Anonymous
11/22/2023 07:27
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
During the luncheon, throw quips at the supervisor who yells at you.
"Let's not talk about work. I don't want Jake to start yelling".
"Probably best if I don't sit next to Jake. I don't want this lunch to end in tears".
"The reason significant others aren't invited is because Jake would yell at all the mothers."
All said in a joking manner.
Also, get screened for post partum depression, which obviously your job is contributing to.
"Let's not talk about work. I don't want Jake to start yelling".
"Probably best if I don't sit next to Jake. I don't want this lunch to end in tears".
"The reason significant others aren't invited is because Jake would yell at all the mothers."
All said in a joking manner.
Also, get screened for post partum depression, which obviously your job is contributing to.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 23:04
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And how is a Christmas party mandatory? Are you an adult child? Sounds it.
Op here. I know it might be hard to imagine but different workplaces have different requirements and norms.
In this case, the outlook invite for the party literally says MANDATORY HOLIDAY LUNCH. In the team meetings leading up to the lunch, leadership has repeatedly stated that no leave will be approved for the day of the lunch. In the nearly 5 years I’ve been in this job, I have never seen a single employee miss it. It’s scheduled during working hours on a Thursday and put on our calendars 3 months in advance.
I’m not sure what more I can say to convey that it is a mandatory work event.
If this lunch and behavior about the lunch wasn’t the norm for your office, I would say they will be doing a mass firing. These people are wackos.
Op here. This is the norm. Same thing every year.
Leadership talks about us like we are her adult children and for her, these big gatherings are THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. THING. She often tears up and in her mind, I think it’s like a family reunion. At first, I thought it was touching and sweet. Now I think it’s crazy and manipulative and I just don’t fit in here. I’m the only one with young kids and I think that might be a factor. I just want to do my work. It’s just work. I have my own separate life. I’m there for the paycheck, not to get my emotional/social needs met.
I think this is the mindset of most GenXers/Millennials.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 22:37
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
How big is this company? You mentioned being at a table with 10 colleagues. Is there more than 1 table?
Anonymous
11/21/2023 21:34
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And how is a Christmas party mandatory? Are you an adult child? Sounds it.
Op here. I know it might be hard to imagine but different workplaces have different requirements and norms.
In this case, the outlook invite for the party literally says MANDATORY HOLIDAY LUNCH. In the team meetings leading up to the lunch, leadership has repeatedly stated that no leave will be approved for the day of the lunch. In the nearly 5 years I’ve been in this job, I have never seen a single employee miss it. It’s scheduled during working hours on a Thursday and put on our calendars 3 months in advance.
I’m not sure what more I can say to convey that it is a mandatory work event.
If this lunch and behavior about the lunch wasn’t the norm for your office, I would say they will be doing a mass firing. These people are wackos.
Op here. This is the norm. Same thing every year.
Leadership talks about us like we are her adult children and for her, these big gatherings are THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. THING. She often tears up and in her mind, I think it’s like a family reunion. At first, I thought it was touching and sweet. Now I think it’s crazy and manipulative and I just don’t fit in here. I’m the only one with young kids and I think that might be a factor. I just want to do my work. It’s just work. I have my own separate life. I’m there for the paycheck, not to get my emotional/social needs met.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 20:14
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And how is a Christmas party mandatory? Are you an adult child? Sounds it.
Op here. I know it might be hard to imagine but different workplaces have different requirements and norms.
In this case, the outlook invite for the party literally says MANDATORY HOLIDAY LUNCH. In the team meetings leading up to the lunch, leadership has repeatedly stated that no leave will be approved for the day of the lunch. In the nearly 5 years I’ve been in this job, I have never seen a single employee miss it. It’s scheduled during working hours on a Thursday and put on our calendars 3 months in advance.
I’m not sure what more I can say to convey that it is a mandatory work event.
If this lunch and behavior about the lunch wasn’t the norm for your office, I would say they will be doing a mass firing. These people are wackos.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 19:28
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Maybe you could pretend you're at a wedding in Game of Thrones. Just do what you need to survive. And if that means not talking and looking stupid then so be it. Wouldn't want King Joffery to cut out your tongue.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:49
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Ha ha OP, I am in a similar boat, counting the days - all 937 of them - before I am able to quit MY job LOL.
You can do this.
Op here. Solidarity!!!!! At least I’m down to 25 or so working days instead of 937!!!!!!
