates.

It's not because they were failing. It's because the kids realized that there was nothing beyond Harvard in their sport...other than continuing to do it to keep in shape, but nobody was planning to go to the Olympics or otherwise pursue the sport professionally.

So, they were practicing like crazy and physically wiped most days. They weren't having the "fun" experience of most college students and just decided by sophomore or junior year that they wanted to have a traditional college experience before it was over.

Basketball and field hockey (that one seems odd) had the highest retention rates of all sports.

In high school, those sports have a secondary purpose...getting you into your desired school like Harvard. Once at Harvard, there is no other purpose. You have to love the sport and your team which many kids decide they don't at the level required from D1.

Totally agree. Lots of college athletes drop out of their sport after freshman year b/c it’s not as interesting as it was in hs. IN HS, participating in a sport gives you lots of benefits: you’re playing with friends that you’ve known your whole life; You’re a minor celebrity in your school; It gives you some freedom from your parents (my kids loved the road trips they did with their HS & Club teams); Etc.

Several of my friends with kids playing college sports have told me their kids have dropped out after freshman year. They want to use the time they would’ve been training and playing to get internships meet girls go to parties.

It’s a real wake up call for those of us who have been supporting these athletes for the last decade.

DP. I think what I find unappealing about your post and similar other ones - aside from the implication that athletes are dumb and can’t keep up at ‘elite’ schools- is that there’s this judgmental air about the value (or lack there of) of playing a sport, particularly if it’s for more than just to gain an admission edge and only then for a school the kid is ‘smart enough’ (as determined solely by their SAT and GPA, I guess) to attend. Sure, some kids will move on, and decide to focus on other things, but so what? Does that make their efforts any less important? I don’t think so. The experience of being dedicated and disciplined, working on a team, etc, was so valuable.

Although by your tone and attitude, I suspect your cohort might lean towards the parent groups who push kids towards sports primarily as a hook for college, and so yeah, it makes sense more of those kids would drop out early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

I think you are coming to the wrong conclusion.

Harvard did a study on their student-athletes and I believe 25% of all athletes stopped playing for the Varsity team...with certain sports like XCountry and crew seeing higher quit rates.

It's not because they were failing. It's because the kids realized that there was nothing beyond Harvard in their sport...other than continuing to do it to keep in shape, but nobody was planning to go to the Olympics or otherwise pursue the sport professionally.

So, they were practicing like crazy and physically wiped most days. They weren't having the "fun" experience of most college students and just decided by sophomore or junior year that they wanted to have a traditional college experience before it was over.

Basketball and field hockey (that one seems odd) had the highest retention rates of all sports.

In high school, those sports have a secondary purpose...getting you into your desired school like Harvard. Once at Harvard, there is no other purpose. You have to love the sport and your team which many kids decide they don't at the level required from D1.

Totally agree. Lots of college athletes drop out of their sport after freshman year b/c it’s not as interesting as it was in hs. IN HS, participating in a sport gives you lots of benefits: you’re playing with friends that you’ve known your whole life; You’re a minor celebrity in your school; It gives you some freedom from your parents (my kids loved the road trips they did with their HS & Club teams); Etc.

Several of my friends with kids playing college sports have told me their kids have dropped out after freshman year. They want to use the time they would’ve been training and playing to get internships meet girls go to parties.

It’s a real wake up call for those of us who have been supporting these athletes for the last decade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

I think you are coming to the wrong conclusion.

Harvard did a study on their student-athletes and I believe 25% of all athletes stopped playing for the Varsity team...with certain sports like XCountry and crew seeing higher quit rates.

It's not because they were failing. It's because the kids realized that there was nothing beyond Harvard in their sport...other than continuing to do it to keep in shape, but nobody was planning to go to the Olympics or otherwise pursue the sport professionally.

So, they were practicing like crazy and physically wiped most days. They weren't having the "fun" experience of most college students and just decided by sophomore or junior year that they wanted to have a traditional college experience before it was over.

Basketball and field hockey (that one seems odd) had the highest retention rates of all sports.

In high school, those sports have a secondary purpose...getting you into your desired school like Harvard. Once at Harvard, there is no other purpose. You have to love the sport and your team which many kids decide they don't at the level required from D1.

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.










.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.










.

