Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (25) went and did the one thing I always advised her never to do: get a tattoo. It’s of a hippopotamus and is really ugly. I just can’t understand why someone would get a tattoo of a hippo! I’ll admit it’s well-done but this is just disappointing. I’ve always said, ever since she was a little girl, that tattoos are a bad idea. She said that “she wanted to do it for a long time” and “it has nothing to do with me” but I somehow doubt that. I just am SO disappointed. Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

My parents' one and only rule, NO tattoos. This was a non negotiable. One of my sisters got a "tramp" stamp while in college and she admittedly was absolutely stoned out of her mind when she got it. One day she was helping rinse off my parent's patio before a family barbecue bent over and Dad saw it, ugh he was beyond angry. Having lost family in the Holocaust who obviously had tattooed numbers on them was a sacred thing to him and my mother. They did nothing then, but she was cut out of the will when my dad died.

He sounds awful. Bet he was controlling in other ways too. What a jerk.

How is that controlling? He had some rules and she violated them. He didn't stop her from mutilating her body. But there were consequences.

I loathe tatoos, but that was punitive and dumb on his part.

Why? She tried to lie and cover it up. Is inking your skin really that important? She could have just not done it but she did so she should have just owned it in the first place. Maybe if she had talked to him rationally things would have been different.

No, the father is a jerk. His adult daughter doesn't need to tell him anything considering how he reacts. She knew he would never react well.

Then she can't cry when there are consequences. If she wants a big girl tattoo, knowing her father's preferences, that's how the cookie crumbles.

That's a wild overreaction and quite the FU to his daughter whose choice didn't actually impact him in any way. Just another controlling ahole who obviously had other issues.

+1 you'd think someone who lost family in the holocaust would be less casual about throwing out his own children - and would have more of a sense of proportionality. guess pp made out, though, so why would she be upset.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (25) went and did the one thing I always advised her never to do: get a tattoo. It’s of a hippopotamus and is really ugly. I just can’t understand why someone would get a tattoo of a hippo! I’ll admit it’s well-done but this is just disappointing. I’ve always said, ever since she was a little girl, that tattoos are a bad idea. She said that “she wanted to do it for a long time” and “it has nothing to do with me” but I somehow doubt that. I just am SO disappointed. Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

My parents' one and only rule, NO tattoos. This was a non negotiable. One of my sisters got a "tramp" stamp while in college and she admittedly was absolutely stoned out of her mind when she got it. One day she was helping rinse off my parent's patio before a family barbecue bent over and Dad saw it, ugh he was beyond angry. Having lost family in the Holocaust who obviously had tattooed numbers on them was a sacred thing to him and my mother. They did nothing then, but she was cut out of the will when my dad died.

Thats disgusting. What awful parents.

indeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

I’d much rather have a child who gets a tattoo than a child who grows up to be a stuck-up jerk like you!

Absolutely. Me too.

Your daughter knows you are disappointed. Don’t push your values on her or you will alienate her fast. She is an adult and gets to make her own choices about her body. You may not like her choice but you have to respect it. That is how you show unconditional love.

Anonymous wrote:dealing with lymphoma right now, would be devastated if my kids got one...raises lymphoma risk 20 percent and btw like colon cancer lymphoma rates are rising for unknown reasons.

Thank you for this. I’ll let my kids know.

-NP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (25) went and did the one thing I always advised her never to do: get a tattoo. It’s of a hippopotamus and is really ugly. I just can’t understand why someone would get a tattoo of a hippo! I’ll admit it’s well-done but this is just disappointing. I’ve always said, ever since she was a little girl, that tattoos are a bad idea. She said that “she wanted to do it for a long time” and “it has nothing to do with me” but I somehow doubt that. I just am SO disappointed. Ugh. What’s a mom to do?

My parents' one and only rule, NO tattoos. This was a non negotiable. One of my sisters got a "tramp" stamp while in college and she admittedly was absolutely stoned out of her mind when she got it. One day she was helping rinse off my parent's patio before a family barbecue bent over and Dad saw it, ugh he was beyond angry. Having lost family in the Holocaust who obviously had tattooed numbers on them was a sacred thing to him and my mother. They did nothing then, but she was cut out of the will when my dad died.

Thats disgusting. What awful parents.

I get it OP, I hate tattoos with a passion. On both men and women. They are so ugly 99% of the time.

But you need to realize that your child is their own person. Of course I will share my personal opinions about tattoos with my kids. And advise they wait until mid twenties before getting any tattoos. But you can’t control your adult child’s decision.

But totally agree that her tattoo sounds heinous.

Anonymous wrote:Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

I’d much rather have a child who gets a tattoo than a child who grows up to be a stuck-up jerk like you!

Bummer about the tattoo. We raised our kids to see what kind of people get tattoos in their youth, and our kids never wanted to be seen as being one of those. Worked like a charm.

I'd be disappointed too. I have boys and 10-year old just said that it would be dumb thing to do.
It fits some people though. Mine wouldn't do it because of money already. Not a good use of funds. Money doesn't grow on trees.

I think if your kid is 25 and your biggest disappointment is one measly tattoo, you aught to get down on your hands and knees and thank your lucky stars for an amazing kid. Big picture.

It was your decision to put too much importance on this, of all the things that could be important to you about how your adult dd lives her life. Working in health care I see unclothed bodies all day long and I’ll tell you tattoos are more the norm than not and on the under 30 crowd they’re ubiquitous. My 20 something dd has two, they are beautiful and only visible to others if she wants them to be, both carry a lot of meaning for her. I love them and am glad she shared their meanings with me. Hope you can get to a better place on this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I would be disappointed also. Please ignore the meanies. You are allowed to be upset about your adult children's choices whether it's a tattoo or something bigger.

+1 NP.

I'm sorry, I would be disappointed also. Please ignore the meanies. You are allowed to be upset about your adult children's choices whether it's a tattoo or something bigger.

I would feel exactly like you OP.