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:49
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:And how is a Christmas party mandatory? Are you an adult child? Sounds it.
Op here. I know it might be hard to imagine but different workplaces have different requirements and norms.
In this case, the outlook invite for the party literally says MANDATORY HOLIDAY LUNCH. In the team meetings leading up to the lunch, leadership has repeatedly stated that no leave will be approved for the day of the lunch. In the nearly 5 years I’ve been in this job, I have never seen a single employee miss it. It’s scheduled during working hours on a Thursday and put on our calendars 3 months in advance.
I’m not sure what more I can say to convey that it is a mandatory work event.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:29
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Ha ha OP, I am in a similar boat, counting the days - all 937 of them - before I am able to quit MY job LOL.
You can do this.
You can do this.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:13
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How do I get through this?
If I make it to Jan 2nd, I’ll have been in my role 5 years and my retirement will vest. I also want my resume to show 2019-2024, rather than 2019-2023.
Can you give me your best survival tips? For example, can I call in sick to the mandatory office Christmas lunch? I just can’t do it. I feel it will be obvious what I’m doing, but I just can’t sit and be fake nice with our leadership team of snakes. Nobody EVER misses it, it’s held during work hours and is explicitly labeled as MANDATORY.
What happens if I take multiple sick days this month? Nothing right?
Anything else I can do to make it more manageable without getting fired?
You’ve survived (they survived you) this long and you can’t tolerate a month more. Don’t call out sick for luncheon. That looks cowardly and everyone knows you’re not sick. Everyone will be. Just take the day off. Do what you need to do. You know the culture there better than anyone else. What works?
*everyone will be relieved.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:12
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
And how is a Christmas party mandatory? Are you an adult child? Sounds it.
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:12
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:How do I get through this?
If I make it to Jan 2nd, I’ll have been in my role 5 years and my retirement will vest. I also want my resume to show 2019-2024, rather than 2019-2023.
Can you give me your best survival tips? For example, can I call in sick to the mandatory office Christmas lunch? I just can’t do it. I feel it will be obvious what I’m doing, but I just can’t sit and be fake nice with our leadership team of snakes. Nobody EVER misses it, it’s held during work hours and is explicitly labeled as MANDATORY.
What happens if I take multiple sick days this month? Nothing right?
Anything else I can do to make it more manageable without getting fired?
You’ve survived (they survived you) this long and you can’t tolerate a month more. Don’t call out sick for luncheon. That looks cowardly and everyone knows you’re not sick. Everyone will be. Just take the day off. Do what you need to do. You know the culture there better than anyone else. What works?
Anonymous
11/21/2023 18:04
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
No advice, OP, just commiseration. My DH just left a similarly toxic and hostile work environment. He too had to wait—he knew he had to go back in July and just started his new job last week—he was waiting until his longevity date to leave, for retirement and bonus purposes. So I get it.
He was MISERABLE. They made it hell the last couple months. They wanted him gone. He took a lot of sick time. They actually allowed him to use two weeks of sick time at the end, they just wanted him gone. Is that something you might be able to do? Personal time? Vacation time?
He was MISERABLE. They made it hell the last couple months. They wanted him gone. He took a lot of sick time. They actually allowed him to use two weeks of sick time at the end, they just wanted him gone. Is that something you might be able to do? Personal time? Vacation time?
Anonymous
11/21/2023 17:50
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Start yelling back. Bullies need to be told to shut the F up.
+1000
Anonymous
11/21/2023 16:42
Subject: Hate my job but MUST stay in it until Jan 2 for my retirement to vest
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:5 years for retirement to vest def sounds like government.
You just gotta grind OP. This will be in the rear view soon. Are there things you can look forward to each week?
If it's government, the holiday party is optional. Also, it takes more than 6 weeks to fire someone for anything other than gross misconduct. Show up, do some work, clock out and forget about the day
When you leave come here name and shame.
I’m thinking this too, usually in government unless you do something very bad they have to PIP you, right? And wait for that clock to run out?
I would just do the bare minimum. I’m in tech and sticking it out until certain dates (when your stock vests, when you get certain bonuses etc.) is very common. The ideal situation is to get severance and laid off (or to volunteer for a layoff) when you’re about to get another job, but that’s difficult timing-wise and probably not a possibility in government.
Op here. Not Govt. The party is 100% mandatory and in 5 years I’ve never seen a single employee skip it.
I’m not on a PIP but they’ve made it pretty crystal clear they want me gone.