Live farther out from DC so housing costs are lower, staycations not fancy vacations, keep car until it dies, public school, only buy fresh groceries which are in-season or otherwise on-sale. Little or no dining out. Smaller Xmas. Avoid credit card debt. Only use in-network medical providers with employment-supported health insurance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the last 10+ years, we lived on under 100K (55K-88K). Our DC went to Catholic school too and we saved plenty for retirement. It worked because we didn't have a mortgage and we are both pretty low key.

Why bother working?

We still need to eat!

Anonymous wrote:For the last 10+ years, we lived on under 100K (55K-88K). Our DC went to Catholic school too and we saved plenty for retirement. It worked because we didn't have a mortgage and we are both pretty low key.

Why bother working?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a tiny townhome in Alexandria. DH makes 100k, I stay home with our 3 kids. Schools are not great, so we homeschool the oldest. My husband drives an old car, but I had to buy a new minivan this year to fit three kids in car seats. We have no debt besides the mortgage. We think we’re pretty fortunate. We do watch what we buy, but I’m ok with that if it means I get to stay home with the kids. I had a very stressful, but high paying job before having kids.

Why didn’t your husband stay at home if you were the high earner?

He can’t take care of the kids and has no patience for homeschooling. He would sit on his cell phone all day while the kids ate gummies and crackers. I’m a better stay at home parent. My job was stressful too. I was an ER doc in a busy, poorly staffed ER.

Seems like the economics here suggest you would have come out ahead with daycare or a nanny.

Very easy to do it. My parents had four kids. We lived in a cheap dumpy apt with no car and went to public schools.

No take out, cable TV, going to movies, hand me down clothes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a tiny townhome in Alexandria. DH makes 100k, I stay home with our 3 kids. Schools are not great, so we homeschool the oldest. My husband drives an old car, but I had to buy a new minivan this year to fit three kids in car seats. We have no debt besides the mortgage. We think we’re pretty fortunate. We do watch what we buy, but I’m ok with that if it means I get to stay home with the kids. I had a very stressful, but high paying job before having kids.

I’m impressed you were able to buy a minivan in cash! Did you have savings from when income was higher? Will you go back to work at some point? Also wondering what your DH didn’t opt to stay home if you earned more?

Yes, I had some savings from when I worked. Unfortunately I can’t get back into my field (ER doc) after taking so much time off. I’ll go back to work when the kids are older, but will have to find something else to do.

My husband would be a horrible stay at home parent. He has little patience for the kids and no interest in homeschooling. I would have to get a nanny, but ER docs work odd shifts and it would have been hard to find someone to work overnights or weekends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a tiny townhome in Alexandria. DH makes 100k, I stay home with our 3 kids. Schools are not great, so we homeschool the oldest. My husband drives an old car, but I had to buy a new minivan this year to fit three kids in car seats. We have no debt besides the mortgage. We think we’re pretty fortunate. We do watch what we buy, but I’m ok with that if it means I get to stay home with the kids. I had a very stressful, but high paying job before having kids.

Why didn’t your husband stay at home if you were the high earner?

He can’t take care of the kids and has no patience for homeschooling. He would sit on his cell phone all day while the kids ate gummies and crackers. I’m a better stay at home parent. My job was stressful too. I was an ER doc in a busy, poorly staffed ER.

Vegetable garden and freeze the veggies to use through the year.

Hunt for meat and game. Put this in your freezer.

Or have a cow share and freeze the part of your cow share.

This provides protein at very low cost.

It's not hard. We only own our home. We work from home. We mow our own lawn and don't have maid service. Never had a nanny or childcare. Good local public schools. We live a simple low stress life here in DMV. It's doable.

Dated someone like this. Lives in a second tier part of a second tier town in a small row house with a low mortgage covered by a roommate who inhabits the top floor (no separate entrance). Shops at thrift and consignment stores. Kids attended public. Does free activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Budget groceries, one parent stays home so no childcare, no extras.

[b]What I don't understand is how most of the country has $1500 a month car payments.

Is that true?????

Yes assuming 2 new cars, both financed- pretty big assumption, and not "most of the country", I would guess.

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/loans/auto-loans/average-monthly-car-payment

Anonymous wrote:Budget groceries, one parent stays home so no childcare, no extras.

[b]What I don't understand is how most of the country has $1500 a month car payments.

Is that true?????

For the last 10+ years, we lived on under 100K (55K-88K). Our DC went to Catholic school too and we saved plenty for retirement. It worked because we didn't have a mortgage and we are both pretty low key.

I was a single mom to 3 kids in MoCo and had low income but didn’t live in subsidized housing or get SNAP. There were a few things that helped:
- there was some childcare assistance that helped me finish my college degree and work
- there’s WIC and we had supplemental fruit
- There’s free medical insurance for the kids which also helps

But I think moving more into middle income, where those things go away, some things that helped were:
- My kids worked in high school
- I have a lot of deferred maintenance on my house
- I had older cars and at some point, went years without a car
- The kids had limited sports, and certainly not expensive ones.
- Public schools
- No retirement savings for many years.