Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just go through life without ever thinking about any of this.

Same. It’s sad that people like OP are so obsessed with “attractiveness.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember in the 80’s when my Dad’s office started “casual Friday”. He wore khakis and a buttoned down Oxford. Now that’s considered being dressed up!

Yep. I think people have completely forgotten what business casual is sopped to be. Leggings aren’t pants.

Anonymous wrote:I remember in the 80’s when my Dad’s office started “casual Friday”. He wore khakis and a buttoned down Oxford. Now that’s considered being dressed up!

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Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Thanks for the lecture on appearance, person old enough to reference “My Cousin Vinny” by telling us to “think back on it.” Um, that movie was from 1992. I was 3 years old.

What point do you think you’re making, exactly? I got her reference just fine and I’m only 5 years older than you. My teenage kids would get that reference, too, much like the average person on this thread would most likely get a reference about ringing bells and angels wings…

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Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Thanks for the lecture on appearance, person old enough to reference “My Cousin Vinny” by telling us to “think back on it.” Um, that movie was from 1992. I was 3 years old.

NP. You know that someone being older than you is not a bad thing. Frankly your generation is all dying of cancer before you’re 45 so I wouldn’t be too smug.

Anonymous wrote:You all need hobbies

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Thanks for the lecture on appearance, person old enough to reference “My Cousin Vinny” by telling us to “think back on it.” Um, that movie was from 1992. I was 3 years old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Thanks for the lecture on appearance, person old enough to reference “My Cousin Vinny” by telling us to “think back on it.” Um, that movie was from 1992. I was 3 years old.

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Anonymous wrote:Most people are around average-looking. Beauty is more or less normally distributed. Don't let grooming fool you.

But shouldn’t it count for something- doing the best with what you have?

I will admit OP’s sentiments came into my head because of the recent post on How Would Men Rate You (or something like that). There were a lot of high scores but then looking at the real world, everyone looks fine, normal, average. I’ve been going to NYC for work lately and have ended up with the same impression. When I started work in my 20s, I couldn’t believe the difference in how NYC womenpresented themselves and I presented myself. Now at 50, it’s all kind of mushed in the middle.

It's 2024. We are in the middle of an overweight/obesity epidemic. Taking care of yourself matters a great deal. And PP's "don't let grooming fool you" only takes the position that perfect grooming can't make up for a lack of genetics and fails to consider the negative consequences of average or less grooming, when others make an effort.

I think perhaps you are seeing less effort in NYC because culture has changed post-pandemic. Years of sitting in the house in pajamas and no makeup changed us.

I WFH in leggings and no makeup most days. I'm also normal weight and I lift more than casually, so I'm "taking care of myself" in that sense. I clean up when I have professional or social obligations that require cleaning up. What exactly are the negative consequences of me being ungroomed most of the time? Who am I trying to impress at the grocery store?

You are kind of proving my point here...

If your point was that I'm supposed to GAF about you judging me in the grocery store, I wasn't. You think I should wear makeup, I think you should deadlift. Neither of these opinions matters.

Only on DCUM is this an either/or option.

DP. Agreed. Plus the person you responded to sounds completely unhinged. They clearly missed the point and then angrily projected onto the original “the culture has changed” PP.

I think judging other people in the grocery store for not being made up is angry and unhinged, as is thinking anyone should care that you find a whole city unattractive, but you do you.

Anonymous wrote:You all need hobbies

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Agreed. I think it is absolutely a kind of white privilege to be able to go into a store as an adult wearing pajama bottoms without getting followed around bc they think you are a shoplifter. You have to do more social signaling with your appearance as a nonwhite person to get the same default respect. I therefore prefer settings where the norm is to put some effort in so it feels less racial to me.

Yeah, me too, I plan to eschew stores that feel racist for those who are just classist.

Oh, wait.
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2013/aug/09/oprah-winfrey-swiss-apology-racist-treatment

You missed my point completely.

Anonymous wrote:I just go through life without ever thinking about any of this.