This is OP. I am coming back to say THANK YOU to the people who recommended rowing for my DD. I had her try it out last summer and she loved it and is now on her school’s team.

Thank you so much!

I agree with all the advice about non-team sports, but I'll also add that some team sports are very social. The girls who play softball tend to have great conversations because there's a lot of time when you're not doing anything. Volleyball also attracts some offbeat and fun girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much does height factor into rowing?

It’s a real help, but not a dealbreaker. I’d say at the high school level average height is fine. Someone who is truly short may struggle because their stroke will be a different length than their teammates and that throws things off. After high school level pretty much all rowers will be taller than average.

You need to be long and light to be an ideal rower.

No you don’t. Longer is better (I was an elite level rower and have arms like an ape) but lighter is not helpful. There are lightweight classes because weight is an advantage. Fat isn’t helpful, but it doesn’t intrinsically hurt, either. All mass can be transferred to power on the oar and speed through the water. Heavy weight boats move faster than light weight boats.

I rowed for one year in college and quit because of the extreme focus on weight (at least among the women, IDK about the men). The eating was very disordered. And this was just a club team.

Anonymous wrote:I’m telling you, rowing is the sport for this girl. I have watched countless people (girls, boys, men, women) begin as novices and absolutely blossom in confidence and strength. This includes kids who were probably quite a bit less athletic than your daughter- I recall high school classmates who were bullied, overweight, etc finding themselves on our crew team. One of them posted on Facebook a few years ago about how rowing literally changed his life.

Before people jump all over me- yes I know it’s a very hard sport. I have a Head of the Charles medal and years of involvement across all levels of the sport (hs, D1 college, adult rec). Anyone can learn to row well and will learn dedication and teamwork in the process - plus have tons of fun.

I ageee with this. My son took up rowing his freshman year after playing baseball and soccer for years. He was tired of baseball, knew his skills would put him on the bench at best in HS, and looked for something else. He’s thrived but was already a sporty kid. However, a number of rowers on his coed team were not into sports before and have blossomed at their HS. The camaraderie has been great for him and his teammates. It’s hard work, a time commitment, and expensive, but my son has gained so much from doing it.

I think rowing and running are two sports that could work.

No one in 9th grade has crew experience. It's new to everyone. But at that age, if you put in the time - build cardiovascular endurance, strength, technique - the gains will come fast. And there is a lot of camaraderie. You're on the water, which is always cool. The meets usually involve some travel, which again builds friendships. There's a lot of suck involved. Crew is hard. The weather can be bitterly cold. There's wind. And you are going to be left gasping for air. But for the right person, it's absolutely awesome.

The downside is the time commitment. It takes time to get to the river and put the boat in the water. Then the workout. And then getting home. After homework, there is not much time for anything else. And then there's the expense. Not a cheap sport when you add it all up.

Running is another great option. One of my kids took to it during covid. It was the first thing to open up for kids starved to do something. There were a gazillion kids that started running cross country. For the friendships. To get fit. Or just to do something while schools remained closed.

He started in ninth grade. Smart kid. Shy though. Fit, but nothing extraordinary. As schools opened again, he kept running. Practice is right after school. And will be finished by five or so. Very convenient. He loved it. Made a lot of good friends. It's a very supportive environment, both at cross country and track. The entire team is cheering their slowest runners, and they are really slow when it's no cut. But the vibe was always very positive.

By 11th grade my kid was very good. By 12th grade he was running in the state finals and the Nike Invitational for high school students. Today he runs D1 track at a T20 school. And getting money for it. The time commitment is very significant now. But it just started with some light jogging after school.

Highly recommend running. Totally positive vibes. And can be really transformative.

But every sport requires pain and sacrifice. If you want to be part of a competitve team, you need to enjoy that challenge. If it's not there, it's not there. And I wouldn't push it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't need to do a sport. Making her do a sport when she is unathletic and uninterested will only drive down her confidence and morale. She will be surrounded by girls who have played the sport since they were 3-4-5 years old in many cases. It's too late to take up a varsity sport, OP. She may even have to try out for a spot, and won't make the team.

Who is your daughter? What are HER interests, OP? Have you asked her? If this is about something to put on a college application, just stop already. Help your daughter figure out her interests, don't try to force her to be interested.

This is OP. It is not about something to put on a college application. She is can be a little shy and is not very confident athletically. However, I would like her to enjoy some sport but need something that would not kill her confidence because she is not the best at it. She is very smart, gets good grades and loves musical theatre but not all of the schools she has applied to have great or robust theatre programs so I am trying to figure out something else she would enjoy and which would allow her to practice and socialize regularly with a group of girls.

OP, do NOT force a sport. This can absolutely backfire. Her not liking the sports on offer at typical US schools doesn't mean she will not end up enjoying athleticism in general, or dance or just working out. If she likes musical theatre, this can be very active. See if you can find any places for her that actually have really top notch programs in this- if she is interested. Perhaps if she has the talent and is willing, audition for Interlochen in MI for the summer program. If she likes musical theatre, dance will be incorporated and often requires its own dance classes.

Anonymous wrote:How about a life sport? Rock climbing/bouldering, golf or running. If she isn’t going to put in a lot of effort it’s probably too late for any HS team sports.

+1 for climbing/bouldering

Running, if she doesn't hate it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much does height factor into rowing?

It’s a real help, but not a dealbreaker. I’d say at the high school level average height is fine. Someone who is truly short may struggle because their stroke will be a different length than their teammates and that throws things off. After high school level pretty much all rowers will be taller than average.

You need to be long and light to be an ideal rower.

No you don’t. Longer is better (I was an elite level rower and have arms like an ape) but lighter is not helpful. There are lightweight classes because weight is an advantage. Fat isn’t helpful, but it doesn’t intrinsically hurt, either. All mass can be transferred to power on the oar and speed through the water. Heavy weight boats move faster than light weight boats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much does height factor into rowing?

It’s a real help, but not a dealbreaker. I’d say at the high school level average height is fine. Someone who is truly short may struggle because their stroke will be a different length than their teammates and that throws things off. After high school level pretty much all rowers will be taller than average.

You need to be long and light to be an ideal rower.

Anonymous wrote:How much does height factor into rowing?

It’s a real help, but not a dealbreaker. I’d say at the high school level average height is fine. Someone who is truly short may struggle because their stroke will be a different length than their teammates and that throws things off. After high school level pretty much all rowers will be taller than average.

Cross country is exactly what she needs. She’s the slowest running the mile now because she does not run on her own nor play a sport that requires running or stamina. All that is easily insurmountable. Anyone can improve in running and cross country teams are inclusive. Have her run all summer the summer before school starts and she will love cross country. If she doesn’t run the summer before she might not love it but guaranteed she won’t be the worst runner and will make friends.

How much does height factor into rowing?

Yet another rower here (high school, college, and beyond) and I agree that it could be good for your daughter. I wasn’t “athletic” before I started to row in 9th grade. I swam but was slow. I have always been the slowest runner in any group. And yet I’m a really good rower. You just need to be able to dig in and endure, really. The technique is important but teachable. And there is something just gorgeous about a boat moving well over water. It is magical and makes you want to do it again, and again.

I was a shy, awkward 14 year old. I was a confident and strong 18 year old. It was rowing that did it.

Curling