Anonymous
11/24/2023 09:13
Subject: Re:Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.
It is a statistical fact that children are far and away the most likely to be abused when there is a non-related male in the household. Of course, maybe OPs boyfriend is not an abuser. Maybe the kids are making it up that he seems creepy. Or maybe he is a predator. There is no way to know from what the OP has written.
Nobody said the BF seems creepy. Quite the opposite. Basic reading comprehension, PP
The "nobody" here is the divorced mom. So her insisting that the BF is "not creepy" is meaningless. A home with two teen girls and no "man of the house"? I would be super careful not to bring a man into the equation. OP, get a BOB and wait until your kids are actually launched, able to support themselves and a good lifestyle on the upwards trajectory.
BTW - with all of this drama, how are your kids doing in their academics? On track to go to college and have a secure, well paying career?
Not OP but what is a BOB?
DP. Battery Operated Boyfriend
Lol, I'm married and also have one of those, did not know that name.
OP, I get that this is cutting into your booty calls and making you anxious he may move on. If it's any consolation, he may not, a relative was in a similar situation. Her teen son was objecting to the bf, who had own older kids. BF insisted on backing off time there, "it's his house" and now, years later, they are still together and live together. He gets along with her kids fine for holidays. So, may be fine. If he moves on, do not retaliate against your girls.
Anonymous
11/24/2023 09:03
Subject: Kids are being rude to BF
I haven’t read all the replies but I feel bad for your teens. They’re old enough to have boyfriends of their own, and now you’ve got a strange man hanging around their private spaces. Things like not being able to not wear a bra in their own home now because there’s some random man there, they always need to be appropriately dressed to go outside, they can’t have personal conversations in their own home because some strange man is listening, he would know when they’re on their period from trash etc. Hopefully they at least don’t need to share a bathroom with him. But I think you should see him somewhere else. And you should have made sure your daughters were comfortable before you invited him to practically live at your house. Very selfish.
Anonymous
11/24/2023 08:54
Subject: Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I cannot even imagine being a teenager and having some non family member over to my house three nights a week eating dinner, taking out the trash, etc.
+1
Totally unfair to them.
It would feel extremely intrusive. They’ve been in an all-female bubble with their mom for at least 2.5 years and here is some guy at the dinner table, taking out trash (stereotypically the dad job), etc.
Should they be rude? No, of course not. But they are kid and they are hurting. And also — maybe they really don’t like him; that is not impossible.
Are you and the guy physically affectionate? Does he spend the night? I didn’t see mention of that, but assume you have sexual relations by 9 months. The kids are also likely very aware of that. Which would make it all the more uncomfortable for them.
Anonymous
11/24/2023 08:53
Subject: Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but it's too much. Almost half the week with a stranger in the house!
I am divorced and dating a very nice man - he has two kids in college and I have two in high school. Not looking to create a blended family at this point. He doesn't hang around the house when my kids are there - they've met him, he comes over to meet up with me or sometimes all of us to go somewhere, but he isn't integrated into our family life.
This seems to be OP's goal and her kids are not up for it. Thankfully the guy seems to want to wisely back off.
I also wonder if the kids are not actually rude if the boyfriend is baking our because he realizes he isn't that into OP and this isn't the life he wants, but using the kids as an excuse.
Once again, this is why you don't live with / introduce a man that isn't committed to you.
Anonymous
11/24/2023 08:53
Subject: Re:Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.
It is a statistical fact that children are far and away the most likely to be abused when there is a non-related male in the household. Of course, maybe OPs boyfriend is not an abuser. Maybe the kids are making it up that he seems creepy. Or maybe he is a predator. There is no way to know from what the OP has written.
Battery-operated boyfriend
Nobody said the BF seems creepy. Quite the opposite. Basic reading comprehension, PP
The "nobody" here is the divorced mom. So her insisting that the BF is "not creepy" is meaningless. A home with two teen girls and no "man of the house"? I would be super careful not to bring a man into the equation. OP, get a BOB and wait until your kids are actually launched, able to support themselves and a good lifestyle on the upwards trajectory.
BTW - with all of this drama, how are your kids doing in their academics? On track to go to college and have a secure, well paying career?
Not OP but [b]what is a BOB?[/b
Anonymous
11/24/2023 08:51
Subject: Re:Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is this "unrelated adult male" business? Is this the new DCUM standard that all non related opposite sex people can not be in the house? He's important to their mom, they should be able to handle having a person that's not related in their house. Tell them to toughin up buttercup.
It is a statistical fact that children are far and away the most likely to be abused when there is a non-related male in the household. Of course, maybe OPs boyfriend is not an abuser. Maybe the kids are making it up that he seems creepy. Or maybe he is a predator. There is no way to know from what the OP has written.
Nobody said the BF seems creepy. Quite the opposite. Basic reading comprehension, PP
The "nobody" here is the divorced mom. So her insisting that the BF is "not creepy" is meaningless. A home with two teen girls and no "man of the house"? I would be super careful not to bring a man into the equation. OP, get a BOB and wait until your kids are actually launched, able to support themselves and a good lifestyle on the upwards trajectory.
BTW - with all of this drama, how are your kids doing in their academics? On track to go to college and have a secure, well paying career?
Not OP but what is a BOB?
DP. Battery Operated Boyfriend
Anonymous
11/24/2023 08:47
Subject: Kids are being rude to BF
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s too soon to have introduced them and for him to be coming over so much. Honestly, I would have hated it too. However, they should not be rude to him.
Do you really trust that OP's accounting of "rude" is actually rude?
I don't. She hasn't identified any rude behavior other than not acknowledging him as much as she likes. It's not their job to entertain him with conversation. If they had actually said anything rude OP would have included it to make herself look better.