You already did. If the house is open to rentals you can send him the link to the rental. I’m not sure why the brother called you about it but in the future, let your wife say no. In reality it shouldn’t matter (assuming the deed is in both you and your wife’s name) who says no.

How is ironic that she is from NC? That sounds more coincidental than ironic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

+1. An emotional claim is valid, even though it’s not legal. I think OP would let brother use the cottage in other circumstances, i.e. a family trip with BIL, new wife, step son together, or really any other thing besides a frat party for that reason, rather than being all “well ACKSHULLY you have no legal ownership so pound sand buddy!” about it.

I don’t know why this has to be some big deal. Unsupervised frat parties aren’t allowed, but he can still visit when it works with OP’s schedule. He’ll get over it. Every snap reaction minor hissy fit that comes along is not worth starting a fight, jeez.

Beach rental in OBX routinely run $5000 a week and up. There are 12 weeks in a summer. You don't see the big deal in offering someone else's 60 grand away for free?

I think the BIL has found the thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

+1. An emotional claim is valid, even though it’s not legal. I think OP would let brother use the cottage in other circumstances, i.e. a family trip with BIL, new wife, step son together, or really any other thing besides a frat party for that reason, rather than being all “well ACKSHULLY you have no legal ownership so pound sand buddy!” about it.

I don’t know why this has to be some big deal. Unsupervised frat parties aren’t allowed, but he can still visit when it works with OP’s schedule. He’ll get over it. Every snap reaction minor hissy fit that comes along is not worth starting a fight, jeez.

Anonymous wrote:Is this outlandish request par for the course with the brother or out of left field?

I’m curious about this too! The nerve of this dude. If he’s so offended by hearing a very reasonable “No. That won’t work for us.” then an estrangement doesn’t seem like too sad of a thing. Hopefully he’ll realize in time how ridiculous he was being. In the meantime, I’d definitely install locks and cameras.

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

Your BIL can use some of the $400k extra he got to rent a beach house for the frat boys for the summer.

Have your wife say no. Change the locks. Get cameras you can monitor. What he did was wrong.

My grandmother has multiple homes including a beautiful condo in South Florida. I just saw one of my younger cousins threw a bachelorette for herself there with 9 people! I also found out she and her parents told my uncle who is the POA (my grandmother has health issues/dementia) that it was just her going down (and maybe her MOH) not 9 people. It was a huge liability for my grandmother.

I ended up getting a call from a neighbor (my uncle has no cell phone don’t ask me why) saying it was loud and unruly and wondered who was there. This is a very secure and luxury building with policies and limits on guests. But like your extended family my aunt most likely told her daughter to tell my uncle it was just her / just her and one friend. No way would he allow 9 people in a 2 bedroom condo!

It infuriates me because these people use it then break stuff. Same aunt above most likely broke a washing machine 2x and didn’t fix or buy another one. She is wealthy and can afford to buy or get someone in to fix it. They just leave the items broken for the cleaner to tell us about or the next person to figure out. It’s rude and inconsiderate and these are adults who are well-off and multiple homes of their own.

When it’s not their own home people usually treat places like junk.

There is no way I would allow it let alone frat boys. It’s also a huge liability. They know you have $ if something happens to them or someone else you’re insurance will be sued. Not worth it!

And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

This thread is so DCUM. The brother in law doesn’t think he has a legal claim. He has an emotional one. If his parents had bought this house in their retirement, he had never been there, and his sister bought him out, he wouldn’t feel he had a claim to it.
He probably doesn’t have children of his own, and feels this is a chance to live vicariously through his step son and recreate memories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inheritance is not considered community property in Virginia or most other states.

It is if both names are on the deed of the house - which it sounds like it is.

+1

When my mother died the will stated, by name, that the children of Jane W. Doe, and their spouses, stated by name, are to share the proceeds of her house sale equally. The grand kids were not named. I presume this because it would unfairly dilute the distribution as two of us have 2 kids and my sister has 4.

This discussion of community property and inheritance is moot. OP said both spouse's names are on the deed, so that trumps all. It is legally owned by the people whose names are now on the deed.

Anonymous wrote:Inheritance is not considered community property in Virginia or most other states.

BS

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t co-own it, your wife is the owner. Her inheritance, not yours. So her decision.

Found the idiot that doesn't know about community property.

^Found the idiot who doesn't know the most basic point of inheritance laws.

What "basic point of inheritance law" invalidates community property provisions?*

* you don't need to answer because there is none, I just wanted to reiterate how dumb you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t co-own it, your wife is the owner. Her inheritance, not yours. So her decision.

Bingo! You don't own half OP.

Oh, you know what state they live in and whether it is a community property state? Because if OP is in VA, MD, or DC (all community property states) they most certainly own half.

Try getting an education.