Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 17:19     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We just started at a small private school in 9th grade, and our DD is clearly having some issues adjusting and fitting in. We are on financial aid, so we already are different in that we are outliers in that we drive old cars and both parents work full time -- I actually have the more demanding job so DH is often the one picking up or going to school functions, and he's usually the only Dad for all those things.

But one issue I know is weighing on my DD, judging from her new interest in diet and "healthy eating", is that she is on the high end of the size scale. Honestly, our ped has been somewhat worried about here since her BMI hit 25, but we are wary since we have a family history of eating disorders (grandparents) and it seemed to have originated with the pandemic so we are hoping will wane as she grows.

Her entire school is full of thin and athletic girls, many do a demanding travel sport or even two a season -- a few girls seem to be flying for tennis tournaments every other week. Our DD was doing rec soccer until her team dissolved, and now she doesn't really have any interest in sports and says she won't make the cut for her schools team in any sport since the other students all did travel sports when they were younger.

I'm at a loss of what to do. We try and lead a healthy lifestyle, eating home cooked meals most days, packing a good home made lunch, go on family walks after dinner. I'm a healthy weight and take a yoga class on the weekend, but my DH is definitely put on the pounds in middle age (I think he is sneaking treats at work, since he eats okay at home and even goes to the gym a few days a week). Is her problem stemming from the bad modeling by my DH, should I put him on the irons to lose weight (or even go on GLP1 or something)?

Anyone have any insight into how all these svelte classmates ALL seem to keep slim? I honestly am surprised there is so little varaition; they were all sizes at our public middle school, even within the "wealthier" families. Any tips on how to get DD more active under these scenarios and push her to truly healthy eating (right now she eats too often, even if food is healthy, and is always wanting a snack).



This sounds like total chatgpt trolling


Wow my grammar must be improving if I’m confused for AI!


Svelte? GTFO with this ai shit
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 17:18     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
BMI of 25 is def chunky. Above that is fat.

She will be remembered as the big girl.

Snacks = fruits and veggies and a few nuts. NO junk food in the house! That one is on you, mom.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:50     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:My kid does two travel sports (all her choice) and she is in great shape because of it. That is the way to get that body type.

Encourage health eating and does she want to get involved in a sport that is less popular at her school? I am thinking XC, track? Family walk around the neighborhood.

Also I worry about this school being a good fit


NP- Cross country is a really hard sport, and the girls (and boys) are usually very thin. So if not athletic, it's going to be hard, just the practices are absolutely grueling.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:31     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
My kid does two travel sports (all her choice) and she is in great shape because of it. That is the way to get that body type.

Encourage health eating and does she want to get involved in a sport that is less popular at her school? I am thinking XC, track? Family walk around the neighborhood.

Also I worry about this school being a good fit
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:29     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
I haven’t read all the replies. If this is a small private, don’t they require at least 1-2 seasons of sports participation? If not, I agree that I’d encourage it because it is a good way to stay healthy but just as importantly to bond with new classmates. There are always no cut sports.

If she doesnt have to do a sport and really doesnt want to, please encourage her to do some school activity (band, drama, newspaper, etc) to meet other girls.

Also, possibly she wants to participate athletically but feels self conscious, in which case she could consider a fitness class at the Y or an outside of school club like rowing or volleyball or martial arts.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:13     Subject: Re:Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
I was an overweight teenage girl--plump, not obese, but definitely overweight. I was also a social misfit. I lost 20 pounds between sophomore and junior year and thought that would cure my social problems. It didn't. I remained a social misfit. I regained 10 of the 20 pounds before high school graduation.

Then I went to college and lost 20 pounds plus my freshman year without trying. I never became homecoming queen but I built a good social network and dated.

I was happy. I'm one of those people who overeats when I'm unhappy. If OP's D is constantly snacking, it may be that eating is form of self-soothing. Getting busy helps somewhat with the constant snacking. Finding something she likes doing with people she likes will help even more. So, I would focus more on the daughter finding something she enjoys doing--even if it is not a sport. Yes, exercise is good for us but it rarely is a good way to lose weight. It has to be combined with some form of dieting for most people in order to lose weight. I don't think a ninth grader should be encouraged to diet. Healthy eating, yes. Dieting, no.

