Anonymous
Post 05/29/2024 13:03     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you single? Recently divorced or widowed?

I don't understand your need for male attention in the way you describe it?


It's a work event in a completely male dominated industry. I'm not sure I could be more clear-I'm not looking for romantic attention at all. I've noticed a change in how I'm interacted with at work events and this is what has been difficult. It's not every male but it's noticeable. I'm still the same smart, competent colleague I always have been.


Wouldn't that mean that the men who talked to you before were only interested in you 'sexually' or for your looks but not for your professional competence?
Wouldn't that be actually an advantage now, to separate the ones who are interested in your knowledge/skills/competence from the one who're only interested in your looks?
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 13:01     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In France men tend to find older women more interesting than "green" younger women. However, beauty base standards are higher there and women do keep up with them. It's different in the US.


I wouldn’t necessarily say the beauty standards are higher in France but they are different. More focus on thinness and fashion. Not wearing the latest trends but expensive and well fitting classic clothes. But they also barely wear makeup and have messy hair all the time that high maintenance American women would find unusual.


You are blowing my mind on this makeup and hair stuff. I had always thought they were fussier there too.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 13:00     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:I am a man and I have to admit that men just turn their attention to younger looking women! It is what it is. Once women show age with wrinkles aging spots etc they just become invisible to the vast majority of men. My wife is 55 and she is gorgeous and she still and will always have my attention.


You do this in the workplace? Lame.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 12:53     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:I am a man and I have to admit that men just turn their attention to younger looking women! It is what it is. Once women show age with wrinkles aging spots etc they just become invisible to the vast majority of men. My wife is 55 and she is gorgeous and she still and will always have my attention.


Pretty much. Anyone with teen daughters can attest to this. I have 2 and neither is strikingly pretty (if I'm brutally honest) and they don't dress provocatively. Still, men fall over themselves looking at them in the street, etc.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 12:14     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As an introvert, it's been wonderful not to have the male gaze anymore! It's one reason I've let my gray hair grow in for the time being.


I'm right there with you, pp. As soon as we retire, I'm going completely gray.


My mom did that and she's getting a lot of lesbian gaze.


I'm really enjoying the lesbian gaze. Been giving it out as well, and I've only been appreciated for it. Wondering why I didn't notice and start participating sooner.


I'm the introvert, married, tall and cis, and I've always had the lesbian gaze, lol.

On the plus side, lesbians tend to handle rejection just fine and were / are pretty chill. It's just a relief not to have the male gaze anymore, except for my dh.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 09:03     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
Anonymous wrote:In France men tend to find older women more interesting than "green" younger women. However, beauty base standards are higher there and women do keep up with them. It's different in the US.


I wouldn’t necessarily say the beauty standards are higher in France but they are different. More focus on thinness and fashion. Not wearing the latest trends but expensive and well fitting classic clothes. But they also barely wear makeup and have messy hair all the time that high maintenance American women would find unusual.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 08:00     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
In France men tend to find older women more interesting than "green" younger women. However, beauty base standards are higher there and women do keep up with them. It's different in the US.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2024 07:35     Subject: Becoming invisible to men at 50
I am a man and I have to admit that men just turn their attention to younger looking women! It is what it is. Once women show age with wrinkles aging spots etc they just become invisible to the vast majority of men. My wife is 55 and she is gorgeous and she still and will always have my attention.