I think the most you can do is caution him to move slowly for the sake of the gf’s young child. Explain how detrimental it can be for the child if relationships move quickly. Phrase this in a way it is supportive of his relationship and building a solid foundation for the future.

If he’s as put tobwghwr and she’s as big of a hot mess as you say then moving slowly should help him identify those incompatibilities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Calling it nonsense is unacceptable. Period. Feel any way you want about it. I don't care. Just don't call what some of us deal with day in and day out nonsense. Mmmlkkaaaayyyy????

Furthermore, if you think you're without fault and don't have issues of some sort yourself, or that someone in your life is not sick of your shit too, I have a bridge to sell you. I would much rather be with someone who has ADHD and empathy/grace/love than someone like you or the PP. In fact, I am with someone like that!!! Nothing wrong with my marriage or my child. They are not damaged goods that someone "should look put for." So yes, you too can F yourself with explaining away your bigotry.

You obviously have issues. I personally prefer not to have a relationship, especially a romantic relationship, with a person who has issues. Be it anger issues or ADHD. So as a parent I also tell my children to recognize the signs, because I've learned how to. You are damaged goods and we don't want you. I don't care how you feel about it. You think you offer empathy and grace to others, but instead you offer destruction and dysfunction. I've seen the likes of you. Move on.

We are all damaged goods. You sound like a sociopath.

OP I get it, I really do. You see what can come with this-lots of drama with the ex and if they get more serious possibly financial drama if she is finding herself and has a child. There is a lot more.

It's painful to watch, but all you can do is gently share your concerns while making it clear you understand he is an adult and makes his own choices. Also gently make sure he understands the importance of birth control on his side too-especially if she has had a lot of partners besides her ex.

Then you step back and cover your eyes. Try to keep a good relationship with him. Hope that he will want your input, but don't force it. Know that if you insist he not date her, you could lose him and push them closer together. Pray he figures things out for himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. Did your meal ticket escape?

Never had one so nothing to escape. Just like you never had any decency, education or empathy. Again, I really hope your grandchildren have one of those nonsense disorders.

Well, then there is no reason to flip out. As I said, I'm a different poster. It's reasonable nowadays to speak about all kinds of mental disorders that in the previous generations were swiped under the carpet, nothing wrong with that. I wish my parents told me things what to look out for in a spouse, but they didn't, as people were expected to figure things out themselves and mental disorders were not talked about. As the PP said, there are many women here on this forum who ended up with a spouse with an ADHD or OCD or BPD or Asperger's (because we didn't know what to look out for), which has lead to difficult marriages, to put it mildly, and oftentimes to children with the same disorders. PP said "nonsense" sarcastically.

Calling it nonsense is unacceptable. Period. Feel any way you want about it. I don't care. Just don't call what some of us deal with day in and day out nonsense. Mmmlkkaaaayyyy????

Furthermore, if you think you're without fault and don't have issues of some sort yourself, or that someone in your life is not sick of your shit too, I have a bridge to sell you. I would much rather be with someone who has ADHD and empathy/grace/love than someone like you or the PP. In fact, I am with someone like that!!! Nothing wrong with my marriage or my child. They are not damaged goods that someone "should look put for." So yes, you too can F yourself with explaining away your bigotry.

Seems like you are proving PP’s point and best to avoid people like you and your family when it comes to dating and marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Calling it nonsense is unacceptable. Period. Feel any way you want about it. I don't care. Just don't call what some of us deal with day in and day out nonsense. Mmmlkkaaaayyyy????

Furthermore, if you think you're without fault and don't have issues of some sort yourself, or that someone in your life is not sick of your shit too, I have a bridge to sell you. I would much rather be with someone who has ADHD and empathy/grace/love than someone like you or the PP. In fact, I am with someone like that!!! Nothing wrong with my marriage or my child. They are not damaged goods that someone "should look put for." So yes, you too can F yourself with explaining away your bigotry.

You obviously have issues. I personally prefer not to have a relationship, especially a romantic relationship, with a person who has issues. Be it anger issues or ADHD. So as a parent I also tell my children to recognize the signs, because I've learned how to. You are damaged goods and we don't want you. I don't care how you feel about it. You think you offer empathy and grace to others, but instead you offer destruction and dysfunction. I've seen the likes of you. Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I totally get where you're coming from. This woman feels like she found her meal ticket and won't give up easily. Guarantee it.

+1. I get it too OP, as the mother of sons. This is the last thing I'd want to see. Just hope and pray he comes to his senses, and soon.

Trust us as moms of daughters we want the best for our girls too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

No education. No stable job. She lives with her parents. Problems with the child's father.

