My first thought is someone left them laying around the office or even put them in the supply cabinet. People in my office get rid of their junk like that all the time. Leave it in the break room, whatever.

My mind would not go to affair over a notepad.

Anonymous wrote:

Jumping to short fuse = could be an affair! without any other indicators is really ignoring what could be other more realistic problems. I wonder sometimes how many spouses of DCUM OPs wondering here, "Could it be an affair?" over something minuscule are actually people who have other, utterly non-affair, reasons for irritability.

You need better analytical reading skills. The post did not suggest ignoring other "realistic" sources of the notepad. It said that irritability (and a lot of other things) CAN be a sign of an affair, and that coupled with the disappearing notepad might be sufficient motivation to look at things more carefully. And FYI, if OP is actually worried about her spouse having an affair, just straight up asking without first trying to gather more information is a terrible idea.

Please. Your post didn't suggest ignoring other possible options, but it also didn't bother to note what any of them might be. You'd rather feed OP's paranoia by telling her to add up irritability plus mysterious notepad. There are so many other potential reasons for a short fuse but hey, that notepad suddenly turns the short fuse into evidence of...something? Classic DCUM, to encourage a paranoid OP instead of telling her to act like an adult and communicate.

Anonymous wrote:

Jumping to short fuse = could be an affair! without any other indicators is really ignoring what could be other more realistic problems. I wonder sometimes how many spouses of DCUM OPs wondering here, "Could it be an affair?" over something minuscule are actually people who have other, utterly non-affair, reasons for irritability.

You need better analytical reading skills. The post did not suggest ignoring other "realistic" sources of the notepad. It said that irritability (and a lot of other things) CAN be a sign of an affair, and that coupled with the disappearing notepad might be sufficient motivation to look at things more carefully. And FYI, if OP is actually worried about her spouse having an affair, just straight up asking without first trying to gather more information is a terrible idea.

Everyone on DCUM "Affair!" threads thinks they're some kind of PI who specializes in adultery cases, and advises OPs like this one to play silent sleuth too. Because God forbid any OP should ever just turn to the spouse and say, "What's this and why is it here?"

This OP seems to have, as far as she's said, no other reasons for suspecting her DH. But nope, she should be sure to clam up, let this "discovery" fester and seethe and brew up some good old tension, and "try to gather more information" in secret!

I get doing the snooping and information gathering if there are other red flags. If there aren't, why let your imagination run wild with the worst possible scenarios instead of asking?

Yawn.
Come back after you’ve asked your spouse about the notepad but only if there is a juicy answer to substantiate your paranoia.

Jumping to short fuse = could be an affair! without any other indicators is really ignoring what could be other more realistic problems. I wonder sometimes how many spouses of DCUM OPs wondering here, "Could it be an affair?" over something minuscule are actually people who have other, utterly non-affair, reasons for irritability.

You need better analytical reading skills. The post did not suggest ignoring other "realistic" sources of the notepad. It said that irritability (and a lot of other things) CAN be a sign of an affair, and that coupled with the disappearing notepad might be sufficient motivation to look at things more carefully. And FYI, if OP is actually worried about her spouse having an affair, just straight up asking without first trying to gather more information is a terrible idea.

Anonymous wrote:I would be tempted to tell him you scribbled something down on a piece of paper from a notepad in his office, tore it off the pad, and now can't find it-- ask if he has seen the piece of paper. Tell him it was the Fairmont notepad. Then oh, BTW, have you stayed at the Fairmont?

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ve looked everywhere for this notepad and can’t find it. It’s gone.

I’m not gonna ask him about it without it so just taking a mental note I guess. Thanks for those responded.

For those asking, I would normally ask him as soon as I saw it but he was on a call so I was in and out. I came back to look it for it when he was finished so I could casually bring it up but it was gone.

I think this is smart OP as the notepad disappeared and you don’t have it as proof .

I do find it extremely odd that it disappeared and that makes me feel he is up to something but again it’s all speculation.

Use protection and keep your eyes and ears open. If it were me, I’d be suspicious.

