Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

And what about your partner?

That's the point. If your partner isn't staying within 10% (with good reason), then they're not being a good partner. Kind of on par with not sharing chores equally, contributing to the household, listening and being kind.

This is crazy. Going from 130 to 145 over the course of a marriage is not “bad partner”-level behavior. Obviously there is a line towards serious obesity where it’s a health concern but 10% if you are starting young and thin is not reasonable. You could easily still be under 25 bmi and have gained 10% from your starting weight - is that being a bad partner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

And what about your partner?

That's the point. If your partner isn't staying within 10% (with good reason), then they're not being a good partner. Kind of on par with not sharing chores equally, contributing to the household, listening and being kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

And what about your partner?

That's the point. If your partner isn't staying within 10% (with good reason), then they're not being a good partner. Kind of on par with not sharing chores equally, contributing to the household, listening and being kind.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let's see ...

I did not post about this previously

My BMI is 21.

Other than around pregnancy, hers was always around 23-24, but it incrased in the past couple years to 27-28. that's official overweight.

To the people who said things like "it's her body", get a grip. I didn't say I was going to try to force her to lose weight, and I'm not trying to "control" her body, just that I would tell her that's what I would like.

To the people who think looks don't matter, stop projecting, or examine your own preferences more closely. They matter to many people. Maybe not weight to everyone, maybe other aspects of appearance to some people. But they matter. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I try to stay attractive to her, and I want her to try for me.

Yes, she knows she's gained weight. Of course she knows. But she's not trying to lose it. If I tell her I would like her to, maybe that would help motivate her.

Do I have a plan? Sure, I have ideas, but I doubt she'd listen to me. Again, I'm mainly hoping this could motivate her.

I've never said this sort of thing to her before. Never needed to. After the pregnancies, she lost the weight. And beyond that, she generally maintained it.

I don't think time is a barrier. She has enough time to lose weight.

If she's actively working on it and progressing, okay. I wouldn't encourage a fast weight loss anyway; that would lead her to put it right back on.

I don't have droopy balls, but that would be out of my control, just like her wrinkles are out of her control and I would not say anything aobut that. But weight is controllable.

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

And what about your partner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.

And what about your partner?[/quote

My partner prioritizes enjoying food more than meeting a weight goal.