Thank you, OP. This thread was a gift. (Air horn effect lol)

How narcissistic do you have to be to think that forcing ppl to spend time with you in your home is a "gift" or "Family Experience". Yikes.

A gift is not going to my relatives house. That’s a punishment.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty good consensus here.

- your version of an experience gift is just a gathering you are hosting.
- host a yearly random February gathering if you'd like, but don't call it a Christmas present.
- if you want to give an actual experience gift, it needs to be on the receivers terms. Like a zoo pass they can use as they please.
- nothing is a good gift if the receiver isn't interested in it.
- DH should handle it.
- maybe it's time to stop adult gift exchange.

All of this right here.

Anonymous wrote:Surprise! Kids, you get to go to your aunt’s house sometime. Yay!

AND there will be COLORING BOOKS! [Air horn sound effect]

Surprise! Kids, you get to go to your aunt’s house sometime. Yay!

Wait the gift is a gathering at OP’s house? That is totally fine and lovely to do but that is not a gift.

Are you just trying to save money?

This is one of the funniest and cheap things I have heard about in a long time.

I can only imagine getting a gift from my in laws? Dinner at their house. Woohoo!! We are so excited. lol. Not.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty good consensus here.

- your version of an experience gift is just a gathering you are hosting.
- host a yearly random February gathering if you'd like, but don't call it a Christmas present.
- if you want to give an actual experience gift, it needs to be on the receivers terms. Like a zoo pass they can use as they please.
- nothing is a good gift if the receiver isn't interested in it.
- DH should handle it.
- maybe it's time to stop adult gift exchange.

Perfection.

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. I would much rather give and receive experience gifts than more crap my kids don't want. I also like that OP is taking the initiative to actually plan it. I have one relative who keeps giving my kids "experience" gifts but then never follows up and does it. She gave my daughter the same "experience" 3 birthdays in a row, but never actually took her to do it.

Did the relative give you the actual passes or tickets? Experience gifts are usually a pass to the local play place, aquarium, Lego discovery center.

Pretty good consensus here.

- your version of an experience gift is just a gathering you are hosting.
- host a yearly random February gathering if you'd like, but don't call it a Christmas present.
- if you want to give an actual experience gift, it needs to be on the receivers terms. Like a zoo pass they can use as they please.
- nothing is a good gift if the receiver isn't interested in it.
- DH should handle it.
- maybe it's time to stop adult gift exchange.

Wait a second. I haven’t read this all. But a new family obligation is not a gift. A gift is when you give it to the others to enjoy. If you are going too, that isn’t a gift but a chore.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I’m not poking my nose, DH wants to do this for his family, it’s our choice as a family. Not mine. It’s also the most cost effective choice for us. [twitter]

This is what we have chosen to do, my initial question was “it doesn’t seem like they are totally into it, so should I offer an out?”

I didn’t ask if you felt the gift was appropriate. We believe as a family experiences are more important than someone sending a list of gifts and we just buy stuff off that. We will have the memories, if they don’t want that, that’s ok. I’m okay. I’m not forcing anyone to come.

We can all be adults and decline or better yet, you have a real issue with me or DH, you reach out.

I really am amazing by DCUM and can’t even begin to imagine what kind of friendships/relationships you lunatics have. I’m sad for you.

Are you doing this because you want to spend time with them, or to save money? Don’t be on a high horse if it is the latter.

We have family over and go to our family member’s homes over the holidays. We do not consider it a gift. We are also not into gift giving so we buy ~$20-50 gifts for the kids and call it a day.

Also with little kids, a home invite where the kids can get their older cousins uninterrupted attention is the most fun. At a venue event everyone is often paying attention to the event rather than each other.

Lol. If this is not a troll post.

I have no idea what my response would be if this is what my brother and sister in law "gifted us" every year.


Gee thinks so much for having us drive an hour for Papa John's Pizza Karen. You really knock the gift out of the park again this year. 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

You're telling me the only time you get together all year is for board games and pizza at your house and this is such a monumental event in your eyes that you can center it and experience..... And want to keep doing this year after year so you course this gift on other people? An experience gift is passes to the zoo or ballet or a concert or an amusement park....... It is not inviting someone to your house for snacks. WTF lady.

I guess I've been giving my neighbor's gifts all year because they're always over here hanging out and snacking..... I never knew. My mom was here last week and help make some cookies. I guess I should be expecting a thank you note from her any day now..... She really seem to like the gift.

My family absolutely loves experience gifts, but there's a big difference between you giving us a few zoo passes to use when it works for our family and we can choose a time where it's not super busy..... And trying to coordinate a 16 person outing to the zoo on a weekend. No thank you. I have enough stress in my life without having to coordinate things like that. And even though you said they don't need to attend since it's a gift, they likely feel very obligated that they have to.

Stop being so offended that people don't like your gift. If you want to give it, give it. I don't understand why you're asking here then. It would be like if my husband and I decided to get flaming bags of poop for Christmas because we think it's the best thing for everyone. We can still think that but it doesn't make it true