PP above and DH “doing laundry” means packing the washer with as much as he can cram in there, adding too much detergent, running it all on hot, forgetting to toss in the dryer so it sits there and gets mildewy.

I have to remove all/separate and re wash and dry.

Or he’ll shove all in the dryer on high (it will take forever) and I’ll be horrified to discover that my delicates like bras were washed with bath towels and worse, kitchen towels.

I’ve banned him from *my*laundry room. I provide full-service; stain treat, quick wash, delicate wash, bleach/antibacterial wash, hand wash/clothesline or flat dry, certain items get washed inside out, etc.

I also clean the filters and laundry sink.

Call it weaponized incompetence or learned helplessness on DH part and/or I will admit that I’m a control freak, but I’ve done DH laundry the entirety of our nearly 30 year marriage.

He does the cooking, shopping, meal prep.

Laundry is probably my favorite homemaking chore. My grown DC bring laundry home sometimes and I’ll happily wash/dry/fold for them.

We have pro lawncare and a cleaning service. All’s fair.

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and yes I do his laundry. I think it’s weird that someone would do their own laundry and their kids’ laundry but exclude their husband’s. My husband is the cook of the house—it would be like him cooking for himself and the kids but not for me.

It would be like just cooking for himself and the kids if you all ate separate meals at separate times.
I mean, a lot of people pack lunch for their kids and themselves, but not their spouse.

I think this is one of those things where attitude matters. If you are in the house much of the day it might make sense for you to run the washes for him and to be a helpful spouse that’s the kind of thing I would try to do if I SAH, but I wouldn’t want to be treated like hired help with the expectation that it’s always done on a particular schedule, folded and put away - particularly if you SAH with small children.

We both work and DH actually handles much of the laundry particularly folding. He doesnt really mind doing it while watching tv. We both run washes as we see laundry piling up in the laundry baskets.

Anonymous wrote:I work full time and yes I do his laundry. I think it’s weird that someone would do their own laundry and their kids’ laundry but exclude their husband’s. My husband is the cook of the house—it would be like him cooking for himself and the kids but not for me.

I’m sorry, have you actually been reading the thread and grokking the details as to HOW OFTEN her husband changes clothes and towels?

This isn’t a “normal” amount of husband laundry being contemptuously excluded. Her husband has some sort of mental problem when it comes to clean clothes, and there is no reason that needs to be OP’s responsibility to deal with.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I do his laundry. He also piles his dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. But he earns the money that keeps the family in a very comfortable life so that’s me playing my part in keeping him comfortable too.

It would be hard for me to have self-respect in that scenario. Does he leave messes at work for people to clean up?

I work full time and yes I do his laundry. I think it’s weird that someone would do their own laundry and their kids’ laundry but exclude their husband’s. My husband is the cook of the house—it would be like him cooking for himself and the kids but not for me.

Anonymous wrote:I have a husband like this and his hamper is full after 1.5 days. To his credit, he has started to use his towels more than a day. But it’s something like:
Morning shower, night shirt and boxers in hamper
Work
Shower, work socks and boxers and shirt in hamper
before bedtime shower, if he worked out all of those clothes go in (shirt, shorts, boxers, socks)
If it’s trash night he takes a shower after taking the trash out, and then those clothes have to go in hamper (shirt, boxers, socks, sweatshirt, jeans).

He does have OCD or ADHD or something. I absolutely do not do all his laundry even though I SAH with school aged kid. We have separate hampers now and I feel happier.

Therapy. That’s insane.

Of course I do DH laundry. I find it a little weird that you make him do his own laundry. Does he charge you rent or something?

Anonymous wrote:I work full-time, make half the money, and do all the laundry. I just don't find laundry that difficult.

+1 There are many other things my husband does that I can't or don't want to do, and I don't mind doing laundry.

No I am a SAHW and our housekeeper does our laundry.

I work full-time, make half the money, and do all the laundry. I just don't find laundry that difficult.

Yes I do his laundry. He also piles his dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper. But he earns the money that keeps the family in a very comfortable life so that’s me playing my part in keeping him comfortable too.

My dh is like yours and leaves his clothes / towels all over so it’s a hard NO for me. If he can’t do the basics not a chance in hell I’m going around and picking it up off the floor to wash for him

Just skip the wash and put his still-clean clothes and towels back in the basket with the washed stuff.