"I didn’t read this whole bonkers thread because I don’t completely hate myself, but I get the feeling that OP’s nephew is a recruited athlete and OP is seething with jealousy that all of the money she dished out for private coaching over the years didn’t pay off in that regard for her own kid."

I'm OP and this made me literally laugh out loud. My nephew won't even golf with us. He couldn't be any less athletic.

"It's understandable that parents who have no affinity with or knowledge about their kids' chosen majors might be reluctant to weigh in. A lot of them perhaps place a lot of trust on the institutions their children are considering, and looking at course offerings doesn't even cross their minds!

But don't come on here and use "your kids are adults now, back off" defense. You lose all credibility when you do that."

+100

"I have a relative who is a professor at a selective private university. He said he compared the course offerings in his department at his university to the course offerings in same discipline at a well-regarded state school. There was a very big difference."

There is no reason whatsoever to question this statement. I've taught at the college level and profs do this all the time. It would be really weird for them to not to do so. They share them with colleagues who teach in their area, especially if it's a new niche.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea about the academic rigor of your DC's program of study, and do you even care if it's rigorous and makes them a stronger thinker?

My nephew is "killing it" according to BIL at his run of the mill state school. BIL brags about how the kid is getting As. I took a look at the list of courses he's taking and he has shown me the syllabus for a class that relates to my field. I can't believe how little this college expects of its students. They basically just collect tuition for four years, stamp their diploma, and send them out into the world without bothering to make them learn how to write or think critically. I'm sure the kids who major in job oriented things like nursing or structural engineering have to actually learn something, but my nephew is not being served well by his college IMHO.

I remember reading something about a study showing that most college kids didn't increase their intellectual skills much from freshman to senior year. I thought this had to be a poorly done study, but now I can see how this is possible.

I have a relative who is a professor at a selective private university. He said he compared the course offerings in his department at his university to the course offerings in same discipline at a well-regarded state school. There was a very big difference.

LOL utter BS

Sorry this doesn't align with your narrative. I think I'll trust my professor relative over your opinion!

"I'm just shocked by the whole thread. Your child is an adult when they go to college. By that time, they should have realized that college is a stepping stone to a job, and that they should be maximizing opportunities, etc.? They should already have an idea of what schools are good and what schools won't get them there? This sounds like you are sending kids out into the world without any basic life skills."

I don't know of a single 18-yr-old who knows to ask these sorts of questions. Most parents don't even know which schools are "good," never mind that "good" is going to mean vastly different things for different kids. You're expecting a great deal of self-awareness and knowledge about the US economy from a teenage boy. HS kids who have a well thought out career path are very rare, and that is true of those destined to attend T10 schools all the way to those who will go to school #1,000.

And don't get me started on the notion that high school kids should have any idea what career path they will pursue when we as a society spend absolutely zero time and resources in their high school years to help them figure this out. Never mind that the jobs they'll hold in 25 years don't even exist yet.

Anonymous wrote:
How else do you choose a school???

This is indeed a duh sort of moment.

It's understandable that parents who have no affinity with or knowledge about their kids' chosen majors might be reluctant to weigh in. A lot of them perhaps place a lot of trust on the institutions their children are considering, and looking at course offerings doesn't even cross their minds!

But don't come on here and use "your kids are adults now, back off" defense. You lose all credibility when you do that.

Just accept you're not that sort of parent, and move on. Otherwise you just come off as insecure and defensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea about the academic rigor of your DC's program of study, and do you even care if it's rigorous and makes them a stronger thinker?

My nephew is "killing it" according to BIL at his run of the mill state school. BIL brags about how the kid is getting As. I took a look at the list of courses he's taking and he has shown me the syllabus for a class that relates to my field. I can't believe how little this college expects of its students. They basically just collect tuition for four years, stamp their diploma, and send them out into the world without bothering to make them learn how to write or think critically. I'm sure the kids who major in job oriented things like nursing or structural engineering have to actually learn something, but my nephew is not being served well by his college IMHO.

I remember reading something about a study showing that most college kids didn't increase their intellectual skills much from freshman to senior year. I thought this had to be a poorly done study, but now I can see how this is possible.

I have a relative who is a professor at a selective private university. He said he compared the course offerings in his department at his university to the course offerings in same discipline at a well-regarded state school. There was a very big difference.

LOL utter BS

My kid is a STEM major and I was decidedly not.

I have a simple way of judging the curriculum...if I think I can understand the class, then it must not be rigorous.

I guess my kid's curriculum is rigorous because I looked at the course descriptions and literally didn't understand much of anything that was being taught.

I also looked at a Math problem set and decided it must not be Math because there wasn't a number in sight and the solutions took a page.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Non-STEM bachelors degrees are essentially just a certificate to white collar jobs. Nothing new here.

That or they teach higher level reasoning and thought. There is a world beyond STEM and we need people who do not think like programmers and engineers for many other types of roles. You may see it as “less than” but that is a deficiency in your world view. Perhaps you should have taken some classes outside of STEM to round out your thought processes.

I was an English major.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if parents are paying, they absolutely DFo have a responsibility to know what their kid is studying, whether they are obtaining marketable skills and to help be an advisor.

your "kid" is now an adult. If you don't trust that your kid knows whether they are learning something or not, maybe don't trust your kid with living away from you either.

If your adult kid asks you for advice, that's one thing, but for you to review the curriculum and course catalog and tell your kid what to do is another. That's pathetic.

Did you not look into the college before they applied or accepted, and whether they have a good reputation in that field?

My kid tells me what they want to study and they decide with their advisor what classes they are going to take. We talk about what classes would be good, but it's my kid who leads that discussions, not the parents.

This thread is about choosing a college.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea about the academic rigor of your DC's program of study, and do you even care if it's rigorous and makes them a stronger thinker?

My nephew is "killing it" according to BIL at his run of the mill state school. BIL brags about how the kid is getting As. I took a look at the list of courses he's taking and he has shown me the syllabus for a class that relates to my field. I can't believe how little this college expects of its students. They basically just collect tuition for four years, stamp their diploma, and send them out into the world without bothering to make them learn how to write or think critically. I'm sure the kids who major in job oriented things like nursing or structural engineering have to actually learn something, but my nephew is not being served well by his college IMHO.

I remember reading something about a study showing that most college kids didn't increase their intellectual skills much from freshman to senior year. I thought this had to be a poorly done study, but now I can see how this is possible.

I have a relative who is a professor at a selective private university. He said he compared the course offerings in his department at his university to the course offerings in same discipline at a well-regarded state school. There was a very big difference.