Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you toured the top 20 schools in the last 2 years and actually noticed the students at these schools? Have you seen the kids on the tours with you? The demographic of top 20 schools has changed drastically. The kids attending skew nerdy and awkward. If you are more of a “smart, social kid that likes to party” type, the Ivy and Ivy+ are not that appealing — especially if you are already a part of the 1%. The top 20s used to be filled with kids like this, but those days are gone.

this ^ 100% - I advise kids and invariably it is the parents and hard core nerds looking for ivies. The cool, relaxed, athletic, social - and most of all, smart - kids want the Dukes, Vandies, SMU, UCLAs of the world. The tide shifted post covid and is only accelerating. Often a big disconnect between the striving parent (just saw this term on another post - luv it) who is ivy or bust, and what the kid wants. And where the kid doesn’t get a say, it’s almost as if they are robots saying “yes, I want ivy”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you toured the top 20 schools in the last 2 years and actually noticed the students at these schools? Have you seen the kids on the tours with you? The demographic of top 20 schools has changed drastically. The kids attending skew nerdy and awkward. If you are more of a “smart, social kid that likes to party” type, the Ivy and Ivy+ are not that appealing — especially if you are already a part of the 1%. The top 20s used to be filled with kids like this, but those days are gone.

this ^ 100% - I advise kids and invariably it is the parents and hard core nerds looking for ivies. The cool, relaxed, athletic, social - and most of all, smart - kids want the Dukes, Vandies, SMU, UCLAs of the world. The tide shifted post covid and is only accelerating. Often a big disconnect between the striving parent (just saw this term on another post - luv it) who is ivy or bust, and what the kid wants. And where the kid doesn’t get a say, it’s almost as if they are robots saying “yes, I want ivy”

Duke is not laid back social partiers who are somewhat smart anymore. It is not the 80s and 90s. I went there c/o 91. Duke now is nerds and more nerds, maybe more social than some ivies but not by much. Most of my classmates would not get in now. Most of their kids do not: it is the nerdy ones, kids of nerds like me, who do. 85-90% of legacies are denied. We have one there and her brother is a senior at at a top ivy, and we have relatives at another ivy. The ivies and ivy+ are all of that same mold--they have 75% of students who are 99th percentile testers AND were also at or near the top of their high school. They are highly driven students with interviews/cuts to get into all the top clubs, loads of premeds and prelaw or finance bro types chasing wall street, with some niche-subject phD strivers thrown in. They all have research or internships during the semester, and are all in on club leadership. They drink far less at Duke than back in the 90s, yet the majority still does some drinking, but on average not every weekend once the semester ramps up. In that sense it is almost exactly the same as the ivy. Greek is not on campus, has not been for years, and less than half the student body participates in rush. The big difference is more sports-obsession with Duke Basketball--the nerd-centric students have even turned that into testing to tent which they study for weeks, for fun. Ivies do not have sports obsession.
The students from kids' prep school who went to UCLA/USC and SMU were a different mold and not nerdy, but also not 99th%ile top of the class/smartest kids, more like average (or below for SMU--kids in the bottom math levels and don't get into the stem APs).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highland Park

Chicago?

A lot of those kids aren't that academically competitive.

No, Dallas. But that’s the point. Just a very different mindset in different regions than DC\NE. Many of them have the same natural intelligence as NE. Don’t be an elitist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a wealthy part of Los Angeles where there's a lot of self made success. The knock-on effect is that there's lots of students at my kid's HS who have no ambition and as a result they have bad grades / fail classes and so on. They are going to graduate into wealth but without any ambition. It's weird and I think its a particular cultural quirk of the neighborhood we live in.