You are clearly extremely triggered by the idea of a smart kid not necessarily prioritizing test scores in high school but having no trouble keeping up with the alleged rigor of the majority of elite University courses. And similar to the other poster on this thread, my kid doesn’t prioritize sports OVER academics -he simply doesn’t prioritize academics at all. (i.e. most people aren’t claiming the test scores aren’t high because of the sports). Is it my ideal? If course not, but he is who he is.

You remind me, ironically, of the type of sports parents who pay for private coaching from the age of five or so, always insist your kid has to be on the most “elite” teams, and then throw temper tantrums when some naturally athletic kid who doesn’t know a bat from a ball picks up the sport in high school and is just as good if not better than your highly trained kid.

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.










.

Anonymous wrote:You never want to be the dumbest kid in the class. The view that your kid didn’t pull top scores or grades because they spent time playing their sport is wrong. The kids who did get the top grades and test scores, and were not playing sports, were doing other things - art, music, tech, whatever. They just are smarter.

That’s fine. Go to a college where your kid’s academics are at least in the middle of the pack. It is hard enough to play a sport and do okay academically in college when you are not the dumb one.

Even at an academic D3 college, the coach does not care about your kid’s grades other than they have to be good enough that the coach never hears anything about them. The coach does not give a rip if your kid has a test or a paper due. Practice is at X time, and your kid better be there. It’s not high school. You can’t call and tell the coach Billy has to study.
It is - always - sink or swim. Most kids sink.
Kids who are in over their heads academically to begin with are almost always going to sink.

Think I’m wrong? Do this. Go to the team website for the high academic school you’re thinking your kid wants to get into. Look at last years team. How many seniors are on it? Go back 4 years and look at that team. How many freshmen? If 50% survived until senior year that’s very good. Very often it’s less. Injuries can happen. Kids turning out not to be good enough can happen - a lot, and kids flunking out.

Don’t start off underwater. Playing a sport is a huge time commitment. In season it’s easily 40 hours a week plus travel. Off season it’s 20 hours.


Wow, you sound awful. Calling kids you don’t know ‘dumb’? Classy.

I’m the PP who went to an elite college with very high stats kids (my stats were in range but probably on the lower end, which I didn’t even realize at the time bc my family didn’t care about SAT scores and I took it exactly once with no prep) and I can say that I found the rigor and the prestige of the school (and the students) overstated. The hardest part was getting in.

If you deny that many of these kids in ‘elite’ schools are highly prepped and supported to get their elite stats, you are delusional.

As far as time management, these kids have been juggling these issues for years. And yes, of course kids will drop out. Injuries, hitting a wall, transfers, boredom, whatever. And yes, a decent percentage perhaps weren’t fully committed to begin with and were merely using it as an admission hook. Most of my kid’s team captains over the years haven’t even been particularly good or focused athletes, but they seem to want the designation for their resumes (probably encouraged by their parents).

Kids like mine arent doing it for their resume, they are doing it for the joy of the sport and are disciplined, determined and focused. Sorry, but as a parent I’ll take that grit over a 100 points on a standardized test any day. I’m proud of these kids and think they’ll do great in life.







.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was recruited by a lot of schools and ultimately picked a high academic D1 school over a higher level of play because academics are more important to him.

He went to a DC area private known for tough academics. His cumulative GPA was a 3.6 and his SAT score was a 1390.

He definitely would not have gotten in if it wasn't for his sport. I will also add that the head coach also acknowledged how tough his school is and that they took that into consideration when looking at his transcript.

Pp yes, this makes sense to me from what I’m seeing. And now that I have a sports kid (my other dc played sports but at a different level) I (conveniently sort of don’t mind whereas a few years ago I might have thought it was ‘unfair’ that the ‘jocks’ got a boost. I can now see how my dc’s devotion to his sport has taken up so much time, and how my other dc had the luxury of having weekday time/almost full weekends to study and prepare for big exams, while my sporty dc is training for hours every day, and spending entire days and sometimes even weekends traveling and competing.

So, I am the PP. I would be lying if I said my kid spent all his time training and that’s why his grades weren’t as high as they could have been. He just didn’t care that much- he was fine with B’s. As for training he didn’t go overboard on that either- he was a 3 sport athlete and only focused on his college sport during junior year and that was the only year he didn’t play his other sports.

