Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women talk about using condoms a lot. However in my real word experience I have had many women just ready to hop on me without asking for condoms especially women in their 30s/40s.

It's practically the norm for women to want to have sex with no condom. Very few, maybe 5% insisted on it and a few others were very glad to skip it when I told them I had a vasectomy. In my experience, women hate condoms just as much, or more than men. That really surprised me after my divorce 20 years ago. From all I've read, I thought for sure that practicing safe sex was the norm.

Anonymous wrote:"The idea of oral on some random 45 yo woman is kinda gross af, tbh."

How is the age of the woman relevant? You'd do that with a younger random woman?

Would you accept it from someone even if you wouldn't give it?

Anonymous wrote:Women talk about using condoms a lot. However in my real word experience I have had many women just ready to hop on me without asking for condoms especially women in their 30s/40s.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently got an STD. He lied about being tested. I had been tested.

Guy before him turned out to be married.

I think I am done.

Do people still show each other the STD exam results before sex?

Most don’t - just use condoms. But the thing is if there is still rubbing, touching or oral exchange - you are not protected from a number of STDs

I'm not going down on a woman I just met. I'll bone her, wrapped, but no oral.

The idea of oral on some random 45 yo woman is kinda gross af, tbh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A woman here - reading above makes me even more concerned. I always insist on condoms in addition to STI test swap (to ensure they don’t have herpes). Now I won’t deviate from my standards no matter what

Keep doing what you’re doing. I have to insist on condoms and many women are disappointed. They think because I have a vasectomy, that I’m fine with no condoms. Um, STIs? Hello?

I get tested quarterly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Yeah, when I was going through it I was surprised by the same thing. Especially the women who would say "no hookups" in their profile -- almost ALWAYS they were DTF immediately. One even brought a picture of the hotel room she'd booked for that night and handed it to me within the first hour when we met for drinks.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I’ve done some recent OLD and I’ve been surprised by how sexually available some of the women are on the first date. Prior to the dates neither their profiles nor calls or texts gave any indication. I’m a successful, decent looking and sane guy so maybe I’m a unicorn of some sort. I didn’t take any of them up on their offers and not because I’m a saint but because I wasn’t attracted to them for a bunch of reasons.

Male here. Late-50s. Same experience, albeit you are more saintly. In pretty much all cases, texted for a few days to a week (or even two given travel). Several professional women in the DC area were largely undressed on date 1. Another sent photos pre-date but there was no spark between us. Yet another told me about her waxing. I typically only sleep with women after 3-4 dates, when it is clearly something both of us want.

Men and women are not that different in their desires and needs. Each adult needs to decide for himself/herself without being judgements about how other adults choose to live their lives.

That’s not my experience as a woman: men always invite for dinners as first date; try to show their house etc. When I decline they quickly move to the next target. Also, everyone expects sex on 3-4 dates. If you don’t put out they think you are not that into them and move on quickly, becoming mean.
All executives, respected professionals. Also lack manners coking across hungry for sex. For example, would invite home, and turn music with remote at the doorway, then grab me and pull to sofa. Without offering tea or anything.
I never accept expensive dates invites but I do need to see the person more than 3 times before exposing my privates.

PP. YMMV. I have been repeatedly invited into women’s homes on the first date. It happens, among professionals in DC. It is important for anyone on OLD to know what she/he wants before going on a first or second or third date, but not presume that “all men are looking for sex” or “women are not looking for sex”.

I dated only professional men with public profiles and even then absolutely every single one expected sex after 3rd date. One even texted me I was wasting his time after I suggested an activity unrelated to dinner. It’s just the fact men out there behave like hos.
So I quit OLD altogether and enjoy my singlehood. Better than feeling like a piece of meat torn apart by hungry horndogs

I don’t think it’s unreasonable after the 3rd date. I may not be in love by any means but after 3 dates I’m either very interested or not. If not, I move on and no 4th date.

The issue is not me knowing if I want him or not after 3rd date. The issue is that men are hiding things that are IMPOSSIBLE to find out by date 3. To me it included: hiding a live-in GF, hiding he was ENM and sleeping with men; hiding he was in a bitter court battle with ex wife; a severe army brain trauma; not acceptable living conditions (resides with parents etc).

I am trying to pick a person first that matches me long term, then sleep with them. I would have slept with many people who are not my life matches if I did this on date 3. I do allow kissing and some making out around date 3-4.

I do think men should be dating not expecting sex on women on date 3. Just try following the logic: if she's nice, shows real interest by inviting you to dates herself etc.

Having sex too soon is a waste of time for men as well: you get entangled with a wrong person as it's harder to break up and keep dating while you are already sleeping with someone. I had men dump me and then reach out 6 months after when the woman they chose 6 months back didn't work out. Saying the woman was using them for money, for example. Of course she did, because she only slept with him on date 3 because she googled his corporate position.

Women are not stupid: if you are a man and have a great job, nice car women will sleep with you to stand out among their competition. But it doesn't mean a good match at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women talk about using condoms a lot. However in my real word experience I have had many women just ready to hop on me without asking for condoms especially women in their 30s/40s.

It's practically the norm for women to want to have sex with no condom. Very few, maybe 5% insisted on it and a few others were very glad to skip it when I told them I had a vasectomy. In my experience, women hate condoms just as much, or more than men. That really surprised me after my divorce 20 years ago. From all I've read, I thought for sure that practicing safe sex was the norm.

They probably already have genital herpes. I read on reddit how a sex worker caught it. She was late on her rent and about to be evicted and a guy with what she though just had eczema paid her to sleep with him and she caught gen herpes. She was so angry and wanted to pass it on to everyone

Anonymous wrote:A woman here - reading above makes me even more concerned. I always insist on condoms in addition to STI test swap (to ensure they don’t have herpes). Now I won’t deviate from my standards no matter what

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The idea of oral on some random 45 yo woman is kinda gross af, tbh."

How is the age of the woman relevant? You'd do that with a younger random woman?

Would you accept it from someone even if you wouldn't give it?

Men are stupid. That's why stds are at an all time high. That and not disclosing std status truthfully.

Anonymous wrote:"The idea of oral on some random 45 yo woman is kinda gross af, tbh."

How is the age of the woman relevant? You'd do that with a younger random woman?

Would you accept it from someone even if you wouldn't give it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women talk about using condoms a lot. However in my real word experience I have had many women just ready to hop on me without asking for condoms especially women in their 30s/40s.

It's practically the norm for women to want to have sex with no condom. Very few, maybe 5% insisted on it and a few others were very glad to skip it when I told them I had a vasectomy. In my experience, women hate condoms just as much, or more than men. That really surprised me after my divorce 20 years ago. From all I've read, I thought for sure that practicing safe sex was the norm.

Anonymous wrote:A woman here - reading above makes me even more concerned. I always insist on condoms in addition to STI test swap (to ensure they don’t have herpes). Now I won’t deviate from my standards no matter what

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know whether true or not but apparently false negative for HPV is more common among men than among women

I am guy and I have never had an HPV test. Do you have to ask for the test separately?

Guys can’t get an HPV test.