I'd listen to your D. Don't wade in with advice, at least in the beginning. She just needs a safe place to vent. Listen. Avoid offering advice. ESPECIALLY avoid offering advice about eating. But after a while, you might ask if there are any other new girls she might like to invite to do something. Not just hang out--go to a show, go to some outdoor event, or to see a women's sports team if she enjoys watching sports. Whatever. and let D pick the girl, even if the girl is thin and from a wealthy family. It just has to be someone else who is new and the D likes.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:07     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most teens seem thin so if your child is even a slightly overweight, she may be the odd one out.

My kids all have no fat and they eat tons of junk.


My DD finds it completely unfair that her friends' parents let them eat all the junk food they want and are thin. She's not thin and we definitely limit junk food (basically, one dessert a day, which is still a lot.) The responses to this post will be evenly split with parents saying an overweight kid shouldn't get a dessert a day... and parents saying that by restricting food we are headed toward an eating disorder. It's a struggle EVERY DAY.


My daughter is very skinny but loves to eat. She has the eating habits of an overweight child but she is stick skinny. She eats dessert everyday. She loves ice cream, chips, cookies and chocolate. I don’t know how she is underweight. At he last check up, she was 18th percentile in weight.


We're not all equal when it comes to weight gain. That's why Ozempic is such a miracle. It evens out the playing field.


It really doesn’t. Some of us don’t have to give ourselves expensive injections.


And some of us do and now we look skinny like you. Oh well.


But with saggy skin and drooping faces. We know ozempic when we see it
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:02     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most teens seem thin so if your child is even a slightly overweight, she may be the odd one out.

My kids all have no fat and they eat tons of junk.


My DD finds it completely unfair that her friends' parents let them eat all the junk food they want and are thin. She's not thin and we definitely limit junk food (basically, one dessert a day, which is still a lot.) The responses to this post will be evenly split with parents saying an overweight kid shouldn't get a dessert a day... and parents saying that by restricting food we are headed toward an eating disorder. It's a struggle EVERY DAY.


My daughter is very skinny but loves to eat. She has the eating habits of an overweight child but she is stick skinny. She eats dessert everyday. She loves ice cream, chips, cookies and chocolate. I don’t know how she is underweight. At he last check up, she was 18th percentile in weight.


We're not all equal when it comes to weight gain. That's why Ozempic is such a miracle. It evens out the playing field.


It really doesn’t. Some of us don’t have to give ourselves expensive injections.


And some of us do and now we look skinny like you. Oh well.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 16:00     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:You can ask your daughter if she wants to apply to a different private school for next year. I think just visiting a much wider variety of schools will help her see that her current school does not represent the norm. It might be time to admit that this school was not a great fit.


This girl just started high school at this new school. It’s been what a few weeks? I would ask that she give it one year then reassess. A few weeks is not nearly enough time.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:59     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most teens seem thin so if your child is even a slightly overweight, she may be the odd one out.

My kids all have no fat and they eat tons of junk.


My DD finds it completely unfair that her friends' parents let them eat all the junk food they want and are thin. She's not thin and we definitely limit junk food (basically, one dessert a day, which is still a lot.) The responses to this post will be evenly split with parents saying an overweight kid shouldn't get a dessert a day... and parents saying that by restricting food we are headed toward an eating disorder. It's a struggle EVERY DAY.


My daughter is very skinny but loves to eat. She has the eating habits of an overweight child but she is stick skinny. She eats dessert everyday. She loves ice cream, chips, cookies and chocolate. I don’t know how she is underweight. At he last check up, she was 18th percentile in weight.


We're not all equal when it comes to weight gain. That's why Ozempic is such a miracle. It evens out the playing field.


It really doesn’t. Some of us don’t have to give ourselves expensive injections.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:58     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is there not cross country right now? That doesn't usually have cuts and is a great way to stay active. She could also join a club swim team that's designed purely for staying in shape. Most clubs have at least one or two practice options for this goal.


She hates running, she always prefers games over running — too boring.

