Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

Nope, you’re the dereliction of parental duty. Every research study on feeding suggests that allowing unrestricted access results in moderation. Imposing moderation results in sneaking and binging. Full stop.

Yes, I parent. My teen has a video game system. He can play on the weekends if he does not have homework. He can play on a weeknight if he doesn’t have practice or homework (this is a very tiny amount of time) - I don’t otherwise limit it. If he plays when he has homework or a test, and he fails the test, that is a natural consequence and the next natural consequences are: no access to tv or games, more studying, worse grades. It basically doesn’t happen. He takes responsibility.

If your kid is sneaking video games and feeling ashamed for eating cookies, you’re setting yourself up for more secrecy and barriers.

Vaping, meth, etc - no effing way do I allow that. But we have very open talks, my kid is a committed athlete so has zero interest, and we also have narcan here so that IF one of his friends OR HIM makes a mistake, it is not deadly.

I cannot see how Oreos are a gateway to meth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP is a moron who posted without reading any of the earlier posts.

Your sock puppet post doesn't hold much weight.

Anonymous wrote:PP is a moron who posted without reading any of the earlier posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

You said "once a week" in the OP.

Kids, particularly teens, should have practice making their own choices and seeing how their body feels. Then they can figure out what's right for them. They will make mistakes along the way, but not letting them make mistakes is not letting them learn. It's like if you decided to do your kid's math homework for them to protect them from any mistakes. Then send them off to college to fail miserably. Similarly, if your kid hasn't made mistakes, and learned from mistakes, when you aren't there to restrict, they'll make huge mistakes and they won't have a forgiving teenage body.

I said we have sugary desserts once a week. Can you not read?

For all the holier than thou parents who think their kids only have 1 sugary treat per week. Do your kids leave your house ever? I’m not sure you want to know what your kid eats at my house.

There you have your answer. I wouldn’t let my kids go to your house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having dessert once a week is not normal. I have three kids and we all eat pretty healthy and definitely don’t have dessert every day…but once a week is really rigid and restrictive. And I agree with PPs that you are setting your kid up for an unhealthy relationship with food. Which it sounds like you have OP.

My kids all eat lots of veggies, whole grains and also enjoy sweets. But all do a good job of “listening to their body” and don’t gorge…ever.

Of course all kids are just like your kids, right? The only "normal" way to have dessert is several times a week? You sound like a freak to me.

What about this post is freakish?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having dessert once a week is not normal. I have three kids and we all eat pretty healthy and definitely don’t have dessert every day…but once a week is really rigid and restrictive. And I agree with PPs that you are setting your kid up for an unhealthy relationship with food. Which it sounds like you have OP.

My kids all eat lots of veggies, whole grains and also enjoy sweets. But all do a good job of “listening to their body” and don’t gorge…ever.

Of course all kids are just like your kids, right? The only "normal" way to have dessert is several times a week? You sound like a freak to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

You said "once a week" in the OP.

Kids, particularly teens, should have practice making their own choices and seeing how their body feels. Then they can figure out what's right for them. They will make mistakes along the way, but not letting them make mistakes is not letting them learn. It's like if you decided to do your kid's math homework for them to protect them from any mistakes. Then send them off to college to fail miserably. Similarly, if your kid hasn't made mistakes, and learned from mistakes, when you aren't there to restrict, they'll make huge mistakes and they won't have a forgiving teenage body.

I said we have sugary desserts once a week. Can you not read?

For all the holier than thou parents who think their kids only have 1 sugary treat per week. Do your kids leave your house ever? I’m not sure you want to know what your kid eats at my house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Nothing. He spent his allowance on them and now they are gone. He might feel disgusting, he might get a few more pimples.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

I think you misunderstand. We have cheez-its, pita chips, sugary cereal, chocolate chip granola bars, ice cream, cookies - store bought and homemade, etc. All these things are in the pantry all the time. Along with the 2/3 full bins of Halloween candy my kids still have. They don’t eat it in excess. They have a small bowl of Lucky charms and then have yogurt or ask me to make some eggs. They eat a bowl of chips or 1 granola bar and a piece of fruit. We have no rules around food because they don’t binge. The only time I have to step in and tell the kids to take it easy on sweets and snacks is when they have friends over from houses that limit food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

You said "once a week" in the OP.

Kids, particularly teens, should have practice making their own choices and seeing how their body feels. Then they can figure out what's right for them. They will make mistakes along the way, but not letting them make mistakes is not letting them learn. It's like if you decided to do your kid's math homework for them to protect them from any mistakes. Then send them off to college to fail miserably. Similarly, if your kid hasn't made mistakes, and learned from mistakes, when you aren't there to restrict, they'll make huge mistakes and they won't have a forgiving teenage body.

I said we have sugary desserts once a week. Can you not read?