Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:38     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it.


People make different birth control decisions at different stages of their lives, and some of those options have higher or lower fail rates. I don’t think it’s really surprising. Also there are fewer options available for women who are still breastfeeding (not no options, but the choices are different).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:36     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.


You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.


I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.


But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.


But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.


OK, but twins are more likely to be born to older parents either way. Seems weird to assume.


Well since we're both assuming, might as well make the more likely and rational assumption that they had help.


To be clear I was just…. Not thinking it was strange and not wondering how they conceived.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:33     Subject: are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

I think part of it may be less sexism in the type of jobs many UMC/MC moms have in this area. 20 years ago you had to wait to have kids until after you made partner in consulting and law and that automatically made it almost impossible for many women to have more than 1 or 2 kids. Now many associates have kids w/ no ramifications - which reflects an improvement
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:29     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it.

This is a really oblivious comment. Birth control fails. It just does.


Birth control fails, but rarely when used properly. It is not that hard these days for someone who absolutely does not want to be pregnant to not get pregnant. And if it does fail, there are options (at least for now...RIP RvW)

That's your experience. I got pregnant on the pill. And we are talking about birth control, not abortions.
No one needs to "justify" a third child.
Dang people are nosy and judgey about how many children people have!
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:27     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it.

This is a really oblivious comment. Birth control fails. It just does.


Birth control fails, but rarely when used properly. It is not that hard these days for someone who absolutely does not want to be pregnant to not get pregnant. And if it does fail, there are options (at least for now...RIP RvW)
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:25     Subject: are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I wasn't totally infertile that would be me. 9 babies, 2 living. Sucks.


Justonemore??


Omg, did you see she only has 2 living babies when you made this sarcastic comment?

Read before you lash out your hurtful words.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:24     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it.

This is a really oblivious comment. Birth control fails. It just does.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:23     Subject: are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

In my UMC/MC suburb outside Boston, 2-3 is typical.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:23     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.


You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.


I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.


But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.


But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.


OK, but twins are more likely to be born to older parents either way. Seems weird to assume.


Well since we're both assuming, might as well make the more likely and rational assumption that they had help.

or to just MYOB! Also an option
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:22     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.


You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.


I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.


But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.


But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.


OK, but twins are more likely to be born to older parents either way. Seems weird to assume.


Well since we're both assuming, might as well make the more likely and rational assumption that they had help.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:22     Subject: are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Like two PP already said, common for the third to be an unplanned baby. That's with me and mine also.


This. I had one, wanted a second, got my second and a third through twins.


Fertility treatment obv


Nope. Twins run in our family. And I was only 34.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:22     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:18     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.



Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.


You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.


You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.


I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.


But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.


But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.


OK, but twins are more likely to be born to older parents either way. Seems weird to assume.

Seems weird to assume since twins occur naturally at a fairly high rate, and it seems weird to even be thinking about it.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 09:16     Subject: Re:are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

We are the only couple (other than one couple who had twins) who voluntarily decided to have 3 kids. But our HHI is probably higher than most of our friends (HHI around $650K).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2024 08:28     Subject: are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m in a wealthy neighborhood and almost every family here has 3-4 in rapid succession. I grew up lower middle class and most families were 2 so I’d say it’s less of a “sign of the times” and more a sign of wealth.


Both DH and I grew up in wralthy 3 kid families. We only ever wanted 2 kids.



I grew up in a 2 kid family and desperately wanted more siblings. I would’ve gladly given away much of what I’ll inherit for a sister or more cousins for my kids.


+1


+1. I secretly held out hope that my parents would have another kid (a third kid) until I was 16. At that point it became obvious that they were not going to have another child. I still wish I had another sibling.


Sure you did


Np, but as a kid I wished for tons of siblings (had one brother) and was so sure I'd have lots of kids of my own. Cut to actually being an adult, any I'm perfectly happy with two kids. I'll also perfectly happy with just one sibling now. Big families in adulthood can be a lot to manage.


Personally having one sibling as an adult and marrying into a family with four siblings cemented my desire for a larger family. (But unsurprising that we’re all different!)