Yeah she can't refuse to participate in sports and complain she is overweight. It's ok to not like doing sports but then you have to accept you won't be lean like the athletic girls.
Btw this won't fly in our house our kids have to do a sport at school each season. We don't do travel or club but the least is participating in the activities offered at our public school.


That’s not true, a lot of this is genetic. I was always a toothpick but hated sports. Tons of girls at my high school were in sports but quite thick.


This.
I have two girls. One is built like me: sturdy and athletic. She's a top travel soccer player (ECNL) and eats a completely clean diet. One is built like my husband: like a pencil. She never exercises and eats junk food.
So much of this is genes.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:58     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have not read the entire thread but back in the 70's, 80's and 90's all kids in public schools were normal weights. Even kids in poorer areas of Maryland were normal weight. In my classes we probably had 1 student who might have been 10 or 15 pounds heavier but there was not the morbid obesity of today.

Students and families maintained their weight by eating 3 healthy meals a day. We did not have snacks between meals. Girls did sports but not at the level of today.


lol. Pp thinks no one ate snacks before 2000.


I was born in '76 and we ate snack every day after school, and as teens sometimes after dinner too.


You ate “snacks.” Eating “snack” sounds like a 3 year old being offered a Ritz cracker and a Dixie cup of apple juice at nursery school.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:57     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
You can ask your daughter if she wants to apply to a different private school for next year. I think just visiting a much wider variety of schools will help her see that her current school does not represent the norm. It might be time to admit that this school was not a great fit.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:56     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We just started at a small private school in 9th grade, and our DD is clearly having some issues adjusting and fitting in. We are on financial aid, so we already are different in that we are outliers in that we drive old cars and both parents work full time -- I actually have the more demanding job so DH is often the one picking up or going to school functions, and he's usually the only Dad for all those things.

But one issue I know is weighing on my DD, judging from her new interest in diet and "healthy eating", is that she is on the high end of the size scale. Honestly, our ped has been somewhat worried about here since her BMI hit 25, but we are wary since we have a family history of eating disorders (grandparents) and it seemed to have originated with the pandemic so we are hoping will wane as she grows.

Her entire school is full of thin and athletic girls, many do a demanding travel sport or even two a season -- a few girls seem to be flying for tennis tournaments every other week. Our DD was doing rec soccer until her team dissolved, and now she doesn't really have any interest in sports and says she won't make the cut for her schools team in any sport since the other students all did travel sports when they were younger.

I'm at a loss of what to do. We try and lead a healthy lifestyle, eating home cooked meals most days, packing a good home made lunch, go on family walks after dinner. I'm a healthy weight and take a yoga class on the weekend, but my DH is definitely put on the pounds in middle age (I think he is sneaking treats at work, since he eats okay at home and even goes to the gym a few days a week). Is her problem stemming from the bad modeling by my DH, should I put him on the irons to lose weight (or even go on GLP1 or something)?

Anyone have any insight into how all these svelte classmates ALL seem to keep slim? I honestly am surprised there is so little varaition; they were all sizes at our public middle school, even within the "wealthier" families. Any tips on how to get DD more active under these scenarios and push her to truly healthy eating (right now she eats too often, even if food is healthy, and is always wanting a snack).



This sounds like total chatgpt trolling


Wow my grammar must be improving if I’m confused for AI!
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2024 15:56     Subject: Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most teens seem thin so if your child is even a slightly overweight, she may be the odd one out.

My kids all have no fat and they eat tons of junk.


My DD finds it completely unfair that her friends' parents let them eat all the junk food they want and are thin. She's not thin and we definitely limit junk food (basically, one dessert a day, which is still a lot.) The responses to this post will be evenly split with parents saying an overweight kid shouldn't get a dessert a day... and parents saying that by restricting food we are headed toward an eating disorder. It's a struggle EVERY DAY.


My daughter is very skinny but loves to eat. She has the eating habits of an overweight child but she is stick skinny. She eats dessert everyday. She loves ice cream, chips, cookies and chocolate. I don’t know how she is underweight. At he last check up, she was 18th percentile in weight.


We're not all equal when it comes to weight gain. That's why Ozempic is such a miracle. It evens out the playing field.


For lazy pigss