I haven’t read all the replies. But I think this is why my 4th grade DD mostly plays with boys. She has no interest in fashion or girly stuff or doing each other's nails at recess vs running around or playing soccer.

I don’t know if any of her classmates have phones, but several of them have Apple Watches. DD does not text at all and rarely gets any screen time at home (& doesn’t care or ask for it). 4th graders are still little kids… it’s a shame some of them apparently act like teenagers.

Anonymous wrote:In what world is a 9 year old wearing belly shirts or making death threats considered "sophisticated"? Is a 14 year old getting knocked up or using drugs also "sophisticated"? I would think those kids are actually pretty simple, but i only have 3 graduate degrees and speak only 3 European languages, so what do I know about "sophisticated"?

Sophisticated is wrong in both instances. The kids are acting older than they are, that’s not sophisticated. And you having three graduate degrees and speaking three languages which most of Eastern Europe and many other trilingual countries citizen’s speak does not make you sophisticated.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have girls, but I’m always mildly shocked when elementary school lets out and I see the 3rd-5th graders come out with their crop tops, short shorts, cell phones, and giant Stanley cups. I know mom is choosing and buying a lot of this stuff and I don’t get it at all.

What's wrong with being hydrated? It's a cup. There is nothing wrong with owning a Stanley in fourth grade.

My older DD is in 5th this year. She and her main group of friends still like playing with stuffed animals, writing sill skits, playing soccer…

Last year (in 4th) a girl invited all the girls in the class (not all the girls in the grade) to a backyard camp out. It was impressive as they organized the whole thing. My DD went even though it wasn’t her regular crowd. She had fun, but later asked if she could tell me some things. In a hushed whisper (and with promises not to tell my husband or any of the girls’ parents) she told me that one girl plays with makeup, two weren’t embarrassed to say who their crushes were, and some don’t care if their bra strap is showing. It was all a bit shocking to her!

My DD is in 5th grade at a private. I take her to school and pick her up every day. No girls are wearing makeup or dressing sexily. I've never heard anything even resembling threats. The girls still play together with dolls and the boys still crack up when someone passes gas. OP - your school sounds particularly trashy.

Anonymous wrote:If your child is very social and extroverted, they are going to have a lot of elementary school friends who have bad teen-like habits. Maybe this is preferable to the opposite situation of a child who has few friends and thus is not exposed to a lot of objectionable behavior. I mean, look at all the threads of parents complaining that their kid "only" got 20 invitations to parties and playdates. Everybody is so status obsessed and obsessed with their child being popular, but then act pissed when it comes at the price of losing some Innocence. Sorry to say it, but unpopular and friendless children can hold onto that innocence for much much longer.

My kid is a social and fairly extroverted 4th grader. Invited to friends’ houses at least once most weekends. She is part of a big group of girls that is friendly and well-liked; the closest thing the school has to a popular crowd in terms of being a big friend group, but not mean girls (every year kids who are new to the school join their group with no problem). She is at a DCPS public school and there is literally nothing like this. A handful of kids have iPhones, but it’s the kids who commute. There is no group chat at night and if any of the kids have access to social media, my kid has never mentioned it or asks to. Occasionally she borrows my phone to chat to a friend’s parent’s phone via text. There is almost no makeup other than the occasional experiment. Maybe a kid occasionally wears a short shirt, but it’s nothing consistently “sexy” and I’m sure the school’s loose uniform helps keep this at bay. Like I know all of this is coming at some point, but I genuinely see little sign of it so far.

DD9 has no Chromebook access at home, but they play around at school with slide decks and google docs, which I don't much like. DD also NEEDS (she says) to be able to text her friends. Too bad. The other kids in MS will provide enough age-inappropriate material that I really don't need to help the process along. Home should be safe, and free from -inappropriate- secrets.

Anonymous wrote:In what world is a 9 year old wearing belly shirts or making death threats considered "sophisticated"? Is a 14 year old getting knocked up or using drugs also "sophisticated"? I would think those kids are actually pretty simple, but i only have 3 graduate degrees and speak only 3 European languages, so what do I know about "sophisticated"?

I don’t think 3 graduate degrees and speaking 3 European languages makes anyone "sophisticated,” but everyone has their own opinion.

Belly shirts on tweens sounds gross.

Where do you live? We live in Mclean, there is a lot of wealth here, and no child has a phone in 2nd and 3rd grade. You are either lying or are in a private school.