Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

How? As a parent you need to monitor your child. Far worse for mental health are checked out parents who don't care and ignore signs of behavior or anything else as its easier for them.

Also adding, if I don’t know the boundaries, and I’ve never met the parents, I’m going to default to my house rules for my own kid. They are in high school, I don’t have the time or energy for guesswork. Either tell me what you want, or don’t let your kid sleep places.

I never lied about my location as a teen. I wouldn’t have cared if I was tracked.

Every move …not everyone

I will also add my daughter is 16. Can’t compare to a 13 yo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

First off, “going out” isn’t sneaking out. As I have her location, I know they are at another friends house, at a restaurant, etc. if it gets too late or the location looks shady/unfamiliar, I call her and tell them to get their a$$ home and she does. Parents like you who track every move and assume the worst are why your kid leaves their phone and disables life 360. Mine comes home when I ask her and isn’t drunk/high when she does so…?

Secondly, funny enough, the kids whose phones are left at my house are almost exclusively ones with parents who have never met me. A few I’ve reached out to get their numbers after their kids have stayed here several times (if my kid stays there I always get it and shoot a text). These parents have never once contacted me to ask me to enforce any boundaries, if they did I would. I don’t know who they are so how am I lying lol.

I’m not cool I’m teaching her moderation and responsibility. The kids who have parents who track their everyone are mostly the kids who make some really stupid choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid can’t be trusted, I get it. But if they’re generally trustworthy, why do this? With my three, including two teens and one young adult, I told them I wouldn’t track as long as they were abiding by our rules. We have Life360 for car trips and the like, but we otherwise never check. They know that if we have reason to stop trusting, they will get less freedom and independence. But I want to prepare them for a world in which no one is following their every movement to ensure they’re only making perfect decisions. Somehow all of us on here survived the teen years, and I can’t imagine there are many of us who didn’t make a few questionable decisions along the way. We learned from those as well. I do understand tightening the leash if your child is a habitual liar or meeting strangers from the internet at the mall or doing drugs, but otherwise, you’re doing no one any favors, including yourself. My anxiety would be through the roof if I felt responsible for tracking my kids all the time.

We use life360 to track each other for pickups and to know when to have meals ready.

My kids track us to see where we are when picking them up. My younger DC walks alone from one activity to another. I would have anxiety if I could not track them.

The older DC is 18 and at college. We asked them if they wanted to remove life360. They said, no, that they didn't care. This DC also goes to see their s/o at a big city every so often, so I like that we know when they get there safely and back.

Please read what you wrote. “I would have anxiety if I could not track them.”

Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.

They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.

And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

So you are the mom that allows your kid to sneak out and drink/drugs at sleepovers but you are saying the other kids parents are wrong for trusting you.

You know all of those kids are lying to their parents. Sneaking out on your watch and you judge them!?

Yikes “cool mom”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old snuck out last year and got into a car accident with their 16yr old friends It was a scary time. I agree with tracking

Sure these are conveniences, but we do sacrifice something for this peace of mind. Being “watched” and “followed” had some psychological effects.

Omfg this is so dumb. I grew up in a neighborhood and school where everyone watched and knew everyone business. Times aren’t like that anymore and the internet is a scary place. My family uses life 360 to help each other. But if I was suspicious of one of my kids getting into trouble, sneaking, around, etc… I would absolutely start using it for other purposes. It’s my phone. My kid. Give me a break on the psychological affect. If that is your concern a kid should not have a phone, internet or social media.

work on the trust issues.

I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.

Anonymous wrote:I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.

The bolded is another benefit. I also don't make my kids tell me where they are going, call if they move locations, tell me when they are ont he way home, etc etc. If I know I can find them in the event I need to, it cuts out a lot of that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

What precisely are the behaviors you are talking about?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the teen, and what are you worried they are doing when they have location turned off?

We just had this discussed in our house. 17 year old wants privacy and not to be tracked. He does occasionally go to “hang outs” he sometimes has beer. !

As the parent of a fellow 17y...WTF? Nope. I am not naive thinking my kids will never drink. But wanting privacy and going to have a beer at 17y is not happening.

So glad I’m not a kid right now. No wonder they all have mental health problems.

These behaviors (by parents) are for sure related to the teen mental health crisis. Your 17 year olds will be living away from home in less than a year. Think about it.

I use find my iPhone but I almost never bring up their location or movement unless it’s something crazy. I also don’t make them tell me where they are going or anything, as long as location is on. So there is a benefit to them.

I’ve had many sleepovers hosted here where my 16 year old and her friends go out and I know where my kid is, but her friends phones are left in her room. That seems much scarier to me.

So I recommend backing way off - stop bugging them every movement. Feeling tracked is a terrible feeling. I stopped sharing my location with my husband bc he acted like that to me and it drove me nuts.