I worked for a guy in LA who did fairly decently with his small business. He wasn't very smart, but he was into fitness and sports. He didn't care about his kids' grades, but he cared a lot about their athletic abilities to the point he held two of his kids back so that they would be stronger and better athletes during recruiting season.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you toured the top 20 schools in the last 2 years and actually noticed the students at these schools? Have you seen the kids on the tours with you? The demographic of top 20 schools has changed drastically. The kids attending skew nerdy and awkward. If you are more of a “smart, social kid that likes to party” type, the Ivy and Ivy+ are not that appealing — especially if you are already a part of the 1%. The top 20s used to be filled with kids like this, but those days are gone.

this ^ 100% - I advise kids and invariably it is the parents and hard core nerds looking for ivies. The cool, relaxed, athletic, social - and most of all, smart - kids want the Dukes, Vandies, SMU, UCLAs of the world. The tide shifted post covid and is only accelerating. Often a big disconnect between the striving parent (just saw this term on another post - luv it) who is ivy or bust, and what the kid wants. And where the kid doesn’t get a say, it’s almost as if they are robots saying “yes, I want ivy”

^You must be in the south and "advise" really dumb kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would imagine LA is like this.

It is. It’s not nearly as brand name conscious as DMV or NY ‘burbs. USC is the big enchilada here.

wtf are you talking about? Harvard Westlake and other LA prep schools send tons of kids to East Coast schools.

Also, kids don’t want to stay in their hometown for college…so USC isn’t the big enchilada for LA kids.

LA kids rather want to go to USC than UCLA.
That's for sure.

Maybe...but LA kids want to leave LA for college, no different than NYC kids for the most part don't want to go to NYU or Columbia. Nothing against the school, but most kids want to attend college somewhere else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Bethesda where homes are 1.5M minimum and go to 5M+.

I have never felt competition from other families. The stress comes from competing against oneself. My kids want to get into the best college they can get into, based on their profile.

And it's funny, because once he attended all the Accepted Student Days, my son decided he preferred one of his safeties!!!

So really, OP, try to relax. Your kids will have to work hard no matter what. Just support them as best you can. They will end up where they end up. "Best fit" is where it's at.

I think you don't realize how closet competitive your neighbors are. And self-competition is up there, as is name brand seeking. I'm glad your family has navigated to shelter yourself from it all but Bethesda is NOT what OP is referring to.

Anonymous wrote:Scottsdale AZ. Great school and everyone ends up at U of A or ASU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would imagine LA is like this.

It is. It’s not nearly as brand name conscious as DMV or NY ‘burbs. USC is the big enchilada here.

wtf are you talking about? Harvard Westlake and other LA prep schools send tons of kids to East Coast schools.

Also, kids don’t want to stay in their hometown for college…so USC isn’t the big enchilada for LA kids.

LA kids rather want to go to USC than UCLA.
That's for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a post here a month or so ago re high net worth Blacks increasingly applying to schools in the West and South instead of Ivys/Top20 in the NE. including those you mention - Duke, Vandy, USC, UCLA, Tulane, Georgia + Howard and Spelman. So this is consistent.

Many of those responding wouldnt believe them. Not sure why.

This has nothing to do with OP's question.

Really? Not even a little bit?

No, it doesn't. An "area" isn't shared.

Anonymous wrote:We live in a wealthy part of Los Angeles where there's a lot of self made success. The knock-on effect is that there's lots of students at my kid's HS who have no ambition and as a result they have bad grades / fail classes and so on. They are going to graduate into wealth but without any ambition. It's weird and I think its a particular cultural quirk of the neighborhood we live in.

Anonymous wrote:I live in Bethesda where homes are 1.5M minimum and go to 5M+.

I have never felt competition from other families. The stress comes from competing against oneself. My kids want to get into the best college they can get into, based on their profile.

And it's funny, because once he attended all the Accepted Student Days, my son decided he preferred one of his safeties!!!

So really, OP, try to relax. Your kids will have to work hard no matter what. Just support them as best you can. They will end up where they end up. "Best fit" is where it's at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a post here a month or so ago re high net worth Blacks increasingly applying to schools in the West and South instead of Ivys/Top20 in the NE. including those you mention - Duke, Vandy, USC, UCLA, Tulane, Georgia + Howard and Spelman. So this is consistent.

Many of those responding wouldnt believe them. Not sure why.

This has nothing to do with OP's question.

Really? Not even a little bit?

No, it doesn't. An "area" isn't shared.