Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who used to share her weight loss processes and journeys with siblings and parents. I never brought up her weight loss but engaged with her when she did. This time around, after 20 years of her trying to lose weight, even as recent as the beginning of the pandemic, silence. No mention of her weight loss journey or process and she’s lost, if I had to guess, 60 pounds. More than she’s ever loss even in her 20s although I suspect she’s lost close to that amount before. And she’s been keeping it off longer than she ever did. She’s in her late 40s now and she looks like doo doo, she has aged considerably. So now she wears a ton of makeup and crew neck/ mock neck shirts to try to hide her aging skin. While I know it’s from semaglutide, she’s not sharing but that’s ok. I’ll keep to myself how bad she looks and we will go about our business. We all will age if we live long enough but she will continue to age on top of what her significant and rapid weight loss has done to date.

I said that to say, not all silence comes from the same place.

Why on earth wouldn't she share her journey with such a loving, supportive sister! It's especially touching how concerned you are about her health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I am going to say something. You will just have to tough it out OP.

Seriously. Why though? Are you only only saying the look great because they lost the weight? Would you say something if they lost the only the weight but otherwise looked just normal and not great? In other words, is the "You look great " compliment for the weight loss only? Real questions.

Signed,
Previously 308lbs now 156lbs.

NP

If someone lost weight but looked terrible I wouldn’t say “you look great!” I wouldn’t say anything. If someone lost weight and was all toned and peppy, I’d say “you look great!” because they do.

And yet no one needs you to say anything. Because they don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently (but not for the first time) lost a lot of weight.

I really wish people wouldn’t mention it at all.

I would LOVE for the whole thing to be completely private. But there’s no way for me to keep you from noticing. It’s too much weight to hide with clothes and also I don’t want to wear a tent. That doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.

If I want to talk about it with you I will bring it up! Seriously! If you think I need an in, just say “you look great” and if I want to talk about it, I will! But probably I’ll say “thanks so do you!” and quickly move on. This is NOT a prompt for you to say “seriously it looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

If my MIL can manage this, everyone can. She used to comment every time she saw me (to my face if thinner and to everyone else if heavier) and now she never does, and it makes me so much more relaxed about visiting with her.

So anyway PSA/pleading if you haven’t made this shift.

They are wondering if you will volunteer that you are taking Ozempic.

Bingo.

I probably know 8 people who, for the last 10 years were fat, are now bordering on underweight. So weird that all of this happened in the same year.

Yup...I've seen that too. Quick weight loss that they struggled with for years....

Anonymous wrote:I lost 30lbs and people constantly tell me how great I look. I love it!

OP you really need to grow some thicker skin and stop looking to be offended.

Why can't you see the other side....some people don't like it. Thats ok too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently (but not for the first time) lost a lot of weight.

I really wish people wouldn’t mention it at all.

I would LOVE for the whole thing to be completely private. But there’s no way for me to keep you from noticing. It’s too much weight to hide with clothes and also I don’t want to wear a tent. That doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.

If I want to talk about it with you I will bring it up! Seriously! If you think I need an in, just say “you look great” and if I want to talk about it, I will! But probably I’ll say “thanks so do you!” and quickly move on. This is NOT a prompt for you to say “seriously it looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

If my MIL can manage this, everyone can. She used to comment every time she saw me (to my face if thinner and to everyone else if heavier) and now she never does, and it makes me so much more relaxed about visiting with her.

So anyway PSA/pleading if you haven’t made this shift.

I already do this

Me too.... I hope people don't think I'm ignoring their progress but I think as a society we need to stop focusing on looks. Let people be. All of it....stop commenting on weight, height, hair, age etc. Stop telling girls they are so "pretty" or boys they are so tall or buff. People are more than looks-celebrate their kindness, contributions to the community, their friendship. If you are proud of your weight loss and need validation~ then share it out loud and someone will give you the kudos you desire. Also what if someone is losing weight due to illness or stress....maybe they don't want to share that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skinny people get jealous when their fat friends lose weight. They're so used to being the hot, skinny friend, that they FREAK OUT when they realize that OMG they're going to have competition or something from their formerly fat friend. Lady, I didn't lose weight to somehow compete with you over who is the skinniest and best looking, I did FOR MY HEALTH. Get over yourselves, not everything is all about you.

Lady, this is in your head. Fat women are so hateful towards thin women, it’s insane. But most of the time we aren’t thinking of you. I would love it if more obese people would lose weight. I’m sick of you all spilling over into my seat on the metro and at sporting events.

+1
I wish fat was not one of these eggshell topics. I'm happy for anyone who gets healthier. Plus I wouldn't have to worry about bein squeezed in the middle seat on an airplane. I'm small and people have actually asked me to move to the middle seat so they can spill over. Yuck.. I said no, but still to think I would move has some nerve.

I lost 30lbs and people constantly tell me how great I look. I love it!

OP you really need to grow some thicker skin and stop looking to be offended.

