Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

Please stop with this new school magical thinking. Yes, we know more about how the body metabolizes compound A vs. B and how different bodies can metabolize the same thing differently. Most people eat too much. Portions are huge and many of us engage in mindless snacking of “healthy” foods. This is why we’re overweight. Me, you and everyone in between.

If they put you on a deserted island for 6 months and you could only eat coconuts and fish, you would lose a crap ton of weight.

What makes you think this? Most people would remain fat eating coconuts and fish because the problem is that they can’t tell when they are full. The only way they’d lose weight is if they ran out of fish and coconuts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I promise you that if you do a deep dive into what she’s actually eating and accurately look at the calories in vs calories out, it’d be very apparent why she’s overweight.

It doesn’t have to be junk, a lot of it is portion size or mindlessly eating “healthy” snacks.

Please stop with this old fashioned simplicity. Not all people who are overweight are so due to input. It's what the body does and does not do with the input. Not every human body can/does process food the same way.

+1

I have 3 teens and it is incredibly obvious that weight is about far more than “calories in, calories out” etc. What my 3 kids eat appears to have no bearing whatsoever on their weight. Literally none. 2 of them are super skinny (at very bottom of healthy range) and can’t gain no matter how many calories they eat (even supervised by a nutritionist with enormous calorie surplus). 3rd kid eats WAY less than siblings and has a very average build. Seems likely this would apply in the opposite direction with weight as well.

I’m not defending lots of junk food for any kid regardless of weight, and obesity should be addressed- absolutely. But no way is it just about “calories in calories out”

Anonymous wrote:The way to disrupt the constant hunger is to work. Teens should be busy working or volunteering so that they aren't always eating. Mine works a FT summer job and does power washing on the weekends. He eats regular meals and has no time for snacking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Do you think you would have been any less screwed up if your parents had handed you pills as a teen and told you it was because you have no self control?

Because the LuLus on this thread think that’s A-ok, but that feeding your kid steamed vegetables and fish and telling them to put down the second slice of cake is child abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

NP. I was overweight as a tween/young teen. Not obese, but about 30-35 pounds more than the ideal weight I eventually settled into as an adult. My parents’ “concern” led me to calorie count and restrict obsessively. Lost weight and my parents were so proud, yay! But the calorie restriction led to a massive over correction in which I started binge eating every day after school, which led to incredible feelings of shame (I let my parents down!), and then about a decade of hardcore secretive bulimia.

Which is all to say that weight loss is an incredibly delicate matter for a teenage girl. There’s so much wrapped up in it, I urge parents to tread very lightly and be very careful not to shame your girls for enjoying food. (I still struggle with this as a parent.) Build them up in other ways, keep them busy, get them moving, but the focus should not be on the food and the calories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the nutritionist want your child to log calories?

How is this even a question? It sets teen girls up for disordered eating patterns. To the OP- your daughter may be overweight, but your approach is setting her up for a lifetime of disordered eating to boot. Did she ask for your advice? Does she want your help with her weight? If not, then you’re doing much more harm to her than good.

My advice to the OP:

-model healthy eating and attitudes toward food and weight
-verbal affirmation from you regularly - whatever non-weight related things you can praise
-be a listening ear and provide advice if asked but do not be critical of her weight or body
-be attuned to what’s going on socially. Does she have good peer influences? Any chance she is or has been bullied? You need to ask her good, thoughtful questions.

One could make the argument that eating oneself into overweight status is already an eating disorder.

Exactly this! She already has disordered eating. If your kid had some other kind of health disorder, you would jump in to help. But, with food, everyone is supposed to passively sit back and watch their kids balloon up for fear that their kid will become “disordered.” But they already are!

She’s not going to thank you for telling her she was a cute chubby teen when she’s a chronically overweight diabetic 45 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

Please post a pic of your 210 lb in shape self.
That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

gaunt means lean or haggard and looking as if you're suffering from hunger. As the poster who said I would look gaunt I stand by that. At 200 I would slender, 190 I would look thin, 180 I would look very thin and 175, which is the max BMI for "normal weight" at 5'10 I would look gaunt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI is ridiculous tho. For most people, I guess, it's reasonable, but there are plenty of people who are outliers.

I'm 5'10 and my senior year of HS when I was a three-sport athlete who could run a 7min mile, I weight 210. I have very broad shoulders and chest... I was in AMAZING shape, but I had an obese BMI. As a 40-something, I've gained some weight, but I wouldn't want to weigh less than 220 and I would be GAUNT if I weighed anything close the maximum BMI for my height's "normal weight".

That’s quite the muscle mass if you were female, 5’10” and 210#.
My brother is that height, sued to do Ironmans and marathons. Then with four kids, very senior level work demands and more eating out and drinking is indeed obese at 210#.

I think the poster you’re responding to also has no clue what “gaunt” means. But of course, EVERYONE is that superhero-level muscular exception to BMI. America’s reputation of being fat is undeserved, obviously.