He sounds great, and you also sound like a very reasonable parent who let their kid find their path.

Thanks so much. I am an educator and naively that parenting would be a breeze, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Lots of missteps along the way. I am lucky because I have a great partner in my DH. He and I have been going to weekly couples therapy since our kids were in MS. We also read parenting books together and listen to the same parenting podcasts. What we've learned is that you have to let your kids be who they're going to be. Your dream may not be their dream whether it be sports or other hobbies, how they like to dress, what they want to study in college, etc. You also have to let them make mistakes and refrain from fixing everything (I used to be a fixer and that was really hard for me to unlearn) because otherwise they won't learn.

Show up for your kids, support them and always tell them you love to watch them play. If they were supportive of a teammate (or an opponent) or showed great sportsmanship tell them you noticed. Do not critique their performance- they know what they did wrong and have already heard it from their coach. If there's time, stop for an ice cream on the way home.

As for my son, I think he's going to be alright... Still has a long way to go with lots of mistakes still left to be made, but he will get there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was recruited by a lot of schools and ultimately picked a high academic D1 school over a higher level of play because academics are more important to him.

He went to a DC area private known for tough academics. His cumulative GPA was a 3.6 and his SAT score was a 1390.

He definitely would not have gotten in if it wasn't for his sport. I will also add that the head coach also acknowledged how tough his school is and that they took that into consideration when looking at his transcript.

Pp yes, this makes sense to me from what I’m seeing. And now that I have a sports kid (my other dc played sports but at a different level) I (conveniently sort of don’t mind whereas a few years ago I might have thought it was ‘unfair’ that the ‘jocks’ got a boost. I can now see how my dc’s devotion to his sport has taken up so much time, and how my other dc had the luxury of having weekday time/almost full weekends to study and prepare for big exams, while my sporty dc is training for hours every day, and spending entire days and sometimes even weekends traveling and competing.

So, I am the PP. I would be lying if I said my kid spent all his time training and that’s why his grades weren’t as high as they could have been. He just didn’t care that much- he was fine with B’s. As for training he didn’t go overboard on that either- he was a 3 sport athlete and only focused on his college sport during junior year and that was the only year he didn’t play his other sports.

He sounds great, and you also sound like a very reasonable parent who let their kid find their path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My take.

1. For the truly gifted athlete (ie nationally top ranked) recruiting is an open door into almost any school except maybe the most academic colleges (and even then if it’s a sport the alumni really care about they will find a way to admit you).

2. For the elite athlete (ie all-state/record holder) recruiting will significantly lower the admissions requirement. I personally know kids with a 3.5 and 1200 sat who have gotten into ivy league schools. That would be impossible w/o recruiting.

3. For the very good athlete (ie multi-year varsity starter/all-district) it can give an edge to the excellent student. The 4.2, 1450 sat kid has a good shot at a top school.

4. For everybody else- the recruiting game is reversed and your kid ends up going to lower ranked schools in order to play college sports.

But you don't really need to be at #2 athletic ability level above for Ivy recruiting, do you? I think #3 level above with the better academic stats is generally who ends up there? Talking about men's football/basketball/baseball.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was recruited by a lot of schools and ultimately picked a high academic D1 school over a higher level of play because academics are more important to him.

He went to a DC area private known for tough academics. His cumulative GPA was a 3.6 and his SAT score was a 1390.

He definitely would not have gotten in if it wasn't for his sport. I will also add that the head coach also acknowledged how tough his school is and that they took that into consideration when looking at his transcript.

Pp yes, this makes sense to me from what I’m seeing. And now that I have a sports kid (my other dc played sports but at a different level) I (conveniently sort of don’t mind whereas a few years ago I might have thought it was ‘unfair’ that the ‘jocks’ got a boost. I can now see how my dc’s devotion to his sport has taken up so much time, and how my other dc had the luxury of having weekday time/almost full weekends to study and prepare for big exams, while my sporty dc is training for hours every day, and spending entire days and sometimes even weekends traveling and competing.

So, I am the PP. I would be lying if I said my kid spent all his time training and that’s why his grades weren’t as high as they could have been. He just didn’t care that much- he was fine with B’s. As for training he didn’t go overboard on that either- he was a 3 sport athlete and only focused on his college sport during junior year and that was the only year he didn’t play his other sports.