Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I see so many posts from people who are considering divorce or divorced and say they have no expectations of remarriage and neither should anyone else considering divorce. Is that because their experience was so terrible that they are skeptical a new experience will be different? Or because marriage for them was always just about kids and pointless if kids aren't involved? Or because they don't want to be on the hook for taking care of a new older person? Or because they dont think anyone worthwhile will want to marry a 40/50/60/70 something man/ woman etc? or other.

I’m a 40 year old woman who will never let any man get a legal hold on me again. I’m slim, good looking, physically active, and financially secure due to my own hard work. Now that I’m divorcing my husband, I finally have peace of mind. The only thing a man can offer me is good sex and drama-free companionship. Sadly, most men can’t meet either of those two extremely basic requirements and the ones who can meet at least one typically can’t meet both. It’s truly pathetic.

I’ve also become very skeptical of men’s motives for getting married. Listen carefully even to how the good men talk about marriage. It’s all about what they want to extract, what they want to get for themselves. They have a very detailed list of what they’re looking for in a woman, but ask them what they’re offering and the responses get very vague and confused, as if they haven’t thought about it…which they haven’t.

Men give no thought to what they need to give and have no desire to give anything more than what they feel they absolutely must. The joy of giving is an oxymoron to them. It makes men a headache to women like me. The only women I know who want to remarry are those who need the financial help.

No, you’re just superficial with your telling us that you’re thin, physically active, good looking, blah, blah, blah. You’re boring as f.

Stay mad, honey. I work hard at being my best, which includes looking my best, and I’m proud of it. I know it bothers you. Society relies on exploiting women and secure women who know how to say “no” upset the apple cart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I see so many posts from people who are considering divorce or divorced and say they have no expectations of remarriage and neither should anyone else considering divorce. Is that because their experience was so terrible that they are skeptical a new experience will be different? Or because marriage for them was always just about kids and pointless if kids aren't involved? Or because they don't want to be on the hook for taking care of a new older person? Or because they dont think anyone worthwhile will want to marry a 40/50/60/70 something man/ woman etc? or other.

I’m a 40 year old woman who will never let any man get a legal hold on me again. I’m slim, good looking, physically active, and financially secure due to my own hard work. Now that I’m divorcing my husband, I finally have peace of mind. The only thing a man can offer me is good sex and drama-free companionship. Sadly, most men can’t meet either of those two extremely basic requirements and the ones who can meet at least one typically can’t meet both. It’s truly pathetic.

I’ve also become very skeptical of men’s motives for getting married. Listen carefully even to how the good men talk about marriage. It’s all about what they want to extract, what they want to get for themselves. They have a very detailed list of what they’re looking for in a woman, but ask them what they’re offering and the responses get very vague and confused, as if they haven’t thought about it…which they haven’t.

Men give no thought to what they need to give and have no desire to give anything more than what they feel they absolutely must. The joy of giving is an oxymoron to them. It makes men a headache to women like me. The only women I know who want to remarry are those who need the financial help.

No, you’re just superficial with your telling us that you’re thin, physically active, good looking, blah, blah, blah. You’re boring as f.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I see so many posts from people who are considering divorce or divorced and say they have no expectations of remarriage and neither should anyone else considering divorce. Is that because their experience was so terrible that they are skeptical a new experience will be different? Or because marriage for them was always just about kids and pointless if kids aren't involved? Or because they don't want to be on the hook for taking care of a new older person? Or because they dont think anyone worthwhile will want to marry a 40/50/60/70 something man/ woman etc? or other.

I’m a 40 year old woman who will never let any man get a legal hold on me again. I’m slim, good looking, physically active, and financially secure due to my own hard work. Now that I’m divorcing my husband, I finally have peace of mind. The only thing a man can offer me is good sex and drama-free companionship. Sadly, most men can’t meet either of those two extremely basic requirements and the ones who can meet at least one typically can’t meet both. It’s truly pathetic.

I’ve also become very skeptical of men’s motives for getting married. Listen carefully even to how the good men talk about marriage. It’s all about what they want to extract, what they want to get for themselves. They have a very detailed list of what they’re looking for in a woman, but ask them what they’re offering and the responses get very vague and confused, as if they haven’t thought about it…which they haven’t.

Men give no thought to what they need to give and have no desire to give anything more than what they feel they absolutely must. The joy of giving is an oxymoron to them. It makes men a headache to women like me. The only women I know who want to remarry are those who need the financial help.

Anonymous wrote:I'm just so intrigued why most people on this thread got married to begin with. were you never excited about love and companionship and it was always pragmatic? Understanding the rationale behind those who have been hurt for sure. But was marriage always just pragmatism? to me, there was an idea that you would find a 'soul mate' and just because you didn't the first time around, does that mean that idea is dead? or never existed to begin with?

