Anonymous
Post 11/03/2023 22:38     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to start over when over 60? And I do mean start over.from scratch.


Maybe it will be easier because a lot of people who knew you might have passed already. And if you're an older woman, you're invisible.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2023 22:30     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:XDH was a foreign service brat and moved every 2-3 years. Once we got married and we got the government jobs, he still wanted us to move frequently--even if it was just from Maryland to Arlington, or from Maryland to DC. And I'd have to point out that the school districts were worse and/or we'd lose $$$ in transactions costs for a move to a potentially smaller house.....

It always seemed like he wanted to start over, and he thought that moving--even just a few miles away--would give him that.

A therapist told me that moving wouldn't make him happy, because he'd never be happy until he found a way to be happy with himself. Obviously this is different from pp's sister who needed to escape small-town stigmas, and other stories here that sounded truly liberating.


Yes persistent restlessness. I had an exDH like that. It was exhausting and I eventually left him.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2023 22:00     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to start over when over 60? And I do mean start over.from scratch.


Why not? I'm younger than that but certainly not young. I'm moving to a different country next year. I won't know anyone. I will keep in touch with my family but I doubt anyone else. It's not going to involve a legal name change or anything, but it will be a completely new life.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2023 21:55     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Is it possible to start over when over 60? And I do mean start over.from scratch.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2023 00:03     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm planning on it. 33yo and feel like I can't breathe raising 2 little kids in this area.


This. I lived in the DMV for a long time before having kids and was content. It wasn't perfect but I had a good life and made the most of the opportunities here.

Something about raising kids here feels wrong. I still make the best of it but there is this feeling in my heart like I have to get us out of here. I need to move before it's too late and my kids roots are here. I will not stay once they are grown so I don't want it to be "home" to them. I'm fine coming back to visit but I want our family home to be somewhere else.


I'm from here. I tell my college age kids to NOT move back. I hope they agree and I will follow one of them.


We moved to the DMV from the Midwest when I was in high school. My parents never felt like it was “home” for them but I had younger siblings and went to college in the area so they stuck around. I came back after college, as well. About ten years ago, DH and I decided to make a life change for ourselves and our three kids and we moved out of state. Within a few years, my parents and siblings left the DC area (most followed us!). Best decision DH and I ever made. The kids were young enough that they consider this “home”.


You went to Denver didn't you.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 23:54     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this counts. I was badly addicted to coke/alcohol. I met DH and basically quit all drugs and my old friends on the spot (moved out of a house I shared with folks to live with one of DH's friends). DH got me a new job and I finished college then moved out here to DC with DH.

Never talked to those old friends again and been sober since 2003. But it was basically I met DH and overnight realized I didn't want the life I was currently living and made a new one.


You are amazing! I hope your life is good.


I agree!


Me too! Very inspirational. That must have took tremendous strength.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 23:04     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
XDH was a foreign service brat and moved every 2-3 years. Once we got married and we got the government jobs, he still wanted us to move frequently--even if it was just from Maryland to Arlington, or from Maryland to DC. And I'd have to point out that the school districts were worse and/or we'd lose $$$ in transactions costs for a move to a potentially smaller house.....

It always seemed like he wanted to start over, and he thought that moving--even just a few miles away--would give him that.

A therapist told me that moving wouldn't make him happy, because he'd never be happy until he found a way to be happy with himself. Obviously this is different from pp's sister who needed to escape small-town stigmas, and other stories here that sounded truly liberating.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 20:12     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this counts. I was badly addicted to coke/alcohol. I met DH and basically quit all drugs and my old friends on the spot (moved out of a house I shared with folks to live with one of DH's friends). DH got me a new job and I finished college then moved out here to DC with DH.

Never talked to those old friends again and been sober since 2003. But it was basically I met DH and overnight realized I didn't want the life I was currently living and made a new one.


You are amazing! I hope your life is good.


I agree!
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 18:28     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this counts. I was badly addicted to coke/alcohol. I met DH and basically quit all drugs and my old friends on the spot (moved out of a house I shared with folks to live with one of DH's friends). DH got me a new job and I finished college then moved out here to DC with DH.

Never talked to those old friends again and been sober since 2003. But it was basically I met DH and overnight realized I didn't want the life I was currently living and made a new one.


You are amazing! I hope your life is good.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 16:01     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
I think a lot of you are getting mixed up with moving. Starting a new life requires a lot more than that.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 15:55     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
I don't know if this counts. I was badly addicted to coke/alcohol. I met DH and basically quit all drugs and my old friends on the spot (moved out of a house I shared with folks to live with one of DH's friends). DH got me a new job and I finished college then moved out here to DC with DH.

Never talked to those old friends again and been sober since 2003. But it was basically I met DH and overnight realized I didn't want the life I was currently living and made a new one.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 15:44     Subject: Re:Has anyone started a completely new life?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, for reasons I can't go into. Changed my name, moved far away, and started working at a Cinnabon.


Sweet!
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 15:23     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
I did it with my origin family and my own, married family many, many times. Moving from Europe to the US / around the US / back to Europe etc

Its not changing your life, it's having an itinerant life style.

Anonymous
Post 11/02/2023 14:08     Subject: Has anyone started a completely new life?
I left my town after having to leave an abusive relationship and went to live in a homeless shelter and got a new job and new career. Scary but had to be done and things are better now.