I can't leave it alone. He wants me to accept her like I accepted all of his ex-gfs.

He is an adult. If you don't accrpt you may lose him
is that what you want? .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. Did your meal ticket escape?

Never had one so nothing to escape. Just like you never had any decency, education or empathy. Again, I really hope your grandchildren have one of those nonsense disorders.

Well, then there is no reason to flip out. As I said, I'm a different poster. It's reasonable nowadays to speak about all kinds of mental disorders that in the previous generations were swiped under the carpet, nothing wrong with that. I wish my parents told me things what to look out for in a spouse, but they didn't, as people were expected to figure things out themselves and mental disorders were not talked about. As the PP said, there are many women here on this forum who ended up with a spouse with an ADHD or OCD or BPD or Asperger's (because we didn't know what to look out for), which has lead to difficult marriages, to put it mildly, and oftentimes to children with the same disorders. PP said "nonsense" sarcastically.

Calling it nonsense is unacceptable. Period. Feel any way you want about it. I don't care. Just don't call what some of us deal with day in and day out nonsense. Mmmlkkaaaayyyy????

Furthermore, if you think you're without fault and don't have issues of some sort yourself, or that someone in your life is not sick of your shit too, I have a bridge to sell you. I would much rather be with someone who has ADHD and empathy/grace/love than someone like you or the PP. In fact, I am with someone like that!!! Nothing wrong with my marriage or my child. They are not damaged goods that someone "should look put for." So yes, you too can F yourself with explaining away your bigotry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. Did your meal ticket escape?

Never had one so nothing to escape. Just like you never had any decency, education or empathy. Again, I really hope your grandchildren have one of those nonsense disorders.

Well, then there is no reason to flip out. As I said, I'm a different poster. It's reasonable nowadays to speak about all kinds of mental disorders that in the previous generations were swiped under the carpet, nothing wrong with that. I wish my parents told me things what to look out for in a spouse, but they didn't, as people were expected to figure things out themselves and mental disorders were not talked about. As the PP said, there are many women here on this forum who ended up with a spouse with an ADHD or OCD or BPD or Asperger's (because we didn't know what to look out for), which has lead to difficult marriages, to put it mildly, and oftentimes to children with the same disorders. PP said "nonsense" sarcastically.

*His GF would be better off finding a job, seeking therapy, securing governmental assistance and raising her child. Once she is in a more stable situation, she can think of dating in few years.

Anonymous wrote:and I am not OK with that. He is 23. She is 29. With a kid. She is very pretty but a hot mess, "still figuring things out". He is a catch, a young, successful adult, with a good job, no debt, he lives by himself but recently started saying how he wants to move in with her.

Just here to vent. So not what I hoped for him.

We don't know the GF so its unfair to assume she is trying to trap him. She could be a good person who made bad decisions and in her vulnerability trying to take first available life line and get out of her life's sink hole.

That being said, she isn't a rational choice for someone younger who has his act together and better off keeping it that way. He should be with a 22-25 year old woman who has a degree, a job, and some common sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh look!!!! Another vile person just OP. I hope your grandchildren have ADD/ADHD or some other "nonsense" you POS.

Go look at the relationship board and get back to me.

50% of the threads are people who married someone with ADD/ADHD and now their marriage and lives are a disaster.

Like I said, POS!!!!! Go F yourself.

NP. Did your meal ticket escape?

Never had one so nothing to escape. Just like you never had any decency, education or empathy. Again, I really hope your grandchildren have one of those nonsense disorders.

Clearly the single mother with no career would expect OP's son to pay her way if there were to move in together. Plus her son would suddenly be in the "father" position for a child that is not his own. AND when he finally gets wise he'll have a hell of a time extricating himself. I betting she won't leave without a legal eviction notice, or even scarier, when she realizes she's going to lose her meal ticket don't think she won't consider ruining OP's son's life by claiming he abused her child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a hot mess? Actually, it doesn't matter. Stop meddling and leave them alone.

No education. No stable job. She lives with her parents. Problems with the child's father.

I can't leave it alone. He wants me to accept her like I accepted all of his ex-gfs.

Oof. That's a mess I'd try to end immediately TBH. Would never accept.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh look!!!! Another vile person just OP. I hope your grandchildren have ADD/ADHD or some other "nonsense" you POS.

Go look at the relationship board and get back to me.

50% of the threads are people who married someone with ADD/ADHD and now their marriage and lives are a disaster.

Like I said, POS!!!!! Go F yourself.

NP. Did your meal ticket escape?