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I see so many posts from people who are considering divorce or divorced and say they have no expectations of remarriage and neither should anyone else considering divorce. Is that because their experience was so terrible that they are skeptical a new experience will be different? Or because marriage for them was always just about kids and pointless if kids aren't involved? Or because they don't want to be on the hook for taking care of a new older person? Or because they dont think anyone worthwhile will want to marry a 40/50/60/70 something man/ woman etc? or other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The broke @ss women without good (or any) careers or alimony look to remarry as quickly as possible.

You would be surprised, actually! I heard a story from my dates how career women in the 50s (featured in Forbes) are questioning men if they are marriage positive on first date

But they can call the shots and reject. That have time and $ and independence.—-unlike the broke @ss ones with no careee and no alimony (or very little).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The broke @ss women without good (or any) careers or alimony look to remarry as quickly as possible.

You would be surprised, actually! I heard a story from my dates how career women in the 50s (featured in Forbes) are questioning men if they are marriage positive on first date

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading this forum for the past several years is all the convincing I need to never get married again. It would have to be a really exceptional woman. The older married women on this board seem to be angry, bitter, and hateful towards their husbands. I don't need that.

I always find it funny when men say this. How exactly do you think women became so angry and bitter? 10 times out of 10 a man, usually their husband or male significant other, has abused them or cheated on them. Women don't just come out of the womb bitter and hateful towards men. This is part of the reason why men prey on young women/teen girls. They don't know any better yet.

Anonymous wrote:The broke @ss women without good (or any) careers or alimony look to remarry as quickly as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally financial and legal. When women can work and don’t need men to provide for them, there’s zero reason to entangle yourself with legal marriage. I can see myself in a long-term partnership, but I would never enter into a legal arrangement that gives a man a right to my pension, 401k and other assets. I suppose you can write up a pre-nup to take care of those things but I’m really not interested in fighting off the law in that way. Live together, maybe even purchase a home together? Sure. Beyond that, no.

I wonder how much assets people have to think that way. I’ll have over $5mm by 50. Still would remarry with prenup, it’s not that difficult or expensive to draft. Kids inheritances, alimony, pensions - all this can be easily addressed there

I'm 44 with about a 2.5 mil net worth and won't marry again because I don't want anyone to have an avenue to fight my kids for money. You can put all the paperwork you want into place, but it doesn't stop someone from bringing a lawsuit anyway. I want my kids to spend my money on fun and their own families, not on lawyers fighting some new husband I married.

As someone with way more assets and who went through a bitter divorce - you are overestimating the legal risks. Took me $50k to divorce with joint businesses worth over $20mm.
If there is a prenup and trusts for the kids the legal expenses won’t be anywhere near what you presume. Plus, I wouldn’t mind my spouse getting some assets as well, if it’s a long marriage.
I don’t want to die single just because I’m scared of legal fees. For someone in their 40s the second marriage could still be a good run together and well worth with the right partner

I agree with you pp. A second marriage while still in 40s or early 50s would be worth it. From where I see it now, the risk calculation would be quite a bit different by early 60s, although you never know. Still likely to die single though, either way, since I'm a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally financial and legal. When women can work and don’t need men to provide for them, there’s zero reason to entangle yourself with legal marriage. I can see myself in a long-term partnership, but I would never enter into a legal arrangement that gives a man a right to my pension, 401k and other assets. I suppose you can write up a pre-nup to take care of those things but I’m really not interested in fighting off the law in that way. Live together, maybe even purchase a home together? Sure. Beyond that, no.

I wonder how much assets people have to think that way. I’ll have over $5mm by 50. Still would remarry with prenup, it’s not that difficult or expensive to draft. Kids inheritances, alimony, pensions - all this can be easily addressed there

I'm 44 with about a 2.5 mil net worth and won't marry again because I don't want anyone to have an avenue to fight my kids for money. You can put all the paperwork you want into place, but it doesn't stop someone from bringing a lawsuit anyway. I want my kids to spend my money on fun and their own families, not on lawyers fighting some new husband I married.

As someone with way more assets and who went through a bitter divorce - you are overestimating the legal risks. Took me $50k to divorce with joint businesses worth over $20mm.
If there is a prenup and trusts for the kids the legal expenses won’t be anywhere near what you presume. Plus, I wouldn’t mind my spouse getting some assets as well, if it’s a long marriage.
I don’t want to die single just because I’m scared of legal fees. For someone in their 40s the second marriage could still be a good run together and well worth with the right partner