Anonymous wrote:OP, come back and tell us what the final decision was.

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Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

I hear you. I don't want my kid to grow up either too fast either. I mean I only have 4 years left with them at home and if they go to TJ, they will spend those 4 years with their nose in a book and any free time will be spent with friends and extracurricular stuff. There won't be nearly as much time for family.

I was really concerned about all this until we went to the school for a competition and a TJ student approached me and said DS should definitely apply, in part because my son will really fit in at the school. I thought about it and realized the academic pressure and disadvantages in college admissions would be outweighed by the benefits of the social aspect of the school. My son hardly spends any time with friends because no other middle schooler he knows wants hear him gush about the latest AI news, and with the exception of chess he doesn't do extracurriculars because there are no STEM-based extracurriculars that are advanced enough for him. He does spend a ton of lot of time with family and going to TJ would reduce that time, but the reason he spends so much time with us because we don't allow him to be on the computer every spare minute and he doesn't know what to do with himself when we kick him off (this totally stresses me out, by the way). I feel like I'd be okay with him spending a little less time with me, although of course it would be sad if that dropped to zero.

Anyway, it seems to me like kids at TJ do spend time with friends. They are just also doing homework or STEM projects at the same time. And for many kids that's ideal.

TJ definitely seems right for him. But does your school not have MATHCOUNTS? Or is mathpath out of your budget? Or does he have a hard time motivating himself to do things like AI courses independently?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

I hear you. I don't want my kid to grow up either too fast either. I mean I only have 4 years left with them at home and if they go to TJ, they will spend those 4 years with their nose in a book and any free time will be spent with friends and extracurricular stuff. There won't be nearly as much time for family.

I was really concerned about all this until we went to the school for a competition and a TJ student approached me and said DS should definitely apply, in part because my son will really fit in at the school. I thought about it and realized the academic pressure and disadvantages in college admissions would be outweighed by the benefits of the social aspect of the school. My son hardly spends any time with friends because no other middle schooler he knows wants hear him gush about the latest AI news, and with the exception of chess he doesn't do extracurriculars because there are no STEM-based extracurriculars that are advanced enough for him. He does spend a ton of lot of time with family and going to TJ would reduce that time, but the reason he spends so much time with us because we don't allow him to be on the computer every spare minute and he doesn't know what to do with himself when we kick him off (this totally stresses me out, by the way). I feel like I'd be okay with him spending a little less time with me, although of course it would be sad if that dropped to zero.

Anyway, it seems to me like kids at TJ do spend time with friends. They are just also doing homework or STEM projects at the same time. And for many kids that's ideal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

I hear you. I don't want my kid to grow up either too fast either. I mean I only have 4 years left with them at home and if they go to TJ, they will spend those 4 years with their nose in a book and any free time will be spent with friends and extracurricular stuff. There won't be nearly as much time for family.

I was really concerned about all this until we went to the school for a competition and a TJ student approached me and said DS should definitely apply, in part because my son will really fit in at the school. I thought about it and realized the academic pressure and disadvantages in college admissions would be outweighed by the benefits of the social aspect of the school. My son hardly spends any time with friends because no other middle schooler he knows wants hear him gush about the latest AI news, and with the exception of chess he doesn't do extracurriculars because there are no STEM-based extracurriculars that are advanced enough for him. He does spend a ton of lot of time with family and going to TJ would reduce that time, but the reason he spends so much time with us because we don't allow him to be on the computer every spare minute and he doesn't know what to do with himself when we kick him off (this totally stresses me out, by the way). I feel like I'd be okay with him spending a little less time with me, although of course it would be sad if that dropped to zero.

Anyway, it seems to me like kids at TJ do spend time with friends. They are just also doing homework or STEM projects at the same time. And for many kids that's ideal.

This was 100% what I saw at TJ as a student. Kids absolutely thrived socially because they found their people. That was everybody from kids who would have done great at their base schools (yes, they still have a peer group and friends with the same interests) to kids who seemingly had never had a peer group before TJ.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

Honestly, I did all of these things while I was at TJ:

- I worked summer camps over the summer;
- I hung out with friends doing extracurricular activities that I enjoyed after school;
- I played a varsity sport for two years, and sub-varsity the other two years;
- I volunteered through 8th period at a school right near TJ for kids with developmental disabilities;
- and I made a TON of mistakes.

...and I still graduated from my dream school four years after I left TJ.

The pressure cooker atmosphere and comparison culture is much less significant now than it used to be. The biggest thing I would repeat is that you don't want to play the "what if" game years down the road, wondering if your kid passed up on a golden opportunity. At least if he tries it and it doesn't work out, you'll know.

Dating, you didn't mention dating. or does that fall under the category of "a TON of mistakes"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

I hear you. I don't want my kid to grow up either too fast either. I mean I only have 4 years left with them at home and if they go to TJ, they will spend those 4 years with their nose in a book and any free time will be spent with friends and extracurricular stuff. There won't be nearly as much time for family.

I was really concerned about all this until we went to the school for a competition and a TJ student approached me and said DS should definitely apply, in part because my son will really fit in at the school. I thought about it and realized the academic pressure and disadvantages in college admissions would be outweighed by the benefits of the social aspect of the school. My son hardly spends any time with friends because no other middle schooler he knows wants hear him gush about the latest AI news, and with the exception of chess he doesn't do extracurriculars because there are no STEM-based extracurriculars that are advanced enough for him. He does spend a ton of lot of time with family and going to TJ would reduce that time, but the reason he spends so much time with us because we don't allow him to be on the computer every spare minute and he doesn't know what to do with himself when we kick him off (this totally stresses me out, by the way). I feel like I'd be okay with him spending a little less time with me, although of course it would be sad if that dropped to zero.

Anyway, it seems to me like kids at TJ do spend time with friends. They are just also doing homework or STEM projects at the same time. And for many kids that's ideal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm most afraid that by him accepting he's giving up high school and being a kid in place of four years of additional college. TJ seems very collegiate to me. On one hand that's nice and preparatory. On another, it feels like skipping part of childhood.

NP. I would love to dig into this a little deeper if that's okay. In what sense are you worried about him "giving up high school"? I'm genuinely curious, as my TJ experience was outstanding once I was able to find my people.

It's also worth noting that accepting the offer of admission to TJ is not a four-year commitment. If it's not the right fit, he can absolutely leave and transition pretty seamlessly into his base school while being ahead of the game from an academic sense.

Less time for quintessential American high school traditions and more time spent on studying and academic pursuits. The low wage job learning the value of the dollar, working and hanging out at home after school with family and friends, sports, dating, service, and just doing kid stuff and messing up and learning from mistakes without as much pressure. It weird to be debating whether or not your child should attend a magnet school or work at the local hamburger joint, but if all feels rushed coming from a non-magnet school experience myself. I know many families have had this debate before for decades and there is no wrong answer. They can both work out positively.

I hear you. I don't want my kid to grow up either too fast either. I mean I only have 4 years left with them at home and if they go to TJ, they will spend those 4 years with their nose in a book and any free time will be spent with friends and extracurricular stuff. There won't be nearly as much time for family.