Anonymous wrote:Drive your kids straight to school and pick them up every day. You were threatened by a gun owner and we all have seen this play out, you're reaction is normal

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at 15 families all being close friends with each other, all attending the same private school, which has multiple (!!!) bus stops in the same small neighborhood?

WTH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a wild story. Why didn’t anybody call the cops when he was “ and the dad came to the door with a cocked gun in his hand, waving it around, and ranting that he was going to end it all, he had checked his life insurance policy”?

To answer your question, I could never get past that. I wouldn’t trust him or his wife. I feel bad for their children, but you have to think of your safety first. does he have any criminal records?

And according to the OP, the husband wrestled the gun out of his hands? I don't believe this really happened.

Anonymous wrote:This is a wild story. Why didn’t anybody call the cops when he was “ and the dad came to the door with a cocked gun in his hand, waving it around, and ranting that he was going to end it all, he had checked his life insurance policy”?

To answer your question, I could never get past that. I wouldn’t trust him or his wife. I feel bad for their children, but you have to think of your safety first. does he have any criminal records?

Anonymous wrote:All of you calling troll: I'm very glad none of you have had to deal with something like this in your (charmed) life, but unfortunately addiction, mental illness and easy access to guns is a reality for many Americans. I don't doubt OP's story for a second.

Anonymous wrote:If this is real, it includes way too many details for a message board. These people could easily be identified from what you’ve shared.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what state you're in, but as others have said, I would use the collective strength and resources of the FOURTEEN families to at least understand what is needed for this man to get taken in by the police. Is his children fearing for their life not enough? What evidence is needed and do all of you have bits and pieces to eventually build a case?

My heart breaks for those three girls. I cant imagine. But as others have said, if I really thought my family was in danger and nothing could be done, I would move.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a third party? Isn't much you can do. Tell the potential victim to get a retraining order.
Stay far away from that dad. I would never trust them again. Wouldn't want them in my house, yard, etc.

I'm sorry this is happening.

Anonymous wrote:I get that you like your neighborhood and house, but as long as he’s there, you can’t enjoy what you’ve always enjoyed about it anyway. You can’t send your kids out without worry. You can’t have parties all the time because you’ll be worried he’s going to show up and do something horrible.

Yeah - the mom doesn’t get a pass. You can’t turn off your cellphone when your kids are in danger and get any sympathy.

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

This man is in an advanced state of paranoia, and he's in a very dangerous state of mind. This might be brought about by untreated bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and a host of other psychiatric disorders. Episodes can also be triggered or worsened by cannabis, alcohol or other drugs.

The wife is in great danger if she leaves her husband, and she puts the lives of her children at risk as well if she leaves without them.

I don't think many posters on this thread understand this. She will be the first to be shot if she counters him in any way, because he likely views her as "his property", and he will not accept remonstrations or "abandonment" from that quarter.

This is the classic scenario of a deeply paranoid male, and femicides the world over attest to the risk this mother faces.

So shame on all the posters criticizing this woman.

That being said, yes, it would be great if this man was diagnosed, treated with medication and then, when he's less of a danger to himself, if his wife could leave him (because he's never going to be well). But this is fraught. Most people who suffer from paranoid delusions refuse treatment, and it's practically impossible to get an involuntary psychiatric hold and forced medications.

So you can ask the woman closest to her, to have a talk with her about this options. Or you can make a coffee appointment with her to walk her through this: she would need to consult and attorney and a psychiatrist. But the reality is that she's stuck really badly and it will take monstrous effort on her part to get out with her girls safely.

What you can do is control your own life and that of your family.

I would persuade the other families to send some representatives to see the school Principal, and ask that this man be barred from the school grounds. That his photo be memorized by front desk staff and that security protocols be reinforced in terms of door locks and enforcing that no one holds the door open for anyone else. No exterior door can be left propped open, even when it's hot. Everyone needs to be buzzed in separately, and go to the office first. They need to practice mass shooter drills if they haven't already.

If the mother is not willing to persuade her husband to seek psychiatric help, and the school seems lax in enforcing security protocols, then I would consider changing schools. Historically, men like these tend not to show up at your single family home to shoot you. They go to schools and commit mass murder, or they murder-suicide their families at home. This means you can continue to live in your house, as long as your kids don't go to that school. I hope the people specifically named by him get a restraining order, but it won't stop a delusional person from shooting.

Best of luck navigating this. You're going to need it.