I have a sister who used to share her weight loss processes and journeys with siblings and parents. I never brought up her weight loss but engaged with her when she did. This time around, after 20 years of her trying to lose weight, even as recent as the beginning of the pandemic, silence. No mention of her weight loss journey or process and she’s lost, if I had to guess, 60 pounds. More than she’s ever loss even in her 20s although I suspect she’s lost close to that amount before. And she’s been keeping it off longer than she ever did. She’s in her late 40s now and she looks like doo doo, she has aged considerably. So now she wears a ton of makeup and crew neck/ mock neck shirts to try to hide her aging skin. While I know it’s from semaglutide, she’s not sharing but that’s ok. I’ll keep to myself how bad she looks and we will go about our business. We all will age if we live long enough but she will continue to age on top of what her significant and rapid weight loss has done to date.

I said that to say, not all silence comes from the same place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently (but not for the first time) lost a lot of weight.

I really wish people wouldn’t mention it at all.

I would LOVE for the whole thing to be completely private. But there’s no way for me to keep you from noticing. It’s too much weight to hide with clothes and also I don’t want to wear a tent. That doesn’t mean I want to talk about it.

If I want to talk about it with you I will bring it up! Seriously! If you think I need an in, just say “you look great” and if I want to talk about it, I will! But probably I’ll say “thanks so do you!” and quickly move on. This is NOT a prompt for you to say “seriously it looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

If my MIL can manage this, everyone can. She used to comment every time she saw me (to my face if thinner and to everyone else if heavier) and now she never does, and it makes me so much more relaxed about visiting with her.

So anyway PSA/pleading if you haven’t made this shift.

They are wondering if you will volunteer that you are taking Ozempic.

Bingo.

I probably know 8 people who, for the last 10 years were fat, are now bordering on underweight. So weird that all of this happened in the same year.

Anonymous wrote:Skinny people get jealous when their fat friends lose weight. They're so used to being the hot, skinny friend, that they FREAK OUT when they realize that OMG they're going to have competition or something from their formerly fat friend. Lady, I didn't lose weight to somehow compete with you over who is the skinniest and best looking, I did FOR MY HEALTH. Get over yourselves, not everything is all about you.

Lady, this is in your head. Fat women are so hateful towards thin women, it’s insane. But most of the time we aren’t thinking of you. I would love it if more obese people would lose weight. I’m sick of you all spilling over into my seat on the metro and at sporting events.

Anonymous wrote:I lost a lot of weight after being hospitalized for a serious illness and I had a colleague who wouldn’t shut up about how great I looked. It was a really strange experience.

Similar experience with a mom friend. I got so frustrated that I finally just told her it actually really sucked because I couldn’t keep food down. Her reply, “Well. You look amazing!!”

Anonymous wrote:Skinny people get jealous when their fat friends lose weight. They're so used to being the hot, skinny friend, that they FREAK OUT when they realize that OMG they're going to have competition or something from their formerly fat friend. Lady, I didn't lose weight to somehow compete with you over who is the skinniest and best looking, I did FOR MY HEALTH. Get over yourselves, not everything is all about you.

Hey, I'm skinny and I am far from jealous when other people do things that make them healthier, hotter, or whatever. It has nothing to do with me, and I'm happy for them. And for what it's worth, I think tall, hefty women are often stunningly gorgeous.

However, I don't appreciate random people commenting on my weight. I've only recently been able to maintain a healthy weight, and when I was too skinny, everyone seemed to think it was wonderful to comment, either to tell me I was "lucky," or to tell me how much better I'd look if I gained weight. I had health problems, not good luck or a skewed body perception.

If you want compliments, you can bring up the subject, as others have said. I think it's rude to comment on someone's appearance out of the blue.

PSA— I’ve lost more than 50 pounds in the last six month And I love when people tell me I’ve lost weight. And I PE ply with the truth, which is “thank you. I’ve really been working hard at it, but I can’t always tell when I look in the mirror”.

I may or may not add that I’m on Wegovy. But I’m not ashamed of it and I don’t care who knows. I’m on Wegovy, plus 1200 calories and protein, plus a personal trainer, plus cardio. So, I’m putting in the work. Wegovy just help me get out of the stuck/ nothing helped place where I was. And if someone is struggling with weight loss destigmatization has to start somewhere. I started Wegovy because a friend was on it, was successful and was willing to answer my questions.

It’s like getting mental health treatment. Sometimes willpower doesn’t work. So I let people know they aren’t alone in struggling and that getting medical help isn’t shameful. For depression. For weight loss. Betty ford destigmatized breast cancer. It has to start somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:OP if you lost significant weight then it's only natural that some/many people will comment, and usually there's no malintent. You're not going to change how most of the population responds to a significant change in your outward appearance, especially when it comes to weight because is where most people struggle. Either ignore it, stop being offended by it, or keep being offended by it which really only makes you a more angry person.

I don't think it is natural and judging from this thread many others don't either. Perhaps you should think more about your actions. I agree there is no malintent . It is just people not really thinking about the comment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but I am going to say something. You will just have to tough it out OP.

DP I just gray rock and make it awkward for you.

Imagine being such a jerk about someone complimenting you.

"You lost weight" isn't a compliment.

It often is.

No it's not. It's an observation.