Anonymous wrote:Your daughter has zero respect for her family. As your eldest she could at least attempt to set a decent example for younger siblings.

Pipe down, Edna. It is 2023 and there is nothing indecent about two grown adults in a caring relationship sleeping in the same room. Guess what? Not everyone is a Christian, or follows any religion. Not everyone has the same Old Timey morals. I think it’s immoral to expect others to follow your beliefs and act like that is the only “decent” way to live. Cling to your backward values and stay lonely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A den with a pullout couch and no real door is not an acceptable space to offer an adult guest, particularly one who isn't a family member.

It is, if no alternative is available. I'm not going to expect everyone to have a guest suite. [b]Aa a guest, I would take whatever host offers. If uncomfortable, would book a hotel next time.

Why be uncomfortable at all? If you know this is the situation just book a hotel. Which their daughter smartly did. Team DD all the way.

Anonymous wrote:
OP's daughter put her parents in this awkward position, even knowing what they would say.

The daughter should have volunteered to stay in the den, and insisted that her boyfriend stay in the guest room.

BTW, young women do themselves no favors when they are so quick to be available to their boyfriends.

NOPE, it’s unacceptable for any adult to sleep in a den with glass doors and no comfort and privacy. Daughter stood up for herself and her boyfriend by paying for their own comfortable, private hotel room.

Want to host adult guests? Provide them with decent sleeping arrangements. If you can’t or won’t, you have no right to balk at a hotel.

Your daughter is right and you are LUCKY she is still willing to visit at all. Wow, get a clue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A den with a pullout couch and no real door is not an acceptable space to offer an adult guest, particularly one who isn't a family member.

It is, if no alternative is available. I'm not going to expect everyone to have a guest suite. Aa a guest, I would take whatever host offers. If uncomfortable, would book a hotel next time.

The alternative is sharing a room with someone with whom you already routinely share a room.

An adult guest is not asked to sleep in a room with glass doors. Anyone over 10 shouldn’t be but MAYBE a college student/cousin if they make clear they’re ok with it.

Anonymous wrote:
OP's daughter put her parents in this awkward position, even knowing what they would say.

The daughter should have volunteered to stay in the den, and insisted that her boyfriend stay in the guest room.

BTW, young women do themselves no favors when they are so quick to be available to their boyfriends.

lol the daughter could also have told her boyfriend they can spend this Christmas with his parents.

That’s where this is going to wind up.

Anonymous wrote:A den with a pullout couch and no real door is not an acceptable space to offer an adult guest, particularly one who isn't a family member.

It is, if no alternative is available. I'm not going to expect everyone to have a guest suite. Aa a guest, I would take whatever host offers. If uncomfortable, would book a hotel next time.

I wouldn’t ask my guest to stay in a den either and I wouldn’t want to myself. The hotel seems like a great solution to me I don’t get the strife.

Inviting someone to stay but then saying they have to stay in a den isn’t a very warm invitation. I wouldn’t want to come either.

Anonymous wrote:
OP's daughter put her parents in this awkward position, even knowing what they would say.

The daughter should have volunteered to stay in the den, and insisted that her boyfriend stay in the guest room.

BTW, young women do themselves no favors when they are so quick to be available to their boyfriends.

Ok, brunch granny.

OP's daughter put her parents in this awkward position, even knowing what they would say.

The daughter should have volunteered to stay in the den, and insisted that her boyfriend stay in the guest room.

BTW, young women do themselves no favors when they are so quick to be available to their boyfriends.

A den with a pullout couch and no real door is not an acceptable space to offer an adult guest, particularly one who isn't a family member.

I was that person. My husband and I started dating at 19. A few years of my husband on the couch, when we could afford it (we were in our mid-20s) we said, fine we’ll stay in a hotel if you’ll keep to the rule. No drama, just a fact. We got married after being together for almost 10 years, so seriously. We had been living together since we were 20 as well.

Not sure what is so magic about being 30.

Any update OP? Did you talk to Mr CrankyPants?

Anonymous wrote:Listen if you had an actual guest room to offer him I think I’d feel differently, but a 25 yr old coming to your home and being shown a pullout couch with zero privacy (glass doors), does he have to carry his clothes into a bathroom to change? This is one of those family situations where no one is wrong, but your house your rules, her travel, her choice to stay in a hotel.

Right? The staying in the same room situation aside, this is RUDE and I'd get a hotel regardless because of this alone.

It's smart for the daughter and her boyfriend to stay in a hotel. That it's miles away and limits family time is all the better for them. They'll be subjected less to rants about morality, and no doubt opinions on abortion, immigrants, and how great Trump is.

The Lord and Master hath spoken.