Omg. Me asking him to use protection (we never use condoms; haven’t in 20+ years) would raise a helluva lot more concern and ?s than asking where he got a notepad. Wtf?

Well it IS a possibility he is cheating.

And asking for the notepad or condoms will address that which is why I don’t understand why she just doesn’t ask about the hotel/notepad.

Maybe it’s a sister company for a hotel where he has stayed? Or maybe someone left it in his path and he just kept it. (Someone drawing a diagram or list of work related thing, and thus hand him the whole thing because it’s a freebie they don’t care about)
I wouldn’t blow anything up over it.

If you see it again, and you’re both right there, you could mention it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ve looked everywhere for this notepad and can’t find it. It’s gone.

I’m not gonna ask him about it without it so just taking a mental note I guess. Thanks for those responded.

For those asking, I would normally ask him as soon as I saw it but he was on a call so I was in and out. I came back to look it for it when he was finished so I could casually bring it up but it was gone.

I think this is smart OP as the notepad disappeared and you don’t have it as proof .

I do find it extremely odd that it disappeared and that makes me feel he is up to something but again it’s all speculation.

Use protection and keep your eyes and ears open. If it were me, I’d be suspicious.

Omg. Me asking him to use protection (we never use condoms; haven’t in 20+ years) would raise a helluva lot more concern and ?s than asking where he got a notepad. Wtf?

Well it IS a possibility he is cheating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ve looked everywhere for this notepad and can’t find it. It’s gone.

I’m not gonna ask him about it without it so just taking a mental note I guess. Thanks for those responded.

For those asking, I would normally ask him as soon as I saw it but he was on a call so I was in and out. I came back to look it for it when he was finished so I could casually bring it up but it was gone.

I think this is smart OP as the notepad disappeared and you don’t have it as proof .

I do find it extremely odd that it disappeared and that makes me feel he is up to something but again it’s all speculation.

Use protection and keep your eyes and ears open. If it were me, I’d be suspicious.

Omg. Me asking him to use protection (we never use condoms; haven’t in 20+ years) would raise a helluva lot more concern and ?s than asking where he got a notepad. Wtf?

Not OP btw

I would be tempted to tell him you scribbled something down on a piece of paper from a notepad in his office, tore it off the pad, and now can't find it-- ask if he has seen the piece of paper. Tell him it was the Fairmont notepad. Then oh, BTW, have you stayed at the Fairmont?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ve looked everywhere for this notepad and can’t find it. It’s gone.

I’m not gonna ask him about it without it so just taking a mental note I guess. Thanks for those responded.

For those asking, I would normally ask him as soon as I saw it but he was on a call so I was in and out. I came back to look it for it when he was finished so I could casually bring it up but it was gone.

I think this is smart OP as the notepad disappeared and you don’t have it as proof .

I do find it extremely odd that it disappeared and that makes me feel he is up to something but again it’s all speculation.

Use protection and keep your eyes and ears open. If it were me, I’d be suspicious.

Omg. Me asking him to use protection (we never use condoms; haven’t in 20+ years) would raise a helluva lot more concern and ?s than asking where he got a notepad. Wtf?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband scoops up notepads where ever he can. Hotels, banks… you name it. He’s always scribbling down stuff at home and is happy to get the pads free. Every hotel meeting room lays out the notepads so why not take them?

Mine does too. He would totally take a souvenir from his tryst.

Mine would take the soaps/body wash and lotions. He can't pass those up at the high end hotels. lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes my co workers get a note pad and then leave it in the office supply room, and others may take it home.

Don't over react, just be observant. NEVER confront until you are SURE.

Actually, this should read never confront until you are sure AND you’ve had a chance to get financially organized.

Great point!

Anonymous wrote:My husband scoops up notepads where ever he can. Hotels, banks… you name it. He’s always scribbling down stuff at home and is happy to get the pads free. Every hotel meeting room lays out the notepads so why not take them?

Mine does too. He would totally take a souvenir from his tryst.