Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 11:21     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
I'm a twin. I married for love, and after nearly 2 decades together, we are now divorced. We weren't well off, but my lifestyle isn't as great as it used to be.

My twin sister married for lifestyle. I'm pretty sure they dislike each other, but they are still married and have all the nice things.

I'm sure if you could have both love and lifetsyle, that would be great. If I had known that I'd be divorced anyway, I would've gone for lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 10:04     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it so hard to have both? These things are not mutually exclusive, people.


Right. I married for love and we both have money and this a.pretty nice lifestyle.
Bonus is even though he's a great guy I don't have to put up with BS out of fear of losing a lifestyle.


I married for love. We met and fell in love in grad school. We were both ambitious poor students. Now he earns a seven figure income and we have money but I’m not so in love with him anymore. We have amazing children and a fantastic lifestyle.


So not law, what does he do that earns 7 figures from grad school? We went to grad school and have a PhD and barely break 6 figures! I suspect the path must have been hard hence the loss of love?
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 09:49     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it so hard to have both? These things are not mutually exclusive, people.


Right. I married for love and we both have money and this a.pretty nice lifestyle.
Bonus is even though he's a great guy I don't have to put up with BS out of fear of losing a lifestyle.


I married for love. We met and fell in love in grad school. We were both ambitious poor students. Now he earns a seven figure income and we have money but I’m not so in love with him anymore. We have amazing children and a fantastic lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 09:23     Subject: Re:Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:The ones I know that did that were all cheating on their husbands in their 40s.


Yep. Ashley Madison is filled with them.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 08:41     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not lifestyle, it's money. All mentally and emotionally healthy women are very conscious of the ability to provide as a factor in mate selection. They have to be to ensure they can bear and raise offspring and be provided for until the kids are adults and then in old age.

A woman who claims she doesn't care about a potential partners wealth or future potential to get it is a liar or mentally ill. Or not very smart. Or not sexually attractive to desirable men.

The problem comes where the women goes overboard and gets unrealistically greedy. Only a very small percentage of men can be truly wealthy. Only a very small percentage of women are worthy of their premium seed. You DCUM wannabes have to settle for whatever is left over. Sorry


This website is nuts


Somebody is still listening to Andrew Tate.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 08:06     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:It's not lifestyle, it's money. All mentally and emotionally healthy women are very conscious of the ability to provide as a factor in mate selection. They have to be to ensure they can bear and raise offspring and be provided for until the kids are adults and then in old age.

A woman who claims she doesn't care about a potential partners wealth or future potential to get it is a liar or mentally ill. Or not very smart. Or not sexually attractive to desirable men.

The problem comes where the women goes overboard and gets unrealistically greedy. Only a very small percentage of men can be truly wealthy. Only a very small percentage of women are worthy of their premium seed. You DCUM wannabes have to settle for whatever is left over. Sorry


This website is nuts
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 07:48     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do know one person who did this and it did not go well. She married for wealth and that alone really. She had the kids, then got bored and blew it all up by cheating on him in the most insane and obvious way. From the outside it doesn't make sense because this guy was loaded, good looking and generally pretty decent! But he let her call all the shots, and she lost respect for him I think.

But now she's bummed because she's "poor" and only living on $10k a month. Who knows if she regrets it or not...


She is not poor! 10k a month for free? That is rich.


Only if you also then work. $120 per year is pretty poor at least in nyc where I live
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 01:11     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
It's not lifestyle, it's money. All mentally and emotionally healthy women are very conscious of the ability to provide as a factor in mate selection. They have to be to ensure they can bear and raise offspring and be provided for until the kids are adults and then in old age.

A woman who claims she doesn't care about a potential partners wealth or future potential to get it is a liar or mentally ill. Or not very smart. Or not sexually attractive to desirable men.

The problem comes where the women goes overboard and gets unrealistically greedy. Only a very small percentage of men can be truly wealthy. Only a very small percentage of women are worthy of their premium seed. You DCUM wannabes have to settle for whatever is left over. Sorry
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 00:34     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do know one person who did this and it did not go well. She married for wealth and that alone really. She had the kids, then got bored and blew it all up by cheating on him in the most insane and obvious way. From the outside it doesn't make sense because this guy was loaded, good looking and generally pretty decent! But he let her call all the shots, and she lost respect for him I think.

But now she's bummed because she's "poor" and only living on $10k a month. Who knows if she regrets it or not...


She is not poor! 10k a month for free? That is rich.


Not if she has a $5500-6k mortgage, doesn’t work and has to contribute to college, use some $ for kids (it includes child support), has no retirement, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 00:28     Subject: Re:Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
The ones I know that did that were all cheating on their husbands in their 40s.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 00:26     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've never met a woman who claimed to marry for lifestyle, I would be shocked to hear it!


I have a friend who did. Her DH travels for work and cheats on her left, right and center and she looks the other way because she likes the lifestyle. No kids yet.


Does the cheating upset your friend at all? She is open with you about the cheating?


I’ve known her since high school and yes, she’s been open with me about the cheating. She isn’t thrilled about it but I think has sort of made her peace with it and accepted that it comes with the territory (her husband is tall, reasonably good looking and charismatic, and travels on business multiple times a year… and I can’t say I disagree with her that pretty much all those guys cheat). She’s never been the hopeless romantic type and dated strategically to secure the bag. She’s very pretty but grew up very middle class so it’s not like there were tons of rich guys in her orbit to choose from… otherwise maybe she’d have held out for a better love match who was also rich, who knows. They don’t have kids yet so I don’t know if or how that will change anything. For now she seems… content, but I wouldn’t say happy.


She sounds tragic.

And I would be suicidal if I had her future ahead of me.

(Why didn’t she just work hard in school , and secure her own future??)


+1. No kids and she’s putting up with this bs?

This will blow up, but that will be good for her. It sounds very unhealthy.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 00:16     Subject: Re:Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:I see the happy marriages being the ones who married compatible people with warm feelings but not necessarily ardent passionate love. I also think they tend to be more practical people and not magical thinkers.


+100. This is me. Interestingly DH was somewhat of an underperformed career-wise until we got married. But he had a lot of other good traits, including generally liking kids and willingness to do housework and no time-consuming hobbies like golf or video games. He has maintained those good traits (fully 50/50) and really stepped up his career ambition too.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2023 00:09     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:Marrying for love is just fine. The issue is that you can't marry a deadbeat for love.

No scrubs


lol, end thread
Anonymous
Post 12/04/2023 23:36     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The cost of being married to someone you don't love seems so much higher than the cost of being married to someone who isn't rich.


This. Nearly all the divorces in my tiny all girls’ HS class are women who married “up” into the UC or married laterally to a climber in the UMC. None of the women who married down are divorced.


Men are as faithful as their options.
Anonymous
Post 12/04/2023 23:35     Subject: Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice
Anonymous wrote:Is it so hard to have both? These things are not mutually exclusive, people.


In fact, women are naturally attracted to successful men and many work very hard to meet and attract one for a serios relationship. They rarely succeed because wealthy men have their pick of women and typically won't marry an average looking woman. For most women, the options are to marry a regular worker bee, love or no, or stay single.