Anonymous wrote:It’s a class thing. Would never cross my mind to ask someone to take their shoes off

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian American and grew up without shoes inside the house and assumed this was the norm. My husband is American and is used to a no shoes household, but he’s not as fastidious as I am about it - if he needs to pop back into the house to get something he will leave shoes on. I don’t make a big deal about it.

His parents however, wear shoes inside all the time, unless it’s something like rain boots or snow boots. Otherwise they’ll put on sneakers or dress shoes, go about their business outside, and keep them on when they return. This includes wearing outside shoes in their bedroom and bathroom, not taking them off until bedtime.

I find this very puzzling as they are very neat and hygiene minded people. They live in a beautiful, expensive house, they pay for weekly cleaning and specifically ask the cleaners to mop all the floors, and they are generally pretty paranoid about things like germs. So how come they don’t mind all the gunk that’s on the bottom of their shoes? They live in a very urban part of DC so it’s not like they only go out to drive , and use public transportation, too.

Is this common among Americans ? If it’s relevant they are in their early 60s. Every time they visit and wear shoes inside our house I am so uncomfortable but I don’t want to be rude and repeatedly ask/remind them.

Anonymous wrote:I have indoor shoes and outdoor shoes. I change in the front hall. If I have to run back onto the house, I sanitize the bottom of my shoes with disinfectant first. Like many people over 60, It hurts my joints to walk around without supportive shoes. Maybe you should pick out some nice house shoes for your in-laws and leave them at the door.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blue blood easterners in the business and professional classes would think it exceptionally gauche to remove shoes and walk around a house in barefeet or in sweaty socks.

Maybe I’m not blue blood or east coast enough, but I don’t wear shoes inside my own house but not because of hygiene, just comfort. I don’t expect guests to remove their shoes and don’t find it appropriate unless they’re close friends and it’s a less formal gathering. If it’s raining or sloppy outside, I think people do generally take their shoes off if it’s easy. But it’s definitely not a hard and fast rule.

I get Asian cultures that have been doing this for centuries insisting on it. But people not from a culture like this just come off as pretentious and/or irrationally afraid of dirt when they insist that guests remove their shoes.

Irrational?

No, irrational is wearing your footwear outside where you're stepping on feces, vomit, spit, human waste, animal waste, pollutants, dirty, mud, grime, insects, and then still thinking there is no problem wearing that in your house. So nasty. That's what's really irrational.

Anonymous wrote:You yourself said you’re American. Puzzling how you ‘other’ Americans when it is convenient for you, but probably get all up in arms when people ask you where you’re from.

Anonymous wrote:Don't we have this same thread every month or so?

Anonymous wrote:I’m Asian American and we are no shoes at home. But I wear shoes all the time when visiting in-laws because they have dogs. If you have dogs, it no longer makes sense to be no shoe. Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:OP - do you wear shoes in your in-laws "shoes on" home or take them off? If you take them off, do you then clean your feet when you get home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blue blood easterners in the business and professional classes would think it exceptionally gauche to remove shoes and walk around a house in barefeet or in sweaty socks.

This is it exactly. I’d never thought of it like this, but my Dad would be so confused and a bit offended if you asked him to remove his shoes. And the whole “barefoot is a class below me” side had never really occurred to me but….it tracks. A bit of the WASP culture.