Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

Teens who receive straightforward sex ed and have access to BC are less likely to be sexually active than teens who have abstinence focused sex ed and lack access to BC.

Straightforward sex ed is fine

and condoms are widely available at every single grocery store, drug store, gas station, etc.

But that doesn’t mean you buy your kid condoms—

which unlike hormonal BC are only used while having sex/being sexually active.

But no, sorry. Not going to make it easy for them. If they wanna have sex like an adult they can buy their own condoms like an adult and find somewhere other than their parent’s house—like an adult.

Otherwise they risk ruining their lives by becoming a teen parent—I will NOT be taking care of a grandchild birthed by my teenage child. And if I caught my kid going behind my back to have sex you can be sure all privileges (car, car insurance, cell phone, etc) will be lost as well. You wanna do adult things? Okay, well that doesn’t mean just the fun stuff, be prepared to pay for all the stuff I’m not legally required to pay for (i.e. you will be provided shelter and food).

This is not hard, and you can still have a wonderful parent-child relationship (I do with my parents who took the same approach with sexual activity and dating in high school).

It’s simply called: being willing to be a parent instead of trying to be your teenager’s bff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Better yet, abstinence and no dating. Problem solved.

This does not happen in a vacuum. Parents have to be very engaged with the kids and the kids have to have a full plate with academics, sports, ECs and supportive and positive appropriate socializing. Just telling kids that they have to practice absitinence will not work. You have to keep them busy, provide support that they feel encouraged, and help them to work towards a worthwhile goal.

Also, if the kid has faced sexual grooming, abuse and neglect as a kid, or the family is dysfunctional then the kid can be promiscuous sexually. So, the birth control, condoms, dental dams, and HPV vaccines are super important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest hurdle is to make girls understand the BCP does not prevent STD’s and the boys still need to use condoms. My friend and her boyfriend were both virgins but he cheated on her and she didn’t know until she got herpes in the late 90’s. Never trust anyone

Absolutely YES on condoms for safe-sex / prevention of disease, every time (no exceptions).

And kids need it explained to them to use a new/fresh condom for each act of intercourse, even in the same night. No wonder OP’s kid experienced a breakage.

Girls especially need to also be educated and insist on condoms for oral. This is why they make the unlubed condoms, and the flavored ones. No condom? No sex.

As a parent, make sure you provide both types of condoms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my DS is dating and hasn't had sex. "Having a baby would derail all my plans, Mom."

Teens lie. Surprise, surprise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

Teens who receive straightforward sex ed and have access to BC are less likely to be sexually active than teens who have abstinence focused sex ed and lack access to BC.

stop with the "abstinence focused sex ed". sex ed itself is the problem.

Anonymous wrote:Better yet, abstinence and no dating. Problem solved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

Teens who receive straightforward sex ed and have access to BC are less likely to be sexually active than teens who have abstinence focused sex ed and lack access to BC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

Teens who receive straightforward sex ed and have access to BC are less likely to be sexually active than teens who have abstinence focused sex ed and lack access to BC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

Teens who receive straightforward sex ed and have access to BC are less likely to be sexually active than teens who have abstinence focused sex ed and lack access to BC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

This is exactly my view as well.

You’re missing the part where plenty of kids are doing it anyway. So the question is this:

If your kid elected to disregard your advice and counsel and have sex, would you like him or her to have protected sex or unprotected sex? I assume we can agree even if every parent said not to, some kids will anyway. Should those kids have control over their own bodies and have protection if that is their wish and desire? Or, should those kids assume all risks of STDs and pregnancy because they failed to heed their parents’ warning AND failed to buy their own condoms?

Quite frankly, I’ve had the sex talk, we’ve discussed the risks of pregnancy and std’s and i have made them aware of my personal views that having sex with someone with whom you are not ready to have a child (note that i do not say that the point of sex is to have a kid, merely that this is one of the more obvious outcomes) is really effing stupid. And obviously if they are too immature to buy condoms, they’re too immature to have sex.

If they choose to disregard all of those warnings, you are right in that I can’t stop them, but unfortunately the consequences are on them. I am NOT buying them condoms, because I do NOT approve of them having sex while still in high school. Just like I am not going to buy them alcohol even though lot of high school kids drink.

That’s not what I asked. I didn’t say anything about you buying the condoms. The questions were:

if your kids ignored your advice, would you want them to use a condom when they had sex?

Should kids have control over their own bodies and have protection if that is their wish and desire? Or, should those kids assume all risks of STDs and pregnancy because they failed to heed their parents’ warning AND failed to buy their own condoms?