Anonymous
01/21/2025 15:16
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?
OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.
Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.
...and yet you posted this why? To help PP or to make her feel worse? So who is bitter?
It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.
Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.
Np. We have a warm home. My kids do chores. DH is a partner. I’m not anyone’s servant.
Hahahahahaha.
You mean he hasn't cheated....yet....
Just wait.
I’m sorry that you are such a bitter person. Someone must have really hurt you.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 15:16
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
I don’t think there is a correlation. I never wanted to have kids but here we are 11 years later.
My cousin grew up with a sahm saying she wanted to be a sahm and she’s a full time pediatrician.
My cousin grew up with a sahm saying she wanted to be a sahm and she’s a full time pediatrician.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 15:12
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?
OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.
Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.
It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.
Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.
Np. We have a warm home. My kids do chores. DH is a partner. I’m not anyone’s servant.
Hahahahahaha.
You mean he hasn't cheated....yet....
Just wait.
DH is not that type. Even if we were to divorce, I would be fine financially. I would take one of our properties. I have my own money and I would also take half our marital assets. No prenup.
Good for your preparation. Most men don't respect a woman who doesn't work. By most men, I mean all the ones I work with who have SAH spouses who are as happy and secure as you. I see how they talk about you to others, even when they are faithful. They don't respect you. Occasionally they generally don't respect women, period, even if they work.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:57
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?
OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.
Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.
It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.
Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.
Np. We have a warm home. My kids do chores. DH is a partner. I’m not anyone’s servant.
Hahahahahaha.
You mean he hasn't cheated....yet....
Just wait.
I’m sorry that you are such a bitter person. Someone must have really hurt you.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:52
Subject: Re:At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:At the age that she reaches after holding her baby and realizing she can choose to provide the best care for that baby by devoting her time for a few years, or a lot of years.
Many many many many biological moms are not the "best care" for their own children. Have you read the adult children forum? Have you listened to the people complain about the parenting they received? Have you thought about all the undiagnosed mental health issues of the people that raised our generation? Now imagine if those people actually paid for good childcare from people who were trained in that field. I hired a nanny BECAUSE my parents were selfish people who made tons of mistakes. When I look around at my peers, my parents were average. The difference? I'm humble enough not to think I know better. I read tons of books, took classes, AND hired professionals.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:47
Subject: Re:At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
I don’t remember ever thinking I’d be a SAHM as a child but I always wanted to be a mom. As far as career goals, as a child I always wanted to be a teacher and I remember thinking about how if I was a teacher then I’d get to be with my kids more than if I had a different job so I imagined that would be a good job to have as a parent. But never specifically dreamed of being a SAHM.
I did become a teacher and then wound up becoming a SAHM when my oldest was born because as it turns out, teaching is very emotionally draining and all-consuming similar to parenting and I didn’t think I could give my all as a teacher and as a parent simultaneously. I think for me my childhood ambitions were actually very much predictive of my adulthood goals. But that’s not the case for most people. Most kids I have known aspired to be something much less practical or realistic (like a professional athlete or movie star, or my son currently wants to be a professional video game player 😂 etc) whereas I was setting my sights on more boring/less exciting but more attainable goals.
I did become a teacher and then wound up becoming a SAHM when my oldest was born because as it turns out, teaching is very emotionally draining and all-consuming similar to parenting and I didn’t think I could give my all as a teacher and as a parent simultaneously. I think for me my childhood ambitions were actually very much predictive of my adulthood goals. But that’s not the case for most people. Most kids I have known aspired to be something much less practical or realistic (like a professional athlete or movie star, or my son currently wants to be a professional video game player 😂 etc) whereas I was setting my sights on more boring/less exciting but more attainable goals.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:46
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.
I stay home because my husband has a very demanding and high paying job. It was hard for both of us to have big jobs. I would continue to work if he didn’t earn a seven figure income. Even if he earned 500 or 600, I would probably still be working.
This, plus significant saving would be the only way I would be a SAHM. I don't particularly like working, but I like being dependent and/or vulnerable much less than working.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:44
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.
