Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Nothing, OP. I'm the housecleaner and caregiver. It's kind of the point.

I’m a SAHM. The point is childcare. I don’t clean my house, we hire someone for that. I also don’t do lawn care.

Depends on your perspective. I view myself as a homemaker, not just a mother and I am uncomfortable with the idea that housework is beneath me, but not beneath someone I would hire.

I think your error is this idea that outsourcing is an indication of status. I don’t think my lawn guy is “beneath” me at all. He does a better job than I would. I just don’t have the time or skills to do the job properly.

I have kids and I’m a SAHM but I still want to have an independent adult life with hobbies and volunteer projects and rest. So I’m happy to have some childcare because I can’t do those things when I have little kids with me.

I agree with the PPs who say “I don’t spend anything on childcare and it’s great” have family near by they’re not counting or have a spouse who solos with the kids regularly.

When I’ve had stretches with no childcare at all it is really miserable. You can’t even make a doctor’s appointment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these husbands with a SAHM, a nanny, and a housekeeper are being taken for a ride. If you pay someone else to do it all, what does he need you for? Hope you are good at it!

You must not make a lot of money. Having paid help is no big deal to DH. He didn’t marry me to cook and clean.

You must be a terrible mother. My DH prefers his children are taken care of during the day by their mother and not a nanny. Luckily I actually like raising my own children and prefer the same!

I’m a woman, but I guess that I feel like I prefer that my SAH husband is taking care of the kids and not doing a ton of chores.

I don’t want to do all of the chores either, so we hire a lot of them out.

I think it really comes down to this. If you actually like spending time with your kids and are engaged with them during the day. Then you are not just running errands, cleaning, cooking, ... you are doing stuff with the kids.

I guess. He is doing stuff with the kids, but he isn’t patient enough to vacuum with them.
He makes their breakfasts and lunches, takes them to their various activities and preschool for the older ones. He is teaching them to read. He doesn’t have to do their laundry and do all of the vacuuming to be a good dad.
He also has times he needs to go to the dentist or wants to get together with a friend on his own, and we have date nights, so we have a babysitter 3-5 hours/wk.