Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mid 40s divorced woman here, I have no issues dating men who are about my age, and who are open to have kids (usually adoption). What men hate most is clinginess, desperation or feeling like walking sperm banks. Your friend is also jumping into beds too soon: she needs to date several guys at a time and at least do 6 dates to see if there is a good fit before sleeping with anyone. That would help her not to feel discarded after ONS and not get "stuck" in intimate relationships with people who are not good matches for her. She also needs to date guys from her own social circle and education level: dating in DC is very structured.
Value of a woman is not decreasing with age: it's women's behavior that determines her value for men. Looks also help: men would rather date a beautiful mid 40s woman than a so-so desperate late 30s. The age difference is not that big for it to be a consideration.

Ding, ding, ding! I'm not being judgmental, but this is clearly not working out for her, so she needs to shift gears.

Anonymous wrote:As a mid 40s divorced woman here, I have no issues dating men who are about my age, and who are open to have kids (usually adoption). What men hate most is clinginess, desperation or feeling like walking sperm banks. Your friend is also jumping into beds too soon: she needs to date several guys at a time and at least do 6 dates to see if there is a good fit before sleeping with anyone. That would help her not to feel discarded after ONS and not get "stuck" in intimate relationships with people who are not good matches for her. She also needs to date guys from her own social circle and education level: dating in DC is very structured.
Value of a woman is not decreasing with age: it's women's behavior that determines her value for men. Looks also help: men would rather date a beautiful mid 40s woman than a so-so desperate late 30s. The age difference is not that big for it to be a consideration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is her. I am 46, divorced with elementary kids and have no trouble dating anyone I want age 27-50. I was married at 32, btw, and not in my 20s.

Yep. Stop with the age crap. Im im my 50s, fit and gorgeous. I have suitors - im not "hooking up" with any btw.

however the guy i have the most fun with is much much younger than me. I wont say by how much cause dcum always freaks out lol. No, he is not in his 20s!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

You sound smug. Plenty of women find their happiness and enter into first and second marriages in their 40s and 50s

As a married man, if I was single, dating sounds exhausting and expensive. I’d prob do the same thing those guys are doing and just sleep with your gym trainer friend and then ghost her if she was even the slightest bit annoying, saw me as a sperm bank, or worse. Life’s too short. And yeah 39 to have kids? I’m sorry. No. She should get invetro on her own or just bag it.

Anonymous wrote:Assuming OP is a woman (unclear) what she cannot get is that a hot 39 year old single personal trainer may be in fact happier than she is. Who among us wouldn’t sort of want that? I love my kid but freedom also sounds great. The only thing the trainer needs to do is realize that you can be perfectly happy without children. If OP actually wanted to be supportive to this woman (doubtful) she would reassure her that the grass isn’t always greener and she should take her time and only date men she feels good with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

+1 Why the hell did OP post this in the first place? It's both smug and mean.

+1

I think the OP is the wife and the “friend” really her husbands trainer who makes her nervous. She’s slamming this woman while asserting her own worth.

Nah. OP is a dude. There’s a whole genre of red pill dudes who take great joy in spewing about “low value” women who have “wasted their fertility.”

Anonymous wrote:OP you are just mean-spirited and smug. women’s ’market value’? Like we’re some sort of commodity? Mind your own business and beware of judging others - it usually just makes you look like the a**.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have used this post to offer self-congratulatory details about your own life under the guise of concern-trolling for your trainer, whom you’ve identified as low SES, “relatively” good looking, and easy.

No one believes you care about this person.

So you’re a married middle-aged homeowner with a teen who can afford a trainer? Congratulations. Make sure to collect your prize: it’s a colonoscopy and marriage counseling.

Not Op but I feel called out and it HURTS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

You sound smug. Plenty of women find their happiness and enter into first and second marriages in their 40s and 50s

As a married man, if I was single, dating sounds exhausting and expensive. I’d prob do the same thing those guys are doing and just sleep with your gym trainer friend and then ghost her if she was even the slightest bit annoying, saw me as a sperm bank, or worse. Life’s too short. And yeah 39 to have kids? I’m sorry. No. She should get invetro on her own or just bag it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know its none of my business, it just makes me sad how a capable, kind, relatively good-looking 39 y.o. has such a low market value on the dating apps. She meets up with around 2 guys every week, some younger, some older, hooks up with most, but none seem to want to have anything to do with her after a few days.

I don't want to discourage her, so I would never tell her, but what was she thinking in the past 15 years? The same woman, 15 years younger, would be considered very desirable.

Of course she wants kids and has told me that she got into debt to get her eggs frozen.

Women's market value really decreases a lot after 30.

I am 45, married for 18 years, teenage kid, my own house, earning well, etc. I am in a very different place in life. Side remark: The funny thing is that even though I am only marginally older than her, she considers me to be a generation older.

She doesn't want to date other trainers at the gym, even though there would be good candidates.

Any advice I could offer her? I am quite pessimistic about her prospects.

You sound smug. Plenty of women find their happiness and enter into first and second marriages in their 40s and 50s