I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?
DP
Obviously no one cam understand it for you. Clearly your brain is so rotten you don't follow simple logic.
If PP's aunt had a job BEFORE her husband died, she could transfer health insurance to her employer and might have been able to pay the mortgage and help salvage her children's grieving lives. Yes, she would have still been devastated. Her life would have been hard, AND she may have been able to help her family remain stable.
How is this hard to understand for you? Nevermind, I actually do understand how not using your brain can cause it to atrophy.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:42
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.
I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?
Yes? It took significant time for her to get back to working at the same level she was before she quit, and in that in between time they lost their house.
The majority of folks in this area (and actually in the entire country) would lose their house if either half of the couple died, even if both have always worked full time. The reality is that if your aunt had never stayed home they would most likely have just purchased a more expensive house and they STILL would have lost it.
The real lesson from your aunt’s story is that they should have had more life insurance on your uncle.
My husband and I also structure our lives so we effectively live on one income and save the rest. But that's also because we have no desire for a giant house or fancy cars.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:31
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?
OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.
Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.
It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.
Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.
Np. We have a warm home. My kids do chores. DH is a partner. I’m not anyone’s servant.
Hahahahahaha.
You mean he hasn't cheated....yet....
Just wait.
DH is not that type. Even if we were to divorce, I would be fine financially. I would take one of our properties. I have my own money and I would also take half our marital assets. No prenup.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:26
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?
OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.
Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.
It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.
Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.
Np. We have a warm home. My kids do chores. DH is a partner. I’m not anyone’s servant.
Hahahahahaha.
You mean he hasn't cheated....yet....
Just wait.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 14:03
Subject: Re:At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
At the age that she reaches after holding her baby and realizing she can choose to provide the best care for that baby by devoting her time for a few years, or a lot of years.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 13:49
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.
I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?
Why are you harassing someone who has a different opinion and life experience than you? PP saw how scared and unstable her family was and made different choices to feel safe and secure. You are being disingenuous trying to prove whatever your point about sahms is.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 13:39
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
well- i was raised in a culture where i was raised to be a sahm but i always wanted to have a career- i observed this happening to several women in my culture and i saw them struggling. . I knew then that once i had kids i'd stay home with them but get a HUGE disability/life insurance and save a lot so if god forbid something happens, i can stay home with the kids until they are in highschool. I think women should really lean in to their careers before they have kids but really save up so they have a cushion in case the worst happens. if you have no real interests outside of kids- wonderful, please go into education and teach! I think its wonderful that the pendulem has swung back to where young men realise that the domestic sphere and motherhood are life altering and consuming and young mothers are vulnerable and deserve support from them. Millenial men would split a cheese sandwich on a date and didnt know how to change a tire, that generation of men was very tiresome so i can understand why the hard reaction against it.
Anonymous
01/21/2025 13:36
Subject: At what age does a girl decide she wants to grow up to be a SAHM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I never wanted to be a SAHM because I saw what happened when my uncle was killed by a drunk driver. The life insurance money wasn't enough and they had to move, my aunt had to get back to work as a nurse.
So you're going to work because your aunt had to work?
Because relying on someone else for income can be unstable. I learned from this lesson to carry enough life insurance to pay for my house of something happened but also to never put myself in a situation where I can't support myself.
I don’t get it. Your aunt didn’t work; then she did work. What did her period of not working have to do with the tragedy of her husband dying unexpectedly and their lives being upended? Do you think if she had worked continuously that whole time Dad dying wouldn’t have had any financial impact to the family?
Yes? It took significant time for her to get back to working at the same level she was before she quit, and in that in between time they lost their house.
The majority of folks in this area (and actually in the entire country) would lose their house if either half of the couple died, even if both have always worked full time. The reality is that if your aunt had never stayed home they would most likely have just purchased a more expensive house and they STILL would have lost it.
The real lesson from your aunt’s story is that they should have had more life insurance on your uncle.